Chapter 14
Artair looked upon Rohesia, her eyes vibrant, but not in the way he wished it to be. The terror of what she thought would happen when everything came out was clear in her eyes. It was not what he wanted from her, he wanted her to wish to tell him freely, yet, that in and of itself could take years for her to get to that point. At least in this, he knew that no matter what happened he would have the knowledge he needed, and would pull her forward past this when it was all out. For he knew deep within himself that no matter what she had to say, nothing could ever stop him from wanting her with this visceral need that had taken a hold of him.
He could not find it within him to care for her loss of hearing, in fact the only thing that had happened was a leap in his protectiveness towards her. With that knowledge, which Alfred had so carelessly thrown at him, and which had wounded the fragile beauty before him, he had realised the link between her and the ‘lady’ he had so insulted in his mind, and the irony was not lost upon him. Shaking his head at the very foolishness he carried within him, he focused upon the one important soul in the room at that very moment, the one for whom terror was in every single breath she took.
Her fingers clenched once more around his, and she licked her dry lips. Her eyes so wide and bringing a temptation to the scene he had not anticipated. But he tried his best to ignore that need; and to ignore the fact that Alfred was continuing to give him a look which he was sure Alfred would hope to kill him with. His focus, however, was completely on the English Angel before him. For nothing could divert his gaze from her at that moment, especially not a red hair, red faced mountain of English dirt. Sniffing a little just at the thought of the other male, and wishing he could be alone with Rohesia once more, having that relaxed smile spread slowly across her face. But neither could have that again until all the secrets were aired, no matter how soon it actually was for this to be aired.
It was a block between them, and he was not going to let it block the path for them completely. So he squeezed her hand back, though not enough to hurt, only to let her know he was there. And he sat back a little to listen, showing he was going nowhere, and that right at that moment, the only thing in his world…was her.
When she talked, she had no idea where to begin, and so starting where her father had always said to. She started at the beginning. Explaining about the illness which had taken her to the very edge which separated life from death. How she had teetered there for such a time that most thought she would perish, only for her to come out the other side of it one weak morn, the sunlight thin in the air as she had breathed her first in an utterly silent world. Which had stayed the same since.
She talked of how her life had changed dramatically in such a short space of time and as such how she had had to learn to hide her new status. How she had found a solace in the stables, away from her mother and through the serfs she encountered there, she had found a voice once more and an ability to live as part of the world which had changed so much for her, and yet carried on much the same for everyone else. Her relief of her new found voice must have shown on her face, as she was brought back to the present with the knowledge that she was not alone. Her fingers felt the pressure of Artair’s hand upon her own.
Flicking her eyes upon the male before her, his face alight with the stories she told. Though she had kept most of the terrible nature of her mother to herself, she knew that he had worked a few of her little slips out, and the knowledge was a tightness around his eyes that she recognised as a mirror of the way her father had looked when he had returned home to find her cowering in the corner of the stables. He had never said a word to her, his face showing his pleasure at seeing her, but all injuries were taken in by his eyes, the skin around them tightening, and then he had walked off. Her knowledge telling her that he would find her mother at that point, but after that she would have no idea what her father did, only that at the next meal her mother would sit demurely and she would be left well alone by her for some time to come.
A small smile tugged at her mouth at the similar tightness around Artair’s eyes. It told her just the kind of male he was, and she knew it was the mercy of God himself that she was able to find such a one when her need was so great.
With the deepest of breaths, she continued her tale. Ending of course, at the end…only it was not the end of her tale, only the end of her fathers. As she began a new tale in the Kingdom she could not yet reach, instead, she must carry on the story herself. The death of her father, caused a lump in her throat, and tears to prick her eyes. It was still to raw a memory, the acts still too soon for her soul to have healed by any semblance of the word. But she could and would make sure that she was telling this male the truth of it, for it felt a great weight even the thought of lying to him. So she told the truth of it, all up until the very moment of them in this room together, not allowing any to be left out, for all she knew Artair could come up with a solution which neither she nor Alfred had seen so far.
Not that Alfred was happy about how much she was telling Artair. But she used her lack of hearing to her advantage at that very moment. Ignoring all of the little gestures she could see from the corner of her eye coming from Alfred’s direction, all until she had spoken her last, and finally turned her head towards the wide eyes and pale face of the male who had protected her from the moment her father had passed into the arms of the Lord Almighty.
His lips pinched together, and his eyes spoke of the fact she could take nothing of what she had spoken back. But she felt nothing but relief at the fact she had spoken everything for the first time in her life. And to the only person she could ever imagine doing so with, even with as little as she knew him, she could think of no one else she would rather tell it too. No matter where their lives took them, this was one moment she would never regret. Alfred could not meet her gaze for long, and while he may not agree with her, he most definitely could do nothing more now, and so they both turned to the one who was the unknown.
Artair felt the weight of their stares as he absorbed everything he had been told so far. With a quick, cursory glance in the direction of Alfred, he summarily ignored him for the moment, as the most important person in the room, in fact in his life at that very moment, was still holding tightly to his hand…much to his secret delight. His thumb taking the chance to skim over her delicate knuckles, thought he could feel the iron heart of her beneath the smooth silk of her skin. The creamy milk of her complexion such a contrast to his rough tanned hands, even in this harsh winter, the sun still found a way to find his skin through his layers, leaving him just slightly lighter than the tan colour he turned from all the work he did out in the clan at the height of summer in the Highlands. Where the sun rarely set, with only a fleeting glimpse of the night, before the sun came forth once more.
He longed to see Rohesia in that Highland sun, bathed in it as she slept, warm and protected in his arms. It was a dream he longed for, and would make sure became a reality if it was the last thing he did. Not that he planned for that to happen, for he planned a very long life ahead of him, with this woman being the very centre of it. But he was getting ahead of himself once more.
“You are a lady then?” Her eyes had been on him long enough he knew she was waiting for him to speak, and now he knew of her, he could see the little darts of her eyes and the quick calculation in her mind, the tiny pause between his words and hers. His amazement at her ability and his protectiveness soared in union with each other. She shook her head, oblivious to the emotions surging within him. “Nay, not anymore.” He furrowed his brow at her words. But he did not have a chance to question, not when she continued on, marching ever forward.
“I gave up that birth right when I left in the dead of night. I do not wish to be a lady, never did, and when I lost my hearing, I lost my place in the hierarchy that is so specific. Well, I had a place, but was at the lowest of that position, was only valued for the price I would bring, and possibly any beauty they found in my face and body. My worth elsewhere had disappeared. Though my mother did think a male would like me as a wife as I would not prattle on as males hate so.”
His fingers tightened once more. Her mother was someone he would very much like to have serious words with. But at the very core of the entire tale she had told, it was the very core strength of Rohesia herself that he was stunned and yet not shocked by. Yet, how she saw herself was so utterly flawed he knew it could take a lifetime for her to see herself as he did. “I would not mind it you prattled on.” The slight tilt to her head made him know she was trying to work out if his words were a jest or not. It was at that very moment he realised that with a loss of hearing, so many ways of hearing people were lost. Not just words, but tone and even wit were lost forever. His throat hurt and eyes stung at a loss which should never have found such a bright and vibrant, yet so gentle a soul.
She only shook her head as if bemused by his words. It was at that very moment he took a look at Alfred. “I think I need to tell of my knowledge now. And I do believe you are going to have rather a lot to say on the matter.”