summary: virgil made a video log for himself 10 years into the future in the hopes that maybe life got better. 10 years later, virgil and his boyfriend, logan, watch the video.
word count: 729
lil message if you ever feel less than the royal beauty that you are, know that a lot of people care for you, you are worth it, you are loved, no one should feel that way <3
tw// general sadness/crying, slight homophobia, bullying, slight suicidal thoughts/depressive thoughts
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Virgil wiped his eyes with his sweater sleeves, further smudging the eyeshadow on his lower lid. He sighed and pressed record on his webcam.
"H-Hey, future me. I don't actually know how old you are, maybe 26? I didn't think this through. In a book I read, the main character did this and apparently it helped her calm down, just venting to herself because she understands. It's nice, I guess. Today was my 16th birthday, I got the new Panic! At The Disco album, Pretty. Odd. My parents forgot this morning but they remembered before I came back home from school so they had time to bake a cake. You probably remember why today sucked though, right? Roman Prince got a new girlfriend and his shitty friends noticed how upset I was at that. Th-They outed me to the whole school, if there was anyone who cared about me before, they definitely don't now."
Virgil sighed and looked down at his hands. "I know I'll cringe at this when I watch it later, you'll probably laugh at how ridiculous I'm being. But I really feel like there's nothing out there for me. I live in a world where I will never find someone to love, someone who will love me. And even if there is another gay guy will to date me, he'll get tired of my anxiety, having to take care of me. I won't matter to anyone, I'm already invisible, nothing would change if-" Virgil cut himself off and sniffled. "I guess I'll close this out. Are you happy? Did you get to go to a concert? I will be extremely disappointed if you didn't see Brendon Urie at least once. And lastly, are you still alone? Did you finally find people who care? That's it, I don't exactly know how to end this, uh, bye."
Virgil awkwardly saluted the camera and stopped recording.
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"Hello, Dearest, how was your birthday?" Logan softly kissed Virgil's cheek, Virgil blushed and smiled. "It was good. It'd be even better if I got to spend it with my boyfriend." Logan chuckled. "Okay, how about I go pick out a movie and you make some snacks?" Virgil agreed and made his way to the kitchen while Logan went upstairs to their DVD collection.
Logan noticed a case that had no title, curiously pulling it out and examining it. He opened the case, revealing a DVD with 'For 26 y/o Virgil's eyes only' written in sloppy handwriting. Logan closed it, bringing The Black Cauldron as well, just in case, and made his way back to the kitchen.
"Virgil, I believe this is for you." Virgil turned around and slowly grabbed the case. "It's up to you if you want to watch it or not. I won't force you." Virgil sighed, "I'll watch it." Logan nodded and helped Virgil set it up. When they were done, they both sat down on the couch and played the video.
Logan watched a younger version of his boyfriend on the TV screen. His heart figuratively broke at the realization that he had been crying, his eyes red and puffy. As he talked about his day, Logan nearly lost it, how could people be so cruel? Logan had been homeschooled his whole life, thankfully never having to deal with other kids' stupidity. He couldn't imagine why anyone would do such a thing and have the audacity to think it was amusing. As the video progressed, Logan realized that Virgil was implying he had suicidal thoughts in the video. Logan almost literally felt sick to his stomach; Virgil was the best thing life had ever thrown his way, knowing that he could've been taken from him before he even knew him was the worse possible feeling he could imagine.
"That's it, I don't exactly know how to end this, uh, bye." Teenage Virgil saluted the camera as the video stopped. Logan pulled his boyfriend closer to his chest, "I'm so proud of how much you've grown since then. Those kids will all rot in whatever underworld they believe in, they didn't deserve the privilege of growing up with you. I love you so much." Virgil smiled. "If you ever still feel that way, tell me. You mean everything to me, no matter what. I-I can't lose you. Please, promise me?" Virgil nodded and whispered a small reply. "Promise."
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idk i thought this'd be a nice lil thing and again if you ever feel this way, plz know you're not alone. you absolutely belong here, you are loved and cared for. i love y'all, hope you enjoyed, stay safe, buh bye!
8/15/20