Changed {Martin Garrix Fanfiction}

Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty Eight - Positive Thoughts

- Martin's POV -

I wake up with a banging headache all throughout my head. I turn over onto my back, opening my eyes slowly, a groan emitting from my throat. Outside the window, I notice it is raining; not much of a surprise in Amsterdam.

I barely got any sleep last night. It felt as if I was in a daze the entire night, my mind racing at one hundred miles per hour. I almost forgot I stayed at Nora's until I noticed this was definitely not my room. I sit up, stretching slightly. I then reach over to the nightstand and grab my phone.

I have two missed calls from my parents and one text from Laura. However, I choose to ignore them at the moment considering all I can think about is Mads. I don't even know what motivated me to talk to her at one in the morning, half drunk.

The conversation did not even go anywhere. I could sense she was mad but I could also sense that she was sad and that made me feel even more guilty than I already did. She was right though; how is she supposed to understand when I'm not explaining anything to her? But how am I supposed to tell her that, without scaring her away?

Fuck. If I don't tell her though, she is going to go away anyways. I know I need to let her in, but I just can't at this point. You have to, my subconscious says.

I meant every word I told her about not wanting her to give up on me. I sound like such a sap, but I need her to be here for me. To many people have gone away and let me down. That just can't happen with her; I won't risk it.

I push all my thoughts of her as best as I can away from my mind and I decide to get myself up from the bed. I throw on the sweatpants I was wearing yesterday, not bothering with a shirt. I open the door and I notice Nora's bedroom door is open, signaling she already got up.

I turn left to go into her living room and I find her sitting on the couch with a blanket draped over her legs, watching the television. Her blue eyes meet mine when I am in full sight and her body shifts position.

"Good morning," she slightly smiles, her voice kind of raspy. I give her a small smile in return before I make my way over and sit down at the other end of the couch. I stare at the TV aimlessly before suddenly, Nora gets up and goes into the small kitchen. She digs around in a cabinet before filling a cup with water quickly. She walks back over to me and holds her hands out, "You look like you need it," she says and I take the small capsules and water from her hands.

"Thanks," I say after clearing my throat. I pop the tablet in my mouth before I take a couple gulps of water. She sits back down and I can feel her eyes on me. I glance at her with my eyebrows furrowed, "What?" I ask.

"Nothing," she shakes her head slightly before diverting her gaze back to the TV. I don't believe her but I drop it, not wanting to pick at anything.

I look away from her, taking in a deep breath, exhaling quite loudly. Reality of having to see them tonight is starting to settle in. I haven't seen them since last year. In the hospital, if I remember correctly. I have been trying to avoid this whole situation for a year, but running away obviously hasn't helped me or them at all.