summary: roman and janus have had a rocky relationship, but they still came back as friends in the end, maybe this will be the one time they can't make amends...
word count: 1602
okay this is SUPER long and it took SUPER long but in my defense i wasn't home all day so i couldn't work on my hw, i couldn't draw, and i couldn't write so ya can't blame me :) also i'm really tired rn and i doubt anyone will see this rn, they probably won't even see this in the morning, so don't blame me for any typos or whatever (not that anyone ever does bc y'all are really sweet but still)
tw// crying, fighting, mention of death, mentions of jerky jerks, roman being a little meany boy >:(
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Roman and Janus never had the best relationship. All of high school was filled with insults spouted at each other, petty pranks, rumors spread, sometimes it went as far as physical violence. But all of that was in the past.
Now three years after graduation, Janus and Roman were roommates with Logan, first Roman's high school best friend and now a friend of Janus's. Roman and Janus's relationship was on the mend, they weren't BFF's but they were close friends. They mostly got along, they rarely fought, everything was great.
Janus knew he cherished to friendship more than he let on, he had no real friends, not even his family cared much for him, especially not after he came out. But Roman was there for him at his lowest, he accepted him, everything he had done for Janus was appreciated. That's why Janus was currently trying to diffuse the situation before his anger got too out of control.
Roman was mad at Janus, the reason unknown to Janus, and was trying to argue with him. "Roman, just calm down, let's talk this out, okay? I have no idea what you're talking about, can we just pause and rewind?" Roman glared at him then stormed into Janus's bedroom.
Janus could tell Roman was up to no good so he followed him, desperately trying to calm him down or figure out what was wrong.
Roman grabbed a pair of scissors from Janus's dresser and one of his shirts. "Admit it." Janus's eyes widened. "Okay Roman, seriously, put the scissors down. I don't know what you're talking about." Roman shrugged and cut down the middle of the shirt.
"Roman! Seriously?!" Roman grabbed one of Janus's sweaters. "I'm dead serious, tell me the truth." "I am telling your the truth! I don't know what you're talking about!" Roman cut into the sweater, the cut was more awkward since the fabric was thicker, there was no way Janus could fix that one.
"Okay, fine. Um, I used your mug this morning." Roman looked unimpressed. Janus cursed then thought some more. "I stole your clothes? I took an extra hour in the bathroom this morning just to spite you and Logan?" Roman grabbed a picture off of Janus's vanity mirror, Janus was on the verge of tears now.
"Roman, please not that. Anything but that, you know how much that picture means to me, please." His voice broke, Roman showed no sympathy. The picture was of Roman, Logan, Janus, and Patton after graduation. Janus barely became friends with the group after beginning to date Patton, the picture reminded him he wasn't unlovable, that there was always someone there for him. The picture meant more since just a year after they graduated, Patton had died.
"Look, I'm sorry for whatever I did. You can destroy my entire room, you can throw my phone out the window, literally anything, but don't destroy that picture, please." "Admit what you did." Janus let his frustration slip out a bit, "I don't what I did, Roman, just tell me!"
Roman dropped the scissors and glared at Janus. "You convinced my boss to fire me and then you slept with my boyfriend." Janus's panicked expression turned to an exasperated one, "Roman, really? Do you seriously think I'd do that? First of all, I've only ever met your boss once and he was a jerk, remember? He kept trying to ask me on a date and wouldn't take no for an answer. Second of all, your boyfriend constantly cheating on you, you kept making excuses for him. I didn't do any of that but even if I did, it was for the better." Janus scoffed.
"For the better?" "Yeah, both of those guys were assholes and slightly abusive towards you, it's good-" "This isn't a good thing, Janus! I lost my job, I lost my boyfriend! I never thought I'd move on after Virgil but then Nick came along and-" "Well, it's your fault for dating a guy named Nick." Roman felt like he should trust Janus, but Janus's lack of sympathy just angered him more. He knew Janus was probably telling the truth, he knew he cared, he knew Janus was probably trying to joke to lessen the tension, but Roman was too far gone to even realize what he'd done until it was too late.
