Before this chapter starts I just want to thank you all for 20k! I started this book because I had read every single Stiles fanfic out on wattpad and decided to give my own a try but now I continue to write it so all of my readers have a distraction and something to look forward to everyday. You all have given me a chance to make something of myself and continue fighting for what I want. And hitting 20k has given me that push once again. I know I alway say the same thing but I truly mean it when I say I love you all so freaking much and I couldn't imagine my life without all you wonderful readers out their. With that being said I hope you enjoy the next two chapters!
DON'T PLAY SONG NOW!
Stiles POV
"Baby" I whispered under my breath as my eyes wander over Y/n's body.
"H-hey." Her forced smile says it all as her eyes well up with tears.
"W-what are you doing here?" The instinct to reach out and engulf her in a hug is too tempting as I was to worried about her all night.
"That's...um a long story." Y/n's gaze looks back down at her fidgeting hands while memories of last night flood back into my mind.
"Stiles?"
"Yeah it's me, open up." The door cracks open just enough for Lydia to embrace me into a tight hug while she sobs. And almost suddenly the banging noise coming from the back door is heard across the house.
"Lydia." Jackson sings.
"I-are you okay? Are you hurt?" Shaking my head to rid the memory my eyes scan Y/n's body for any injuries.
"I'm fine Stiles." With my trembling lips and hands I can't help but grip her shoulders and pull her into an embrace.
"I'm sorry angel, I'm so sorry." My tears practically wet her shirt while her hands are restricted to her sides. "Where were you last night. I checked everywhere. Hell I even checked here three times last night." I pull away from her and look down.
"Allison let me crash at her place last night."
Allison's place was the first thing I went too.
Closing my eyes tight I simply nod my head and let the lie she just told me wash away. "How are you doing?" Shifting my gaze back to Y/n's I stand taller at the question I didn't expect to get.
"I could be better." Nodding her head I tap my foot on the gravel anxiously. "Look I don't understand why you're here, or why you are in front of me and I understand if you don't want to talk to me but I do and I want to explain everything."
"Okay." She gulps down some saliva and flutters her eyes at me.
"Okay?" I ask and just like that I get a nod in return. Taking my hand out from my pocket I reach for Y/n's hand and clasp it within my own before pulling her into the direction of "our spot".
Once we are sitting down I fidget with my fingers as I try to figure out what I want to say. "Stiles."
"Mmh."
'I'm-" Furrowing my brows at the girl right next to I shake my head. "No don't you dare apologize for my mistakes."
"But-"
"No Y/n I screwed up and I shouldn't have done that to you. You were right, I should have told you what happened because God knows I would want you to be as open and honest with me too. Lydia is going through some stuff right now and she's alone half the time scared out of her mind. Her mom left to go on vacation while her dad hasn't been home since the beginning of time. You have to remember before you and I started to go out Lydia was our friend; in fact Scott and I were her only friends. I know I don't have to remind you of that because angel you were on the sidelines watching it all play out. And I hope you can find it in your heart to understand why I have to continue being their for her."
"Permission to speak." I nod my head "I don't understand why you want to help her after everything she has put you through. Lydia's caused unforgettable pain and it's not something that can just go away." Shrugging my shoulders I let out a deep breath before putting my head in between my hands.
"I can't hold onto that pain forever N/n because I've moved on to something greater. " Tilting my head I smile at my beautiful girlfriend.
"Can we be honest with each other for now on, I don't like the feeling that something is wrong." Getting up from my spot on the rock I move closer to her and take a seat beside Y/n. I wrap an arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side to kiss the top of N/n head.
"Why didn't you tell me I love you last night." She was stunned and caught off guard when she whips her head in my direction.
"What?"
"Last night when we were on the couch I told you I love you and you just sat their looking at me acting as though I was insane"
Y/n's eyes flutter closed before she takes a deep breath "I don't know."
Squinting my eyes at her I pull away from her. "What do you mean you don't know?"
"It means I don't know Stiles." Her eyes never meet my own; almost as if she's afraid of what may come of it.
"That's not fair." I try to keep my voice at a low volume as I remain calm.
