"So, you really wanna know, huh?"
"Yea . . :) . ."
"Alright . . hand me my purse"
He turns around and looks for my purse. He gets it and hands it to me with confustion. I open my purse and look for something . . he's watching me, waiting impatiently to find out what's about to happen . . haha. . what I have in mind is crazy but it's gonna be woth the laugh . . . that's for sure.
"You see this little pink baggy?"
He nods. "Yea? . ."
"That's my makeup bag. . ."
He laughs . .
"Oh, so you wanna put makeup on me? bring it on! no problem! I'll do it!"
"Wait, wait . . not so fast babyface . . I'm not just gonna put the makeup on you, we will also leave the house with it . . ."
"Sweetheart . . In case you never noticed, I do wear eyeliner every day"
"I know sweetiebear . . . but I don't think you ever wore purple eyeshadow and a rosy pink blush with it . . and a candy pink lipgloss with glitter to go with it . . ."
"You're kidding me, right? . . ."
"No, I'm not . . . if you wanna know the juicy details, you will do it"
"That's so mean . . how can you do this to me??"
I laugh . . .
"Will you do it?"
"Is there anything else you want? . . come on . . this is embarrassing!"
"I know . . but you gotta do it if you want me to talk about it . . ."
He pauses for a second . .
"Where do you want us to go? . . ."
"Wawa . . walmart . . sephora . . we'll see . . ."
"You're joking, right? . . I'll let you put the makeup on me but I don't wanna go to all those places . . I'm your husband . . if you're making me do all that you're gonna embarrass yourself, missy . . ."
"No, I'm gonna be the one right beside you filming you and the people's reactions"
"You're kidding, right?. . . and what are you gonna do with the video? put it on youtube or what?!"
"No . . . I'll keep it for my and Felicia's and Carli's entertainment . . .and my parents' and your parents' . . and maybe our new neighbours' . . and maybe the mailman . . . ."
"Never in a million years! . . no, Ariana . . forget it . . that's too much!"
"Alright . . . . I guess you don't wanna know then . . ."
"Of course I wanna know!!!! . . . why are you so mean to me? I'm your husband . . . can't I do something else? . . do I really have to leave the house with it?. . . you're too hard on me, Ariana. . I'm a man . . I don't wear pink and purple makeup!! all I wear is black eyeliner and that's it! . . people will think I'm gay . . or worse, a tranny!! . . . this is just too much and you know it is . . ."
"Honey . . . you either do it or you don't . . . ."
He sits down on the bed letting out a long sigh . .
"You're really gonna make me do this, huh? . . but I want details!! . . I want you to write it down on a paper for me . . word by word, detail by detail . . and a little drawing next to the writing may help my imagination . . I want a whole page, Ariana . . ."
"I don't think there was a whole page worth of aciton going on, honey . ."
"I don't care . . half a page then . . . I want something for this . . ."
"Alright . . . so will you do it?"
"Fine . . . I'll do it . . because I love you . ."
I laugh. . .
"No, you do it because you're a hornybear!"
I open my make up bag with a huge grin on my face.
"Alright love . . . wake up to makeup!"
____________
Michael just drove the kids to his parents' house. I'm waiting here in the bathroom, getting ready all the stuff to put on his face . . . this will be so damn funny . . . I can taste it . . I already put up the camera . . I will film the makeover too . . he will have no idea . . and when we go outside, I'll grab the camera and pretend I just started filming . . . this will be so hilarious. . . the kids will stay the night at his parents' house . . this gives us a little time for each other . . . my hands are shaking, I'm so excited about this . . . I will literally piss my pants, I know it . . . once we enter the mall I will crack up and pass out from laughing so hard . . . I wish Felicia was here . . but she will see it in the video when I show her . . .
15 minutes later Michael comes back home . . . the look on his face is so damn cute!! he hates this idea but he lets me do it anyway because I'm so excited about it . . . his pouty face and sorry eyes make me wanna grab him and pinch his cheeks but there's no time for this now . . . it's time to put the makeup on him! xD . .
"Welcome back, Michela . . ."
"Don't you . . EVER . . call me that again!!!"
I laugh. .
"I'm sorry but this is too funny . . . come on, baby . . let's go to the bathroom . . I set everything up already . . you will look so pretty . . . especially with the purple eyeshadow and you know what? I will put some green in it too . . it will go great with your eyecolor . . haha"
He rolls his eyes . . .
"You're having too much fun with this, Ariana . . ."
"I know . . HAHA!"
He sits down on the edge of the whirlpool and I start with the foundation. . . Michael's skin is flawless as it is, I don't really need foundation but if I'm gonna put makeup on him I'm gonna make it right!
"Close your eyes"
He closes one eye and watches me open the eyeshadow palette with the other.
"Close your eyes! I can't put the eyeshadow on your lid with your eyes open!"
"But not too much . . just a light brush and that's it . . ."
"Yea, you wish! . . I'm gonna make it purple enough for everyone to see!"
"NO! . . please . . this whole idea is embarrassing enough!"
"Alright, alright . . I'll put on a light dust . . now close your beautiful eyes"
30 minutes later I'm done with the whole makeover . . . I can't stand straight, I'm laughing too hard . . my stomach muscles ache so bad . . Michael looks so funny . . the purple eyeshadow, the pink blush . . . the pink, glittery lipgloss . . this is too much . . . I can't keep it together. .
