Chapter Eleven - New Look
- Madeline's POV -
I sat in Haley and I's dorm for a while, sitting on the bed, rocking myself back and forth. Haley still had not returned from the cafeteria to my disappointment. I know she can be a slight pain in the butt, but as of right now, I just want someone to talk to. Back home, I would have never thought twice about somebody but the thought of liking somebody and thinking they liked you back, but never did, pained me. It was hard to admit, but there was no way Karlie was lying.
The simple thought of Martin seemed to be glued to my brain. I could not get his face, his voice, his eyes, out of my head. The way I am handling this, tells me that I did like him. Or was starting to, at least.
What kind of guy and his friends bet on having sex with a girl? That is so... pig like. Especially on me. The whole idea of that, disgusts me. Yes, I want to experience those things, outside of marriage or not, but I want it to be genuine. Not a 'bet'. And no, I am not suggesting that I do want to have sex with him... particularly after knowing this situation.
Why me though? This was the only thing going through my mind. I wanted to fall asleep and forget about everything but life is not that easy. How will I be able to forgot anyways? He was so nice and gentle with me without making his sexual interest evident, most of the time... Maybe that is what he wanted though. Get me to like him and then take advantage of me. This idea now made me want to cry.
I managed to avoid that though and got under my blankets, resting my head on the pillow. A part of me wanted to lay there and just think but another part, wanted to take a long, hard nap. Without me even realizing, I was beginning to fall asleep, with one last feeling drifting around me.
I cannot believe how stupid I was to believe that stupid facade.
*
"Mads," someone whispered close to me. "Mads..." I felt a hand land on my leg, shaking me slightly. I groaned pulling the blanket closer to me, ignoring the person. "Madeline, wake up," I could now make out that the voice was a girl. I also had a pretty good idea who it was.
I opened my eyes slowly, adjusting to the light. As I guessed, Haley was above me, looking at me with concern. "What time is it?" I croaked out, sitting out a bit.
"Almost five," she said, standing up from my bed. I started to panic because I had no intentions of sleeping that long. I missed my classes and lunch. Crap. Now it is almost dinner time. Damn, I had no idea I had the power to pass out like that.
"Crap," I mumbled, rubbing my temples.
"Are you okay?" I should have known she would ask. Should I tell her? Or keep it to myself?
"I've been better," I admitted taking the blanket completely off of me from the sudden heat increase. She pursed her lips and I knew she wanted to know more.
"I would have woken you up sooner, I just never came back here today," she said rummaging in her closet.
"It's okay," I said forcing a smile. She pulled out a sweatshirt and then looked at me sternly.
"So what's bothering you?" She paused, putting on the sweatshirt. Might I add it was sweatshirt with 'I Woke Up Like This' splattered across the front of it. I had to smile at it. "Or do you not want to talk about it," she added.
I did not really know what I wanted to do. This seemed like one of those 'thanks but no thanks' situations. Although, earlier I did want her here to talk to, so I guess this is my chance.
"Have you ever liked someone, who thought liked you back? Even if it was just a friend for the matter?" I said, feeling that same sadness coming back as I talked about it. I did not even bother to wait for her reply because I had more to say anyways. "But it wasn't even official, if that makes sense.. like I don't even know if I did like that person, but it still hurts knowing that they don't feel the same..." I trailed off, hoping she would not make any assumptions and just understand me.
I heard a sigh come from her as she sat down on her own bed. She nodded her head slightly. "Yeah," she whispered.
"Really?" I was relieved in a way, knowing that I am not alone on this.
"Yeah, a lot actually," she said looking at her hands. Haley was beyond gorgeous to me, so her admitting this was surprising. I could not help but think that she could be mocking me. She started to shake her head in small motions. "Mads, if someone doesn't like you back, that's their loss. I am not going to guess anyone who you are talking about but remember that's their fault. I know you Mads, your smart and beautiful, so don't let this down you," she said encouragingly. Wow, she thinks... I am beautiful? That thought has never crossed my mind about me. I see myself as an average girl, who is stuck as a preacher's daughter.