"Stiles-"
"No I don't want to hear it, I just confessed everything that has been happening lately after you forced it out of me only for you to say minutes later lets be honest." Running a hand through my hair I put my head in between my legs and let out a deep breath.
"Stiles-" I cut her off once again as the tears well in my eyes.
"You don't understand how much that hurt me. You will never understand the moment your heart stops when your girlfriend doesn't gaze in your direction with the same kind of love and affection waving in her eyes. You'll never understand the sudden pause my heart made when you didn't return it back. The unwelcoming feeling of fear you almost have towards me. It hurt like-"
Her head instantly whipped in my direction with a glare evident in her eyes.
"You don't get to say how much it hurts! I do, I am the only one who's allowed to express the lack of affection around here Stiles. I swear every night I cuddle closer to you, you find a way to distance yourself throughout the night. Every goddam time I try to run my fingers through your hair, y-you back away from me! You want to know why I didn't say it back? It's because I don't know if you even feel the same way anymore. When I say it I feel like I'm being manipulate into something that doesn't exist anymore. I'm scared that every time I say it you're thinking of her and I've tried to ignore this gut feeling for awhile now but it has become so overpowering theses last few weeks that I don't feel comfortable saying it anymore. And hell I knew the very second I forgave you...the very second I told you I loved you that day everything wouldn't exactly fall back into place."
The two of us don't try to hide our tears as Y/n has a hard time choking out the truth behind her words while my heart hammers against my chest. My hands tremble because I didn't realize how much I have been distance with her lately. They tremble because I know what has been done and how she truly feels about everything.
Did she really think their was nothing left between us?
"Baby come here" I too choke out a sob as I open my arms for her to embrace me. Wiping underneath her eyes she nods her head and tightly grabs onto me before crying into my shirt. "Everything will piece itself together again because it's us and we will always figure out a way to make it work. I do love you Y/n...maybe even more than I love myself and not one single day goes by were my mind doesn't wander over to what you are potentially doing in that moment. I know you deserve better than me, but I cannot let you slip away because I don't know what life is without you. And I've already told you about Lydia." I kiss the top of her head before I pull her face away from my chest and kiss her lips. "I love you angel." I wipe the falling tears with the pads of my thumb and lean down to kiss underneath her eyes.
"Stiles I-"
"It's okay I understand." Nodding her head she kisses my lips once more before standing up and extending a hand.
"Let's go home."
*****************
"Why don't you pick out a movie for the two of us while I quickly shower."
"Alright, just hurry up." Watching me walk alway I grin before shutting the door.
"Lyds stay behind me."
"Awe look at Stilinski trying to protect the whore. It just makes the whole situation even more sentimental."
Rolling my eyes I clench my jaw tightly and huff out a breath. "What do you want jackass?"
"Lydia over their still has the key to my house, I just thought I would come back for it." Something wicked flickers in his eyes as he takes a step towards us.
"I already gave you the key Jackson." Lydia says over my shoulder.
"That's right...well now that I'm here why don't the two of us take this part upstairs." The shaky breath Lydia releases is felt against my back when I leap forward and tackle Jackson onto the ground.
"You're not taking her anywhere dickhead!" Jackson laughs a cold and wicked laugh before punching me in the jaw.
"Get off of me Stilinski!" I raise my hands in defeat before standing and punching Jackson twice as hard in the face.
"If you don't get off this property in the next minute their will be five police cars waiting outside for your pathetic ass."
"You're bluffing.'" He stands up from the ground and walks right up to my face.
"I could be or they could be on their way right now." Waving my phone in his face Jackson squints his eyes at me and walks back out the back door.
Immediately I twist my body around and place a hand on either side of Lydia's arms. "Lyds."
"I'm fine, a little shaken up but I'm okay." Inhaling a breath I pull her into a hug and rest my chin on top of her head."Stiles I hate to ask this of you but can you stay for a little while."
"I-I...Lyds" Shaking my head I pull away from her and look her in the eyes "Sure for little while." She takes my hand within her own before leading me upstairs and into her room. Once we get warm underneath the blankets Lydia snuggles up next to me and lets out a fearful whimper. "You're okay Lyds I've got you."