He'd ripped the picture into a bunch of tiny pieces, dropping them to the floor.
Janus dropped to the floor with the pieces, trying to pick up every piece and salvage the picture. Roman knew he was wrong, but his pride didn't let him apologize. He just walked out of the room and away from Janus.
~~~~
Over the next few months, Roman avoided Janus as much as possible. Janus made no attempt to fix the relationship, no attempt to make Roman laugh like he usually did after an argument. At first, Roman convinced himself it didn't matter, that without Janus's annoying comments, the apartment was better. He knew it wasn't.
Roman had had enough, he needed to fix this. He sat in the living room with Janus, 'He looks tired, terrible even.' Roman tried to act normal, he pointed at something on the show they were watching. "I wonder how they made that. Do you think they built it out of wood or cardboard or something else?" Janus just stared at the screen. "What show is this? I don't think I've seen it before." Janus left back to his room, Roman checked the show info and frowned. The show was a sitcom Patton loved.
Roman really had to fix this. Once Janus and Logan were asleep, Roman snuck into Janus's room, scanning for his clothes that were cut up. Roman eventually found the sweater and the shirt but they were now two different colors, Janus clearly sewed them with another shirt and sweater. 'Well there goes that idea. What else can I fix?' Roman looked around and spotted the pieces to the picture he'd torn up, half of the picture together while the other pieces were in a pile to the side.
Roman put the pieces that were together onto a folder, making sure not to mess it up, then slid the random pile on the other side of the folder. He made his way back to his room and spread his materials out on his desk, getting to work on putting the picture back together.
A few hours later, he finished, the picture was ready to be taped. After finishing the front, he flipped the picture to completely tape it together but he froze at the handwriting on the back.
'Janus, I don't know where we'll be a month from now, a year, even 10 years, but I do know this: you are an amazing friend and an even better boyfriend. I know you get insecure a lot and you tend to use anger as your defense mechanism. But I promise you, if you start letting the right people in, we will never hurt you. I love you so so much and I promise I will try to call you at least every week! Love, Patton'
Roman sighed, he'd done exactly what Patton convinced Janus they wouldn't do, he hurt him. 'Okay, Roman. Let's get this done and restore our friendship.'
~~~~
Janus ran into the kitchen and stared at Logan with an alarmed look on his face. "Logan, do you know what happened to my picture? The one we took at graduation?" Logan thought for a moment then shook his head. "I can't say that I do, I'm sorry-"
"Janus?" Janus jumped and turned around to see Roman standing beside him. Janus didn't say anything, still fearful that Roman would lash out at him or he'd say something to anger Roman even more. "Sorry if I scared you. I didn't mean to." A beat of awkward silence occurred before Roman went on with his point.
"Anyways, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for what I did. It was uncalled for, I overreacted, and you were right. About my boss and my boyfriend, I mean. Or is it my ex-boss and ex-boyfriend? I honestly don't really know what I'm saying anymore." Roman trailed off into mumbling at the end. "Um, I don't really know why I did what I did but still, I'm sorry, Janus. To make up for it, in part anyway, I put together this book. The cover is the picture, I fixed it, and the rest of the pages are either stuff Patton wrote that might help you from time to time or stuff I could write in Patton's handwriting. It's pretty plain and a little sloppy, I admit I'm still a little loopy from the lack of sleep, but I hope you like it."
Janus took the book with shaky hands and gently opened it. The first page, in Patton's handwriting, 'You are lovable.' Janus wanted to breakdown, he almost wanted to sob uncontrollably, but he carefully set the book down and pulled Roman into a tight hug. "Thank you so, so much. You will never know how much this means to me." Roman smiled and hugged him back, "It was no problem, Jan."
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okay sO i wanted to make this end on an aNGsTy note but after rewatching the newest episode (and all of the fan art to come out of it) i decided i felt bad and so i took pity on you :) anywho, i love you all, hope you enjoyed, stay safe, buh bye!!
10/10/20