"Thanks," I felt a little better after her words. Haley was the only person who I know I can count on. Yes, she was a bit of a pest at first about, him, but I think she is over that. Matthew as well. I like him.
"You're obviously too good for them," she leaned back on her hands. "I now know that I was too good for them pricks, just look at this damn shirt," I started to laugh at her remarks. I found myself wishing I could be that free spoken and non-caring as her.
"What do you think would be the best revenge for something like this?" I asked abruptly and out of nowhere. I think I caught her off guard for a moment, but then she smirked.
"Didn't know you were like that," she said slowly as a smile formed on her face. I rolled my eyes but I could not help but smile too.
"What would you do?" I asked.
She examined me, before opening her mouth. "I would show them what they're missing."
- Martin's POV -
"What's that look for?" Zac asked as Karlie sat down with her salad. Some fucking dinner, am I right?
"Nothing," she sounded satisfied with herself. We all watched her smirking to herself and finally Ray said something else.
"What the hell have you been up to?" Ray sounded pissed in a way. I think seeing her ego on full blast, roweled him up. Frankly, it was kind of pissing me off too.
"I said nothing, damn," she shook her head before putting very little dressing on the lettuce pile. I did not believe her one second but I decided I really did not want to start some shit with her right now. Like I have said before, good fuck, terrible personality.
I was actually still trying to think of a way to get Karlie off my back, and me (if you know what I mean), for good. Sure, I will be friends with her, but nothing more. I am so sick of her acting like she belongs to me, when in reality, we see each other once a year. During a summer camp. She lives in New York, so I have no idea why she thinks up this shit.
"So Martin," I looked over at Zac who was chewing on his pizza. "Any new tracks yet?"
I am actually glad he asked a question that is relevant. "Uh, kinda of stuck on some ideas at the moment, no inspiration," I shrugged my shoulders, thinking about all those unfinished files I have on my Mac.
"I feel ya, the energy at this place sucks the life out of everything," Ray chimed in.
"I miss last year, that was one great ass fucking summer," Zac said smiling a bit. I was getting ready to agree with him but it all came back to me in flashes. It.
I wiped my nose, laughing slightly. I sniffled, making sure nothing would come out. All of us were passing around something as well.
"Fucking good life man," I could make out Ray's voice. Although I do not see how because I was fucked up at the moment. I felt a hand run over my belt and I looked down to see Karlie smirking. I grabbed her shirt and pulled her down to me, grabbing her ass in the process.
"I want you to fuck me," the words seethed through, making my jeans tighten. We both laughed simultaneously and our lips crashed together feverishly.
"Take one more hit before you do anything guys," I could hear him laughing. My best friend.
I snapped out of the flashback, overwhelmed with emotions. Sounds sappy for a guy but I cannot help it. It is all my fault. This voice in my head was talking to me, making me even more angry. I couldn't help it.
"Martin," Karlie grabbed my hand and released the fork from it. God damn I have to control my mind more.
"I'm fine," I managed to shake the problem off. My attention soon went to the door and in walked that bitch Haley and Mads. I almost looked away but then I saw something. Mads, she looked different. Not in a bad way, in a way that was, dare I say it but hot. For the first time, I saw her in shorts. There is no way those can be hers.
"Damn Martin, your girl looks hot," Zac said, a smirk showing up on his face.
"What the fuck is she wearing?" Karlie said, sitting up sightly.
"She's not my girl, dumbass," I could not take my eyes off of her. I ignored Karlie's comment but I was asking myself the same thing. I noticed she had a thin tank top on, with another thin garment over that. Oh my God... I had to stop myself from saying that out loud, so I just screamed it in my head. I have already admitted to myself that I do find her attractive but her like this? Fuck. A spark of some sort went off in me, but not an emotional one, but a sexual one. Fuck. Her and Haley made their way over to where they usually sat and very quickly, she glanced over in this area. Soon her eyes found mine but instead of her smiling, she gave me a glare. Whoa, what the fuck?