Y/n is going to murder me if she ever finds out.
Closing the water off I wrap a towel around my waist and make my way over to the mirror.
Your POV
After countless minutes of searching for a movie I finally give up and lay out three options for Stiles to choose from. Flopping down on the mattress I hear a ding erupt from my phone. Letting out a groan I turn my body slightly and pick it up within my hands before clicking it open to see the unfamiliar background.
"Who's phone was that?" Fumbling with the device in my hand I lean forward to place it back on the bedside table when I notice Scott's name across the screen. I allow myself to relax a little that is until the door to the bathroom opens and I side his phone into my back pocket.
"It was mine sorry." Smiling he walks around his room with only a pair of brown jeans on while he approaches his dresser. My eyes never leave his bare back as I scan over all the small depths along his shoulder blade and spine. Stiles seems to notice my staring as he turns around and makes his way towards me.
"What?"
"Nothing." I take a small piece of my lip between my teeth and bite down slightly to hide my smile.
"Mmh is that so?" I nod my head and sit up as he leans down closer to my face. His soft lips hover over my own while my hands make their way up to slowly cup his face. The two of us look between each others eyes before he presses his lips against my own; allowing me to let out a moan. "Already?" Stiles smirks at me while he's an a uncomfortable position.
"Hey I haven't seen this side of you in awhile, it's not my fault that their has been no affection lately." Feeling my cheeks begin to heat up in embarrassment I look down at my lap.
"Than tonight's all about you." Stiles caresses my cheek to make me look at him.
"Really." I bite my lip
"Mmh I will make all your desires happen."
"All?" He nods his head.
"Well maybe not all but anything."
"Even?" He sits down in front of me and lifts me up onto his lap. "Yes." Just as I'm about to open my mouth he leans in and kisses me. I allow myself to wrap my arms around his neck to bring him closer as Stiles's hands move down along my back. I tug on his hair slightly when Stiles's lips travel down my neck and along my chest.
Leaning my head back in bliss I feel Stiles's hands reach my ass. The hard squeeze makes me jerk my body forward and grind against him as I moan in the process.
"Y/n?"
"Hmm" For the third time Stiles pulls away from me making me groan. "Sti-" And their in his hands is the very phone I tried to hide. "I-um"
Stiles shakes his head"Their is nothing to be worried about angel I have nothing to hide, but next time just ask okay." Fluttering my lashes at him I nod.
"I thought it was my phone but when I picked it up I panicked. I'm sorry."
"No I get it you're just paranoid, don't stress about it though."Stiles smiles broadly at me before gripping my ass to lay us down and almost instantly, like a second nature to me I wrap my legs around his waist to bring him closer to me.
Giggling I push his jaw to the side and begin to travel my lips down his neck while my hands tugs at Stiles's hair roughly. Releasing a breathy moan he grinds into me when his calloused hands start to trail up underneath my shirt, that is until I flip us over and press rough kisses against his lips. The need and desperation for each other makes Stiles tugs on my the thin material of my shirt almost unnoticeable until they become more needy. Parting ways shortly I yank my shirt off my body before throwing it somewhere around the room and reconnecting with Stiles. With my own hands I scratch his bare chest and run my lips down the middle of his chest.
"Y/n?"
"Mmm."
"I-I need to tell you something before anything else progresses." Immediately my head shoots up while I search his eyes.
"Did you sleep with Lydia?" At this Stiles begins to shake his head rapidly and leans out his elbows.
"What no! Why would you ever think that?!" Shrugging my shoulders I flare my hands around us.
"It was the first thing I could think of." Just when I lean in again Stiles dodges me.
"I still haven't told you." His hands move down to my waist as he stills my movements
"Stiles as long as you're not sleeping with her you don't have to tell me anything." I place a hand to the side of his cheek for reassurance.
"Yes but-" Shaking my head I wrap my arms around his neck.
