Going away won't change anything if you're running from yourself
-Joyce Rachelle
*******
"I think I like you Joon"
The words were ringing in Namjoon's mind. He just stayed still dumbfounded at her words. He never saw that coming.
"Joon", she called him snapping him out of his trance.
"Did you hear me?", she asked again seeing his numb response.
"Soo Ah, I am sorry. I mean I never thought of you more than a friend", he blabbered and rushed out bidding a bye to her.
Soo Ah looked at his vanishing figure and wiped the fresh hot tears streaming down her cheek.
#####
Three weeks later
3 weeks passed by in a flash and they were all having the last internal exam today. Hana and Jungkook often kept hanging out by themselves or with the others. Soo Ah became less talkative and she avoided Namjoon all the time, though he tried approaching her in different ways. Yuna joined Jimin, Kyunghee and Taehyung as they forced her, and then Kyunghee emotionally blackmailed her. Jin and Ara went on dates and always tried to find time to spend together. Hoseok signed for some dance events and Yoongi was busy composing for a new song.
"How did you write this one?", Kyunghee asked as soon as she saw Namjoon out of his exam hall.
"The paper was really easy Kyunghee, and you?", he asked with his dimples popping out.
"I wrote mine well", Kyunghee smiled.
"Soo Ah", Kyunghee called as she was walking through the corridors.
"Oh Kyunghee, how did you write your paper?", she greeted her while avoiding Namjoon's gaze.
"I wrote well and you?"
"I screwed it very bad. Anyways, it doesn't matter to me", she just flipped her hair.
"Soo Ah, can we talk?", Namjoon asked and Kyunghee excused herself sensing the tension between them.
"If it is going to be how are you? Here is your answer, I am perfectly well.", Soo Ah turned to go but Namjoon held her hand.
"Let's talk somewhere else", he dragged her from the there,
"Soo Ah", he held both of her hands.
"I don't want to talk about it Namjoon", she tried to control her tears.
"Soo Ah, look at me", he cupped her tender face with his palms and looked into her eyes.
"I am sorry for being rude that. I should not have said a straight no, I mean...", he started explaining.
"It's okay Namjoon, I understand your feelings and I respect your decision.", she started to speak but he hushed her,
"Shh. I didn't know how to react back then. You are the first and the only girl who asked me out. I was so new to it. And my mind didn't work properly at that time. I thought to just escape from that situation and I left like that not thinking about your feelings. I am very sorry Soo Ah", he expressed his guilt of leaving her like that.
"It's okay Namjoon", thought it still hurts that he didn't consider her confession, she felt a bit light after hearing his side.
"Don't call me that. Please call me Joon. I don't want us to be like this after all that friendship we have shared. Let us be like friends again", he asked her only to receive a blank expression from her.
"I am afraid I can't be the same Joon. It hurts me more that you didn't even try to consider my feelings", she couldn't take it more. Though he wants them to be normal again, Soo Ah felt bad for her feelings being ignored.
"Soo Ah, I am trying to be considerate. But I need some time", he blurted.
"What?", she didn't understand what he was speaking.
"What I mean is I want some time to imagine us. I need some more to make myself ready to share the same feelings. I will try my best you know, only if you could be a bit patient", he finally spoke his heart out. He wants to say that to her since that day but never had the chance to. He need time to make himself perfect for her was the actual reason. But he chose to convey it in a different sense.
Soo Ah was first flabbergasted at his revelation. All this time, she felt hurt as he never tried to understand her. And she tried to find a lack in herself. She even thought of asking Taehyung what was his brother's ideal type, so that she could change to suit him more.
But listening to his words, her heart felt a bit light from all the thunderstorms she felt since 3 weeks. She was confused, angry and disheartened all these days, blamed herself for falling for the guys who don't love her back. His words didn't just make her calm but also hopeful at the fact that he will be trying.
"Joon", she called him with tears in his eyes. And to her shock, he hugged her tight.
"It was so hard for me to keep distance from you Soo Ah. You were always my great friend. I missed you very badly Soo Ah. Please don't leave me again okay?", he asked with a deeper emotion in her voice.
"I am sorry Joon for pushing everything at once and not thinking about you. And I promise, this will never happen again.", she reciprocated with equal emotion.
"So, you will try to accept me right?", she asked a bit unsure of herself.
"I will try my level best Soo Ah.", he ruffled her hair and she smiled.
"Thanks Joon for giving it a chance"
"I will never turn you down Soo Ah", and he kissed her forehead. A gush of tingling feeling was felt by the girl at his action. Her heart skipped by a beat at that moment. Seeing this side of Namjoon is very much new to her.
