Chapter 21

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Chapter 21

               

                Perfection.

               

                One small, tiny, perfect, icily cold snowflake.

               

                Landing and staying so perfectly formed on the tip of a frozen finger. The finger completely ignored, as he could not tear his eyes from the tiny white flake. It slowly took what little warmth it could from him, and the tiny piece of perfection dissipated into non-existence. He felt his eyebrows furrow.

               

                Why did perfection never last long enough to keep his world in such a uniform pattern? He could not understand most of what went on around him. Well, he understood the facts and figures behind everything. But sometimes it was not enough. His mind got so confused over the way people talked and acted sometimes. They did not speak the truth and used words they did not mean. Instead they meant something completely different to what they had said, and laughed because of it.

               

                Most of the time he just let it wonder over his head, what else was he supposed to do? The few times people had taken it upon themselves to explain it to him, it had only made him more confused over why anyone would find it not only funny, but why they would even say it in the first place. He had even learnt not to appear as if he still did not understand. Whoever it was that was explaining usually kept him a lot longer, trying in more and more convoluted sentences of how he was not understanding the conversation. Each one making him more and more confused, and more convinced that he did not actually want to understand what was going on.

               

                Blowing out a breath, he watched as the snow that fell around him swirled in unpredictable patterns, while at the same time, that predictableness he so longed for was not needed because of the perfectness held within it. He knew Sheena or Aonghus would be out soon, they always made sure he was alright, and he was beginning to understand why they did. Not that he thought he deserved it, he knew who his real father had been and it was not someone who was good. He had hurt people, and he had heard what some people among the MacKay’s had said about him. The others around his age had begun to say similar things.

               

                He did not really care what they thought or did. All he cared about was that he did not let Sheena and Aonghus down. They believed there was something in him that was worth something. He may not see it, or feel it, or be able to ever live up to their expectations. But he could be a good boy for them. A flash of movement that was not white came from the corner of his eye, but he knew from the size of the shape and the colours she wore, she was safe. Sheena had obviously decided he had been out here too long. He did not mind that she wanted to look out for him, he just needed some time to try and sort through the extra trials from life that seemed to come his way.

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