"I trust you Stiles and although I do have my doubts sometimes I know you would never do anything to hurt me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes now come on and take me." Arching a brow in surprise. "I mean if you don't-" Cutting me off Stiles flips us over and grinds his hips into me once more before he cups my breast in one hand and palms it against the material. My mouth forms into a "Oh" as the pressure between my legs starts to build and quiver under his simple touch when he starts to round the pad of his thumb against my nipple through the black bra. Almost instinctually my fingers claw at his bare skin and hook onto his belt loops to bring him closer to me. Both his legs fit perfectly between my own as his body rocks on top of me I rub myself against his member to create friction. Continuing to palm my breast Stiles connects our lips back together only for him to glide his tongue along my lower lip requesting access to the inside of my mouth. And without a second thought I open my mouth just enough for our tongues to fight dominance while Stiles's other hand begins to palm my right breast this time.
A moan is release upon my lips as my hips create a buckle movement, I try to squeeze my legs together but Stiles quickly slams a hand on my thigh to keep them open. "Baby tell me what you want." His lips leave mine once again as they travel along my chest. I grip his belt buckle and start to undo it when Stiles places a hand on top of mine. "I want you to say it...no scream it." Stiles hot breath is felt when he whispers against my ear as the pad of his lip gazes my lobe.
"I want-" I gulp down some saliva and squeeze my eyes tight from the insatiable feelings.
"What do you want angel." Stiles's voice becomes raspy as his hands rub up and down along my smooth skin.
"I want you to take them off." Fluttering my eyes open Stiles momentarily breaks apart and strips away from the annoying jeans. Once the piece of clothing is flung across the room Stiles dips down to unclasp my bra with one hand and that too is discarded quickly before his mouth attaches itself to the smooth nipple.
"Stiles." I moan as I tightly wrap my legs around his waist to bring him closer to me. My red fingertips move up to his dark brown hair as I tug slightly on his short locks. His mouth moves to my other breast as the feeling of his tongue moving in circles exhilarates inside me. The fast pulsing coming from below me immediately brings me to groan in pleasure as I sink my head back into the pillow. Slowly but dangerously Stiles trails his lips down to my stomach as his soft lips bring me to bite down on my lips to surpass another moan when the beautiful man in front of me looks up asking for permission to take off my joggers. Nodding my head Stiles hooks his fingers to each side before pulling them down and allowing it to pool at my ankles as he quickly takes my foot out of each hole and throws it carelessly.
Now more than ever the desire to have him is more overpowering as I start to become wet. I once again rub myself against his groin to give the desire friction I need in order to create pleasure; only Stiles pushes my hips back down and crawls half way up until he is in front of my region. His hot breath is felt against it as he kisses either side of my legs until Stiles reaches the middle point.
"Stiles I swear-" Letting out a groan I clench my teeth and buckle my hips up when he pulls down my underwear and shoves one finger inside me.
"Sorry what were you saying." Glaring at him I moan as his speed begins to increase. My legs begin to feel a heavy pressure as I have the urge to close them again, but Stiles's hands prevent it from happening. Unexpectedly he shoves his second finger inside me and starts to pump inside as the pad of his thumb presses onto my clit to rub it up and down.
Squeezing my eyes tightly I grip the sheets when Stiles begins to run tender kisses up my body; definitely leaving a few purple marks in the process. Another moan escapes my lips when he presses his mouth firm against mine.
" You're so wet for me Y/n" His other hand is pressed onto my hip while my hand manages to catch a grip on his face.
"Faster" I breath out and buckle my legs up just a little bit higher when Stiles obeys and his slow but steady movements turn faster in the matter of seconds. His fingers map around as he begins to hit my g-spot and slide right back down. "Stiles!" I scream as my chest rises up and down. I can already feel myself ready to release when Stiles looks up at me, amusement written across his face at the sound of my scream. I move my region against his fingers as he continues to pump inside me. But just as I'm starting to feel my high increasing Stiles removes his fingers. I whimper at the sudden lost of his fingers that were just inside me. Glancing up at him I grip his hand to put them back but Stiles shakes his head.