"Talked to her today?" Karlie sat her head on her hand, looking at me innocently.
"No," I furrowed my eyebrows at her. Not like it is none of her business. It is true though, I have not spoken to her today. She was not in class or in lunch either, so I have no idea what she was doing. That was very unusual for her. Unless she was deathly sick, then I have no idea why she would have not been here today.
"Oh," was the only thing she said. I was getting more and more suspicious with her behavior.
"Where's Kris?" Ray asked. I had not even noticed she was not here.
"I don't know, probably giving head or something," Karlie shrugged finishing her salad. "I'll see you guys later," she hurriedly rushed up and was soon out of the door. Well, more like stomping out the door. I think that is the shortest she has ever stayed with us. Am I complaining? No.
Ray and Zac started to have a conversation about lesbians or something but I was just focused on Mads. She was sitting beside that blonde guy again. Shit, I still cannot remember his name. They were laughing about something which started to piss me off. Why was she being all nice to everyone else but gave me a fucking death glare. What the hell did I do? I have no idea but I am sure going to find out, sooner than later.
- Madeline's POV -
"You coming?" Haley asked me, smiling wide.
"I'll meet you there," I said giving her a wave to go on. It was almost time for campfire but I wanted to go back to the room really quick to get a jacket in case the weather started to act up. It took no time from where we were, so I grabbed a random one before looking at myself in the mirror again. I still could not believe this was... me. The makeup, the hair, the outfit, it was different for me, but honestly, I really liked it. I felt like a girl and most importantly, I felt like how I should be. I was also thinking about Martin and what he thought about this. I wanted to know but then I wanted to punch him in the face, so I do not think I will find out very soon.
It was already to the point of being black outside, so I add to get there as fast as I could. A few people were waiting at the elevator, so I decided to take the steps. I hurried down each floor, trying my best not to trip in these sandals, but I managed to reach the first floor. I grabbed the door that leads out into the lobby area but a hand grabbed my arm, pushing me against the wall. I almost screamed in fear but I soon realized who it was.
Martin.
He was too close to me. So close I could hear his breathing right in my ear. "Hey Mads," his famous smirk appeared on his flawless face. Wait, I did not mean to say that.
I stared up at him, speechless for a moment. "Hi," I said in a low voice, wanting to get out of here. This is one step to forgetting. Staying away from and ignoring him.
"Where were you today?" He asked, letting his grip a little looser than before. "I missed you," his green eyes bored into mine.
"Don't even start," I somehow got up and threw into his face. He seemed taken aback and confused. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say," I tried wiggling out of his grip, but he was too strong.
"What are you talking about?" His Dutch sounded quite angry. My breathing increased nervously as I became aware of that he could full see down my shirt if he wanted to.
"I need to go," I said stubbornly. Haley will probably come looking for me if I do not show up soon.
"No, what's wrong?" It was me now starting to get angry because he would not let me go. I cannot believe he is acting like a moron.
"Don't play dumb Martin," I spat, tempted to kick him in a very sensitive place. "Let. Me. Go." The grip only got tighter it seemed. Soon after, it loosened quite a lot.
"I have no idea what you are on about but -"
"Maybe you should go get Karlie to refresh your mind then," I accomplished out getting out of his grip and turned around quickly to open the door. I cannot believe I actually got through that without freaking out, but I have to admit, I was fighting back the tears again as I left the building.
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A/N Hello! I was sooo bored today and all I wanted to do was write! Lol! But I hoped you guys liked this chapter because I really, really, do :D And can we say drama... Hmm, I'm so excited for you all to see what is going to happen with those 2 :) Remember to comment and vote! It makes me happy :)! <3
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