The night was so full of tears, but the next day I want on to talk to my therapist Daniel. "It has been a long year for you. I am sorry for your lost." At this moment I had no tears left to cry. We went on to talk about what I should do to help me with the lost of Charles. And I told him about Marlee. And we walked for hours.
***
After seeing Daniel I went to the hospital to see Charlie. And there she was. "Get away from him." I said rudely. "I'm sorry." Says Marlee who is wearing a doctor's cloths. "What are you doing here?" I asked her, "I am the new Physician Assistant at this hospital." Then as if it was on cue Christ walks in, "Oh hey Marlee. How you liking your first day?" "Oh it's-it's okay." I looked away, "Cowboy, can I hold him?" "Yeah he's doing great, he maybe out of here before you know." I smiled and I grabbed Charlie and went to sit somewhere quiet.
Later on Zoe had brought the kids to the hospital, and they were all just playing with Charlie, and he was sleeping.
***
Days has pasted and I was getting ready to go and get Charlie and bring him home. And I had taken some days off to stay with my family. Although it has been a week since Charles dead it just doesn't feel right having all of this room in our bedroom. "Okay who's ready?" I asked them as we walked out to my car. "Me." They all answer.
I drove to the hospital and as I entered Charlie's room, there she was. "..." I didn't say anything to her since the funeral. "Oh hi. I didn't see you there." I sigh, "How-how's he?" "Oh his a strong boy........ hey do you think we can probably...I don't know y'all?" I nodded, "Yeah, we can. But can it be on next week?" She nods and I went on to sign off papers for Charlie. "Okay his all yours." She says as she hands me him. "Hi little guy. You ready to go home?" I had finished with all the paperwork and then we went home. Once we were home I had made dinner and we were all laughing and telling jokes. God I missed this.
***
Charlie was on his bed which was in my room and the kids had slept with me today, it has been happening for a while now. Mostly JP would help me out with Noah when he has nightmares and stuff like that, I guess he had become part of the family too.
***
I couldn't sleep so I decided to look up house to move too. I need a change and I think it would be great for the kids as well, because Noah had gotten into a lot of fights in school and I just feel like he needs a change. And Danny doesn't play the guitar anymore, we were all falling apart but I needed to be strong for them, and be there for them. And I think moving could be great for all of us.