"Not yet baby." He whispers as his lips trail down my neck. The rapid pulsing between my legs begins again as Stiles's hard member rubs itself against my region through his black boxers. The two of us together moan loudly as my teeth gazes Stiles's neck. His lips move back to my mouth as his tongue teases my lower lip. I smirk against his lips before tugging his bottom lip between my teeth and lowering my arms down to his ass. He moans into my ear before speaking. "I want you to come undone in my mouth when I tell you too"
My eyes widen in surprise at his sudden choice of words before I gulp down some bile. The shaking of my legs bring me to nod as Stiles dips his head down between my legs. I shift my weight further up on the mattress at the sudden feeling of his breath against me while my heart beats against my chest rapidly as I want nothing more than for him to shove his fingers back into me. The lust filled air brings me in a rocking mess as the sudden urge to feel his tongue lap around me has me breathing effortlessly. Lifting his head slightly I watch as his eyes roam over my entire body hungrily before he grips both my legs and drags me back down. Stiles grips my left leg first and swings it over his shoulder as he does the same thing to my right leg. Now both of my legs hang around his neck while the pulsing inside me increases again.
No matter how many fights, no matter how many times I have sex with this man I will always get butterflies in my stomach at the sight of him.
Bowing down his head the feeling of his tongue against my clit brings my hips to buckle up and spring higher into his face. His moan makes me moan as it vibrates in me. It's almost as though Stiles's read my mind as his tongue maps itself inside me while his is grip on my waist becomes tighter. I move my hips in the same rhythm his tongue makes I feel my legs begin to tremble. "S-stiles I can't-" I moan and squeeze my eyes again.
"Not just yet." He grumbles into my region before biting down onto my clit. At this I jerk my body up as I feel myself getting more wet when I moan. "Look at me." Stiles demands while his tongue continuously twirls around it. I force my eyes open and look down at Stiles's face between my legs while his eyes were already focused on me. He momentarily pulls his face away before plunging both fingers inside me instantly and hits my spot with force for a minute straight. His devilish smirk allows me to comb my fingers through his hair as I groan out loudly. The temptation to close my eyes sting as they become watery with the overwhelming pressure. "I love it when you're wet for me." He moans against my leg while he begins to place love bites onto my bare skin.
The lust that overcomes the air is everything I have missed these past few weeks, this moment was everything I ever needed. The desire and wholeness I feel when he's besides me enlightens my existence just by a simple touch or word. In this moment I felt like I had nothing else to worry about as it has always been Stiles and I against the world. But even if my mind isn't in the right place I will refuse to say I love you because of the constant growing fear.
I was suddenly broken out of my thoughts when Stiles's fingers move rapidly once again which creates my body to rock against them. "Stiles-"
"Come for me baby." Exhaling a breath I watch as he aligns his face back down when I release. Almost as if his tongue has memorize every piece of me it maps around as he cleans me out. The small beats of sweat are evident on both our foreheads when I feel myself leak down my leg. Stiles lets out a soft moan when he's finished as he removes my legs from around his neck and climbs up to kiss me on my lips. Allowing for me to taste myself on him while I cup his face within my hands. Pulling apart from me he bows his neck into the crook of my neck before whispering "I love you Y/n." Running my hands up and down his back I smile.
"Mmh." Stiles looks back at my eyes before flopping onto his back and pulling the comforter up against my naked body. My arms instantly snake around my waist as my heartbreak slows down to its normal pace.
Stiles and I have done a lot of things during sex but he has never ate me out. It was a stranger but pleasant unfamiliar feeling as I can still feel the presence of his hot breath against my region. Stiles looks over at me and instantly leans on his elbows.
"You okay?" Turning my head towards him I smile.
"Mmh."
"D-did I do something wrong?" His eyes search over me before he grabs my hand.
"Stiles this isn't the first time we did it." My hand reaches up to press against his cheek.
"I know but I still want you to be comfortable." Pouting my lips I kiss him and gaze into his eyes.
He's making it really hard for me not to say I love you right about now.
"And I will always appreciate it baby."
"So-" His eyebrows wiggle together as my cheeks become hot at the slick mention of our new act.
"I'm just going to get some water." Kissing the top of my head he mumbles.
"I can get it for you."
