YOUR POV
"Hey? You okay?" I heard a familiar voice ask from behind me.
I turned around more angry than saddened and I looked right at my ex lover. She hesitantly leaned against one of the patio posts and I just rolled my eyes. I didn't know why but I was still very much upset with her from how we left off years back. I didn't know why she stayed all this time tonight, I didn't wanna see her. I was okay without her in my life.
"What?" I spat out and she just sighed to herself.
"I asked if you were okay." She just repeated with a look I knew too well.
"I'm just fuckin' dandy, Sophia." I clenched my jaw looking away and she just quirked up her eyebrow.
"Just as sarcastic as I remember." She tried to lighten things up a bit but it just pushed my buttons even further.
"Yep, whatever." I just huffed as I kept looking out over the land of our backyard.
Silence fell over us for a few long moments and each little second that passed I was just getting more upset. I wanted Camila, not her.
"So-"
"What the fuck are you even doing here, Sophia?" I just gave in and spat as I looked over my shoulder with my arms crossed.
She frowned slightly, "I always spend my holidays here... and you know that." She stared right into my eyes with a now irritated look.
"Just because you have a girlfriend now doesn't mean I'm gonna change my plans. This is my family too-"
"It's not." I snarled and she let out a breath, "Sticking up for me when we were younger and feeling more comfortable around them doesn't make you family. You were family."
"To you maybe." She glared with a soft expression on her face, "I know who my family is- why are you being such an ass?" She quickly cut herself off and I just rolled my eyes.
"Guess that will never change." She said in such a soft innocent voice but it was skin digging and I clenched my jaw.
It was like an instant flashback to when I was with her before, she would always and I mean always say the slickest shit then feign innocence. She was being "truthful" but she was just being a bitch. I knew I had a temper back then but, fuck, I knew I had grown from it. I grew a lot from being on my own and tasting freedom for myself. But hearing those words made me instantly turn to her and spit out what I had to say.
"Don't. Don't you dare act like you know who I am now. Don't you ever think you can determine if I've bettered myself or not- you don't get to decide that." I scoffed at her as I fully turned around now to face her.
"And she does?" She asked me then scoffed out a laugh, "You know what? I'm not here to argue with you. I needed to see if you were okay and you're blowing up at me when you should be blowing up at your own father."
"Whatever." I grumbled again and she just stared at me while I turned away.
"Why are you so mad at me?" She whispered after a couple moments and I just shook my head.
"What do you want, Sophia?" I asked as my head was faced away from her.
"I wanted to see if you were oka-"
"Soph." I firmly pressed and looked back at her again.
She sighed softly and looked down briefly, "I just wanted to talk to you." She admitted and I just closed my eyes to roll my eyes.
I didn't wanna talk right now if anything I just wanted to go away and not talk to anyone. Maybe Camila, she was the only one who could calm me down in a second. I was hoping her jealous little butt would come sliding through the door and bring me with her but she never came. Damnit, I knew she was mature enough to want Sophia and I to talk but I definitely wasn't at the moment. I didn't want to.
"What's there to talk about?" I kept up the stubborn act hoping she'd give up and walk away.
She was good at that.
"Y/N." She deadpanned and I just sighed out to release the tension in my shoulders.
"What?" I just gave up and she looked at me intently.
"I miss you." She suddenly mumbled and it made my heart drop because the instant fearfulness came over me.
I definitely didn't wanna hear that, I didn't want even more problems going on... especially with Camila. For someone who never got jealous she was the biggest fucking sensitive, jealous person I've ever met. I was the happiest I've ever been with Camila, I didn't need my ex saying this.
"Sorry to hear that." I mumbled back not knowing what else to say.
I didn't miss her. I really didn't, I had made new best friends who got me through a few obstacles and I had a new and improved girlfriend who loved me and wouldn't wanna lose me. As much as I used to reminisce on the days when I had Sophia... I could say I never think about her nowadays.
"I miss my best friend." She replied ignoring what I said causing me to look away from her prying eyes.
She really was gonna make me have a talk with her.
"We never got to talk things through... I don't think it's fair."
And at that I turned to her with a small frown to express my confusion right off the bat.
"What do you mean, fair?" I sucked the piece of meat that was stuck in my tooth and looked at her, "Us?"
She slightly shrugged and I shook my head wanting this to be over with already.