"Shall we go to the others now? They will be waiting for us", he asked and she nodded holding his hands.
#####
"Omo, are you both a thing now?", Ara asked as she saw Soo Ah and Namjoon walking hands in hands.
"No, we are just holding hands like friends", Soo Ah defended a flustered Namjoon who was searching for an excuse. They both decided to keep it a secret from the friends until they come to a final decision.
In order to avoid any further question or a teasing session, they freed themselves from the hold and moved ahead.
"Where is Yuna?", Jimin asked as he found her missing out of all. Jimin and Yuna started to become friends slowly when they spent time together along with the other friends.
"I locked her in a classroom", Hana revealed making everyone stupefied.
"Eonnie, I asked you to divert her, not to lock her in a room", Kyunghee looked at her in disbelief.
"Where else could I divert her? She would finally look for us again. So, I had to do that", Hana stated as a matter of fact.
"You are so violent Hana", Jungkook chuckled.
"Okay guys, we don't have time. We have discuss this thing before someone helps her and she comes over here to bury me alive", Hana declared and everyone nodded forgetting the sarcasm in her lines.
"So day after is her birthday, and now that we are all her friends. Let's make a surprise", Kyunghee started.
"Woah! It's her birthday", Jimin exclaimed.
"Wouldn't it be obvious that we will celebrate her birthday?", Yoongi spoke out his thought.
"She doesn't usually celebrate her birthday, she just lands up in our house that night and we chill. That's all. Let's make it different this time"
"So, what's the plan?" , Taehyung asked curiously.
"Well ummm", Hana and Kyunghee looked at each other.
"Don't say that we are doing this without a plan", Soo Ah eyed them and they were caught as they bent down their heads.
"Let's just plan something them", Jimin convinced them and they nodded.
"Hana, how dare you lock me there?", Yuna was glaring at Hana who hid behind Jungkook.
"Jungkook please, save me.", she whispered in his ears and he smiled.
"Jungkook, if you don't move from there, I will make sure you are bald by this evening", Jungkook went numb at her warning.
"Yuna, calm down", Jimin tried to cool her down but she gave a horrendous glare making him quiver in fear.
"Yuna, I asked her to do it", Kyunghee spoke trying to protect her sister.
"What? Why?", She was now glaring at Kyunghee who was at loss of words. She just spoke it out randomly and now doesn't how to continue the flow.
"Because it was a dare, I told her to give that dare to Hana. Hana lost to Kyunghee in rock, paper and scissors and she gave this dare to her", Taehyung pressed Kyunghee's hands assuring her. It was really a dumb one, though.
"Whatever, it was a very stupid one", she sighed and every one took a breath finally.
"Wait! Why do you guys look so serious?" Yuna eyed suspiciously at all of them.
"They were all like that because I told them that I screwed my exam very bad", Soo Ah pretended to be sad.
"Oh my dear boo, is that so? You will rock the finals", Yuna's tone softened and she spoke calmly.
"Thank you boo", Soo Ah hugged Yuna and winked at Hana who sighed in relief. Jungkook was holding in his laughter looking at a panicked Hana.
"I am going to go home and sleep. Will you two come along?", Yoongi asked his brothers and they both gave a big NO expression. So, he left from there.
"Joon, I guess we have to go now", Soo Ah dragged Namjoon before he could say anything.
"Tae, I am craving for cotton candy now", Kyunghee pouted and he smiled leading the way to a nearby stall. Yuna frowned as she went from there.
"Hana, tteotbeokki?", she asked with her eyes blinking with a glint of hope.
"Ahh, I am sorry Yuna. I promised to watch movie along with Jungkook today.", Hana spoke in a low tone. Yuna expected her to invite her along but when there was just silence remaining, she sighed looking the ground.
"Yuna, I want to eat tteotbeokki since long. Will you join me?", Jimin offered as he noticed the disappointment in her face. Her face immediately glowed as he let those words out.
"Bye, then", Jimin waved to the others.
"You were so rude", Jungkook felt it mean as Hana spoke those words at her face.
"I didn't have an option dickhead. I had to lie as we both will be going to buy the things required for the celebration", she explained and he nodded.
"Hyung can take care of the cooking part", he mouthed and she agreed already having the thought in her mind.
"Kyunghee and Tae went to buy the groceries and I asked Soo Ah and Namjoon to take care of the snacks and drinks. I didn't want to disturb Jin and Ara's prescheduled movie date though they insisted on giving a hand. And we have to buy the decorative items", Hana explained everyone's tasks and Jungkook liked the division of work.
