Chapter 31

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Chapter 31

The snow was perfectly level, and the sun was bright in the cloudless sky. It was a rare day indeed. The freezing air was still and so was not comfortable to be in, but the beauty and the solitude was irresistible. It was peace, especially in a mind which had been so full it could not stop even when the night hours were well upon them all. Everyone else slept peacefully, whereas all that could be achieved with an active, fully running mind was nothing but frustration and a lot of tossing and turning, finding every lump in the bedding and unable to achieve any semblance of rest.

So any peace was welcome, even if it was appreciated by a hazy mind and blurred aching eyes. But the cool air was going someway to clearing the wool from her mind. It was a time she could finally try to work through the issues which had arisen, and try to figure out what to do next, even when she knew nothing could be done. It made her feel so useless and inadequate. What was the point in being able to see what was to come, when she could do nothing about it? Being so far away did nothing but cause a stress which was unhealthy, and while she knew it, she could not stop it.

The cold air burning as it raked its way up and down her throat. Her lungs expanding with the pain and it woke up her mind all the more. Letting her head fall back a little on her shoulders, she stared at the painfully clear sky. This was so much a rarity in these darkest of months, but she knew it was a façade. The cold would soon work its way into her system and she needed to be warm again soon, she would risk nothing of the life she held within her. She could not do anything to harm her child. It was something she could never go through again, and would do anything and everything in her power to make sure her child lived.

With a single, lonely tear sliding down her cheek, she let her grief free for a moment. The grief which lived within her heart, and would for the rest of her life, was overwhelming at times, but she could not indulge often. She had two wonderful bairns who were more than a handful. She was blessed by them, had never expected her life to be full of so much joy, yet that was also tinged by a sadness of what would never be for a daughter who had barely tasted life. Wiping quickly at the tear, she pulled her lower lip between her teeth as she pulled herself together once more. She would never forget, and that is what is important. Life could come and go, but it was the people who remembered that made it worthwhile. No matter the age, it was the impact left behind on those you love that make a life worth it.

It did not matter is people in hundreds of years remembered your name, for no matter what they knew of you, they would never know the true emotions and beliefs behind any actions. They would judge with a view of hindsight which could never be understood from the time they stood in this very moment. So who would want to be remembered by all for eternity? Those who were loved, and found love would be remembered by those who ultimately mattered, and then that love would be passed on to generations who would forget, as time allowed. We should not fear being forgotten, instead know that you lived with no regrets, or as little of them as possible, and know that the beliefs and values instilled in the next generation use them to better themselves and the world around them.

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