"Sophia.." I sighed loudly to keep my cool, "We ended. Not on the best of terms but in the end of the day... I wasn't secure with myself and I didn't wanna let you go."
"I don't know what you want me to say but if it helps... you're forgiven or whatever. I'm- I don't know Sophia-"
"Why'd you let me go?" She quickly asked and I frowned again.
"What? You broke up with me?"
"But you never spoke to me again." She looked me in my eyes and I could tell she'd basically rehearsed this before.
Did it affect her more than it did me?
"Do you not remember what happened that day?" I asked as I crossed my arms again due to the chill that blew against me.
"I-I do, I just never expected-"
"You broke up with me because I was too clingy." I recalled and I decided to keep going as she closed her mouth.
"Then proceeded to say that I would be nothing without you and it would be disgusting to continue to be with me. That being with you was ruining me and every shot I had to be someone successful because I was a nobody without you." I clenched my jaw and she looked down as I hoped she remembered all the shitty things she said.
"Even when I begged you not to let me go and just try the long distance you called me overbearing and needy. That I needed to go be by myself- and yeah, you were right on that. But everything else? You really destroyed a lot... but I didn't see it because you were everything to me. You put the stars in the sky... you were my hero but now..." I trailed off and looked her up and down as my voice started to waver with sadness.
"You got everything you ever wanted from me and then you let me go when I was just finally getting better. Then tore me down doing it." I wiped my nose and looked away as I shook my head.
"I loved you with everything that I had... and it wasn't enough." I mumbled causing her to stand down from her persistence.
"So yeah, I'm upset, because I felt taken advantage of and played and right now I feel like I'm meeting up with my bully that I used to love." I bit my lip and shook my head as she whispered,
"I'm so sorry."
"Yeah." I sniffled and just looked down at my shoes, "But I shouldn't be mad." I then looked over at her again.
I saw her eyebrows furrow in confusion and I just shrugged, "I wouldn't have pursued Camila and I wouldn't be in a happy place."
"Through all the pain and bullshit, you led me to her and everything happens for a reason. And Camila is my reason and I've never been so sure about something in my life." I smiled at the thought of my girlfriend and bit my lip.
"I'm not being clingy or anything but it just feels right with her." I let her know and she just shook her head.
"You were never clingy in the ways I acted like. I just wanted you to go live your life in a different place." She tried defending and I nodded as I leaned up against the post again, "I wanted you to experience everything coming your way with a new perspective."
Sure.
"Thanks, I guess." I gave her what she wanted anyway and she gave me a look.
"But I do wish I could take all those things I said back. I've learned from my mistakes and knowing how much I hurt you messes with me a lot. I never realized how much I needed you until you were completely gone from my life." She looked me in my eyes once again and I could see the waves of regret.
I nodded again as I itched the back of my head while I cleared my throat, "Look... it happened, we went our separate ways and we moved on. We're here now and we're both happy with our place in life right now- well, hopefully..." I paused as she laughed through her sadness, "I'm okay now, Soph." I mumbled and she took a tentative step closer.
But before she could get closer or to even try to hug me or anything I spoke up again, "So, if you miss me in a way that I can't reciprocate then please keep it to yourself. I really don't want anymore drama than there already is." I sighed and she stopped all movement and nodded.
"Yeah." She breathed out and I looked over at the door I came from.
"Goddamn sperm donor hasn't changed a bit- now he's the guy you wanna go after." I tried to lighten up the mood and she gave me a small smile.
"I got your back."
"As you always do." I innocently winked before stretching my arms out to get rid of the cold biting at my skin.
"I'm gonna head back in there though... maybe take a couple plates of food to my room." I informed her and she nodded as she remained a bit quieter than usual.
I wasn't gonna press on it though, I wanted to get away.
"I'll see you in the morning." I patted her shoulder and she let me leave through the door.
Instant warmth wrapped me up and I immediately felt so cozy and tired. Despite being hurt, angry, and hungry I just wanted to curl up in bed with Camila and just waste the night away. So, I walked with my shoes clicking with each step I took and entered the place I didn't wanna be in. I heard nothing but silence and the occasional utensil clinking against plates.
Awkward.
I realized Don, Sam and Camila weren't in their seats then noticed the way my father was positioned in his chair. His cold beer can against his head as he glared into his food. I turned to the kitchen and grabbed a few paper plates then proceeded on to get what I wanted. Then what Camila had on her plate so she had something to eat as well.