"No it's okay I have to get something else anyways." Nodding in his in some sort of disappointment I kiss his lips before tugging the bed sheets around me to cover myself up when I go downstairs. The feeling of his hand colliding with my ass brings to jump and look back at Stiles grinning.
Laughing I shake my head "I hate you."
"No you love me." Suddenly my laughs stop as I quickly discard his comment.
"I'll be back."
Third person POV
The small fragile girl walks down the stairs into the kitchen while she directs herself near the fridge to get her glass of water like promised. While the girl fills up her cup she contemplates about her little secret she has yet to tell Stiles. Between the hospital visit and the small book just a few feet away it makes her anxious at the consequences and risks she has to take in order to tell Stiles. After filling her cup Y/n makes her way towards the couch were her black leather bag sat.
The thought about her journal or diary how ever you might call it lying protectively away from others brings her mind to run at the idea of Y/n showing him one page. Pulling out her journal from the leather bag she quickly skims through the neatly written pages as she tries to find the perfect passage; as she thought back to the memories they have had. Others may think she was over reacting about something so small like his parting after graduation but to her it is a big deal. Y/n hasn't had time to really think about it until now.
She would no longer have her brother who would be their every awaking moment of her day and she would no longer have her true love to hold onto when she is vulnerable.
"Y/n!" Stiles whines from upstairs.
"Yes!"
"Come back to me!" His head was stuffed in between pillows as he hates the absence of his beautiful girlfriend. Chuckling to herself she walks back upstairs before slamming Stiles bedroom door. Instantly he jerks his head up while he makes a grabbing motion.
"You act like a toddler." Y/n giggles when she walks towards his closet.
"Only for you, hey what are you doing?" Turning back slightly she grins before pulling out one of his flannel shirts. "Put it back this is a no clothes zone place."
"I'm cold."
"Than I'll warm you up." Shaking her head Y/n strips away from the blanket before shrugging on the thin flannel.
"Where are my underwears?" Placing both hands upon her hips Stiles shrugs his shoulders.
"You really want them back on?....Their wet."
She squints at him before letting out a groan "You do this every time Stiles I swear."
"Not all the time, sometimes I hide it in plain sight but you still can't manage to find it."
"Fine." With that being said she walks over to his underwear drawer and slips on a pair of his boxers. Stiles starts to snicker at her when she throws the bed sheet at him. "Shut up." A blush creeps up onto her cheeks as she makes her way over to Stiles.
Without a second thought Stiles pulls her down to sit between his legs as the blankets barricades them.
"What do you have there?" Stiles asks and narrows his eyes to her hands.
"Not much it's just a sneak peak of your going away present." Y/n says as she tilts her head up. Nodding his head he begins to think about what is written beyond the hidden pages. "Stiles you can ask." She giggles already knowing the curiosity was eating at her boyfriend slowly.
"Anything about me?" She smiles and hands the chosen page to Stiles.
LISTEN TO SONG NOW
"What is this?"
"Just read it." Huffing out a breath his gaze meets the white paper.
4/24/03
Dear journal,
Today Scott brought me to the park to introduce me to his best friend Stiles. He was very nice to me and allowed me to play with the last dinosaur in the sand pit. Although his attention was on a strawberry blond hair I got to meet my best friend that day. We share similar interests within foods such as cookie dough ice cream and we both love the same colour... pale blue. When it was time to go home Stiles held onto my hand and guided me across the street as Scott forgotten to take me home. (He's pretty stupid like that sometimes but I love him.) Once Stiles dropped me off at my house his mom was walking up our driveway to find where he had gone. She's really nice lady and I hope to see her and the rest of the Stilinski family again...especially Stiles.
Gosh he's so cute!
-Y/n
Once Stiles is done reading Y/n looks up at him only to notice the tears welling in his eyes.
"What is this Y/n?"
"Our journey, their a lot more but you can't see the others just yet." Leaning down he kisses her with love.
"I love it thank you angel."
"Don't thank me just yet." Y/n bites the inside of her cheeks before she moves over to his side. "Round two?"
Stiles doesn't waste another moment before pouncing onto the love of his life.
--------------------
A/N
Typing ..............