(I CAME BACK EARLEH.)
"RALPHEH!"
"WOT,"
"THERE'S A BIG SPIDER IN MY HOUSE!"
"And?"
"Oh and I want you to play Mario Kart with it- WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?! GET RID OF THAT SON OF A PEACH!"
"OHHHHHHH OKAY," he hung up, although you scarcely heard him muttering about women and their phobia of spiders before that.
. . . .
"YOU CALL THIS A BIG SPIDER?!"
"Seems pretty big to me,"
"IT'S JUST AS BIG AS YOUR THUMB,"
"IT'S AS BIG AS YOUR ARSE,"
He loudly gasped. "YOU.TAKE.THAT.BACK,"
"NO,"
"YOU ASKED FOR IT," he approached the spider, letting it crawl on his palm. Your face instantly paled.
"RALPH NO,"
"RALPH YES!" he chased you, his palm reaching you. You screamed and ran around the house. "HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE!"
"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!"
"IT'S YOUR FAULT I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND,"