Eyes peering over at me while I ignored every single one of them and piled plates on top of each other with I got two sodas. I endured the awkward silence and I left to my room with my food.
Entering my safe haven with some struggle then seeing Camila covering her body with a tee shirt of mine. Her eyes wide as saucers and I giggled softly while I closed the door so no one could see. She sighed in relief as I locked the door and let the food down on my dresser. She slipped the shirt over her nude body and I tiredly laid down on my bed.
"You okay?" She asked me with a soft voice and I nodded with a small smile.
Like I said, one word from her and my body was at peace.
"You sure?" She asked me as she wrapped her hair up in a messy bun.
"I'll be fine." I looked up at her as she made her way to me.
She slid across me until she was resting on my lap and I looked over at the food resting on my dresser.
"I got you some more food." I told her what she already knew and she hummed.
"Mhm... baby." She called for me and I raised my eyebrows at her while my hands smoothly rested on her bare thighs.
"I don't want food right now, I wanna know how you are." She grabbed my hands and I just shrugged.
"Same thing I've dealt with for years so it's not a huge surprise to know he hasn't changed. Trust me, I'm fine." I leaned up to give her a small kiss and her hands came up to play with the hairs on the back of my neck.
"And Sophia?" She asked I almost laughed at how every time she said her name it was as if she tasted something unappealing.
"We're good... I'm good." I smiled up at her to let her know I wasn't lying.
She then squinted her eyes at me causing me to laugh softly before kissing her lips again, "I'm just gonna eat in my bed with my beautiful girl and fall asleep to some movies. Sound good?" I questioned as I pulled her up against me so I wouldn't have to let her go.
"Sounds like what we do on a regular basis." She giggled and I stood up with her wrapped around me and I picked up my plate.
She eventually let herself down after a couple seconds and danced in her spot when she peeled back the paper plate covering her food. The shirt flowing down her back, barely covering her ass and I couldn't help but just grab it. Her dancing stopped and I watched her head turn while she gazed at me over her shoulder.
"That is not a bun on your plate, Ms. Y/L/N."
"Could be." I smirked before breaking out into a breathy laugh.
"What movie we watching?" She asked me as she turned back around to pick at her food.
I continued to rest my head on her shoulder and have my hands on her butt. I sighed to myself and shrugged, "I dunno." I then yawned tiredly.
My family was draining.
She turned back around with a swipe of her tongue across her lips to get rid of the excess sauce. I smiled softly at her while she looked me up and down.
"Okay, you're off... I know you're not just fine." She looked me in my eyes and I just shrugged.
"I just wanna go back home." I admitted and she nodded gently.
"I can't wait to get on that plane tomorrow and just forget today. I don't wanna talk to anyone but you because everyone else pisses me off." I conversed again and she just listened intently.
"I don't think I've ever felt so damn nervous and it's all because I don't want you seeing that... from my family. You know?- I don't know, I just don't want you thinking anything...weird or anything different."
"Different how?" She softly smiled and it comforted me a lot to know she wasn't thinking what I was assuming.
"The only pity I'll give you is... uh well, your dad is a huge asshole and I'm sorry for that. I can't relate to that- oh, that sounds like such a dick thing to say I'm sorry." She quickly apologized and I couldn't help but laugh to myself.
"It's fine." I giggled and she sighed before grabbing my cheeks softly but firmly.
"Look, there's nothing in this world that'll make me think of you as less than. Unless you're like a serial killer and... even then I might think you're hot." She admitted and then bit her lip, "Yep. Even then."
"So morbid." I snickered and she pulled me in by my cheeks just to give me a long peck as she hummed.
"Muah!" She exasperated once she peeled back from me and I wet my lips with a laugh.
"Now pick a movie please." She kissed my lips once more and I stepped back to sit at my bed.
I bit my lip as I looked up from my phone and watched her do her little dance again as she picked at her food again. Yeah, I was really in love with her and it was definitely nothing like a relationship like Sophia and I's. But as always instead of acting out like love sick fool I stayed to myself and pulled Netflix up on my phone.
It was my time to finally relax.
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I was kinda stuck on one part so I just deleted it and am posting what I had. The rest will be next chapter whenever I can write that.
But I hope y'all enjoyed and if you didn't then you're a burnt cunt biscuit🥰
Have a great day or night beautifuls x
- Maddie
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