"Jin Hyung will order the cake. I will message him, it wouldn't disturb his date anyway. And thank God, Jimin volunteered to accompany Yuna. It would have bothered her a lot if she was alone.", he uttered.
"So you are caring about her now?", she let out a sly smile.
"I just don't wish her to be alone while we all have a company", he stated and Hana smiled. It was unusual of him to speak about Yuna like that. Give them a second to stay together, they search for a reason to pull out each other's hair. She felt contended at the fact that he cares for Yuna despite the hate relationship they share.
"So here we are", they landed in the shop and searched for the items that would fit the celebration.
"Happy birthday balloons is a must", Jungkook put the packet in the cart. He picked up the golden and silver lights.
As walking through the aisle, Hana looked at the photo frame that caught her attention. It displayed a happy family celebrating their daughter's birthday. Seeing that, tears brimmed through her eyes. Her thoughts drowned in melancholy of her life. The only thing which she craved throughout her life. The feeling of lacking it always stabbed her heart like a thousand times.
"Hana, are you alright?", Jungkook placed his hand on her shoulder. He could see her eyes moist and her face filled with desolation.
"Hana, are you crying?", he asked as his hands reached her face to wipe the fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. Instinctively, she wiped her tears faking a smile and moved the basket ahead.
"Hana, are you not feeling well?", he asked her again worried at her gloomy face.
"I am fine Jungkook. Yuna likes party poppers, let's buy them more. And don't forget the snow sprays.", she smiled trying to hide the pain. He didn't bug her more not wanting to make her feel uneasy. But the picture of her teary face was not leaving Jungkook's mind.
"Don't forget the pump, our cheeks will tear if we don't have them", she broke his thoughts as moving the cart towards the counter.
"I will pay", Jungkook handed his card to the cashier.
"I will pay you back", Hana mumbled and he smiled taking back the card.
"Yuna is our friend if I am not wrong", he winked at her and carried the bag.
"Shall we take the bus or the cab?", she asked him and he nodded in negation. She gave a questioning look.
"I will show you something", he grabbed her hand and she was confused at where he was dragging her to.
"Han River. Is this what you want to show me?", she asked him still perplexed why brought her to that place. He stayed silent and looked at the river. As silent it was, it still looked scary despite being calm and just breezy.
The cold breeze was hitting directly on the face as it was turning dark. Shivers chilled down the spine as the cold wind blew through Hana's direction.
"Jungkook, it's cold. Shall we go home now?"
As she turned, he held her hand, pressing them little.
"You know what Hana, life is like this. This cold breeze is like our tough times. If we stand still and don't move, they keep hitting us. It is always important to move on Hana. If you keep suffering, then you wont be able to get up to enjoy the warm breeze, the brighter part of your life", he spoke looking into her eyes which started to glisten.
"What if that breeze hit you everywhere you go Jungkook? What if you don't have a place to move?", she questioned him. He then stood in front of her obstructing the cold wind hitting her face.
"Then build a wall", he looked into her eyes placing his both hands on her shoulders. She understood what he meant.
"It's a different case Jungkook, you won't understand", she looked away not wanting to speak about it.
"Everything is same Hana, except that the situations and people may be different.", he tried to convince her but she got out of his hold looking away.
"It may be easy to say Jungkook, but it is hard to face it. I could never build a wall for the cold winds of my life", she spoke between her sobs.
"I will be the wall Hana", he declared and she looked at him perplexed.
"What?"
"I will be the wall to your cold breeze Hana. I will protect you from those tough times haunting you. Every time I look through your eyes, they show me your pain that you hide behind the smile you show to everyone. Aren't you tired of keeping it for yourself Hana?", he asked amidst the sounds of the water flowing and the breezy air.
"Jungkook, what are you talking about? It's nothing. I just spoke something out of mind", she tried to grab his hand to get away from there as the atmosphere was not helping the situation at all. But he stayed intact in his position.
"Stop lying Hana. No one would speak these things randomly. I want to know Hana. I want to know what is bothering you so much. I want to share your pain Hana. But I don't even know what is troubling you. Just tell it out Hana", he looked into her expecting a response.
"I can't tell you Jungkook", she mumbled in her light sobs.
"You are my friend Hana, I have the right to know", he demanded her now.
"I am not going to tell you Jungkook", she started to walk away but he was fast enough to catch up her speed.
"And why is that?"
"Because you are just a friend"
*******
Author's note:
Hola peeps! I am back again with the next part of the story and I hope you liked it. Do tell me how the story is.
If you have any queries or suggestions,please do ask me. I would be glad to answer. Your support is always my motivation.
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Thanking you all for reading my ff
Love you
Saranghae.