"You look so pretty my dear . . . ."
"Stop it Ariana . . now, can I look in the mirror??"
"No . . . you can look at yourself in the car . . ."
"No . . . I wanna look at myself now!"
"No you can't! . . . I don't want you to chicken out . . .I know you will if you see yourself like this . . I warn you, baby . . I put a lot on you . . but it's not that bad . . it really isn't" . . . *laughs*
"Yea right . . I look like a freak, don't I??"
"A pretty one though . . ."
"Ariana you owe me sex for this too . . . you know that, right?"
"Hey! . . we never talked about sex . . ."
"But I am right now, you will let me do you hard . . in this whirlpool . . later on when we get back home, I promise you that . . . that's the least you can give me for this . . . I'm humiliating myself for your entertainment, don't forget that . . . ."
"No, honey . . you're humiliating yourself for your own entertainment"
"Alright . . can we go now? I really just wanna get this this over with . . ."
"Alright Miss Jackson. . . let's go!"
"Don't do that!!!!! I will stay home and you will have nothing to laugh!!!"
"Alright, alright . . sorry . . I'll say no more" . . . *laughs*
I grab my purse and open the door . . Michael is hesitating . . he's sitting on the couch with that sad look on his face . . . I just can't keep it together . . this is the funniest thing ever . . .
"Come on baby . . . let's go"
"Ariana . . . I'm scared . . ."
"Don't be scared . . . I'll be right by your side to protect you from all the horny guys out there"
"Alright, that's it!!! I'm not gonna do it!!!"
"Baby, nooooo . . come on . . I'm sorry! . . I'll shut up now. . ok?"
He grabs his car keys and runs to the car . . he opens the door and literally jumps inside, hoping no one saw him . . . enough people will see him at the mall . . he better get used to the makeup on his face. We're both in the car now . . . Michael is looking at himself in the mirror for the first time . . .
"OH MY HEAVENLY GOD!!! . . I look like a FREAK!! you can't be serious about this!!!! . . you can't be . . this is too much . . look at me!!!! I look horrible . . what did you do to my face?!!"
"You look good honey . . ."
"No, I don't!!! . . you know, I could get arrested for this. . . ."
"No you will not! . . you're crazy . . now let's go . . ."
"I'm so gonna get you back for this . . ."
"Yea . . you want your juicy letter . . you're getting it . . . and you know what? we can check out the new sushi place at the mall . . they opened a new one right next starbucks"
"Don't you even think about it!! . . I will not sit down with you in a restaurant looking like this! you're pushing it, Ariana . . this is not funny anymore, it's starting to become torture . . . for real . . ."
"Alright, alright . . no restaurant . . just quick shopping, ok?"
"Ok . . . ."
"I can't believe you're doing all this just to find out the stupid juicy details . . . are you really that hot for girl on girl action? . . for real now . . does that turn you on so bad?"
"To be quite honest, yes . . I do find it hot . . but I also do it to make you laugh"
"Yea right . . . ."
_______________
We're at the mall now . . . Michael is walking behind me with the most embarrassed look on his face. I'm holding the camera filming every bit of it . . . I admit, this is kinda mean but it's funny as heck . .
"Ariana . . I hate myself right now . . ."
I put the camera down for a second and give him a kiss on the cheek.
"Baby . . just think about the funny reactions we will get on camera . . make it a positive thing. . we'll have a funny memory to show the kids when they're older . . . and for us . . just imagine how hard we will laugh about this in a couple of years . . ."
___________________________
A FEW YEARS LATER . . .
"Jaylah!!!!" I yell from the doorstep . . she's still in the bathroom doing her hair . . I can't believe how long it takes her do to her hair . . she's such a diva . .
"Chill mom! you know my big hair needs time . . it doesn't perfectify itself"
We get in the car and drive to the mall. I'm taking Jaylah shopping for her birthday this weekend. She's turning 16 and Michael and I are gonna throw her a huge sweet 16 party at home . . . the house is big enough for all of Jaylah's and Jaden's friends and we're both happy that they're doing this at home rather than a party place that we don't even know . . . . Michael is overprotective . . he would never let Jaylah go out partying without checking out the place first . . . and even then he hates letting her go out at night . .
"Mom . . I really want that tight black dress I saw the other day. . . I saw a similar one on Beyonce and she looked fab!!"
"You're gonna get a nice dress but you know dad has to be ok with it . . ."
"Are you f*cking kidding me? . . ."
"Don't use the F word with me, Jay . . or you can say goodbye to your sweet 16 party, I'm dead serious!!!"
"Ugh . . sorry . . . but really? why does dad have to be ok with my dress? I'm 16 years old, I'm not a baby anymore . . ."
"You're still very young and you know how dad is . . he just wants the best for you"
"No . . he wants to annoy me . . . ."
"He wants to annoy you because he loves you . . ."
"Mom . . can we please get that hot black dress and hide it from him? . . can we buy two? . . you know, a good girl one with flowers to show him and the hot black one for me to actually wear?"
"No, Jaylah . . . ."
~ to be continued ~