Um...things MAY change depending on how I go about the next chapter.
I'm not really content with this chapter and entirely changed the ending of this chapter and also what I was initially going to do witht eh whole party scene.
Emmy Rossum =Chloe (Clover -- Damon's nickname for her)
CHAPTER 23
Note: This chapter is really crazy and some things seem VERY weird. You have to remember that Damon is completely wasted. His thoughts aren’t quite coherent. His common sense and ability to think are impaired at this moment.
“Chloe,” he mumbled again, making me snap out of my analysis of him.
“Get out of here. I’m not Chloe, “I snapped, turning back around to get away from the drunken idiot.
“You can’t fool me Clover. I would never forget that dress. I bought it for you. It’s an original. No one else can ever have that dress,” Damon babbled on. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable and out of my skin in this dress.
“Damon, it’s Al—“I stopped mid-sentence. What the hell was I doing? Damon was drunk as hell, I could find out something! I couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste. I had already missed my first opportunity. Let’s just hope he was drunk enough.
“Okay, you caught me, Damon. I am Chloe, but so what? I don’t want anything to do with you. You didn’t love me. You left me,” I said, making it up as I went. I had no idea what went down, but I was willing to be Damon would try to correct me.
“Of course I loved you Clover! You were the only girl I EVER loved. How could you ever think I didn’t love you? I-I- I don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. What I did to you…I regret it every day of my life. I-I didn’t mean to! I-I I don’t even know how to apologize,” he stuttered. “I miss you, love. You were my everything and now I’m left with nothing.”
“What’re you going on about Damon? What’re you apologizing for?”
“Do you not know? How do you not know? Did you lose your memory when it all happened? How are you standing here in front of me? Are you a ghost? OH! I’m so SO sorry! Does that mean you don’t remember me? Do you remember all the great time we had together? But you know my name! So that’s good news, no? You must remember something. Unless I gave you my name earlier.”
“Uh…it’s your party, that’s how I know your name,” I lied on the spot, “I really don’t remember you, or anything.”
The most stricken look fell across his face you would think someone told him he only had 24 hours to live. His despondency was so deep I almost wanted to say that I was just joking and that I knew everything about him.
“Why are you here? How did you get here?”
“Uhh…I…don’t…know? How about you tell me about you and me and try to jog my memory a little. Maybe then I’ll remember.”
His sadness was quickly replaced with a glimmer of hope as he bobbed his head up and down clumsily like a bobble-head. His eyes crossed over and he seemed to be dizzy.
“Let’s sit down somewhere before you fall over.”
He nodded again, but this time stumbled into me.
“Oof!” I huffed out as I caught him and wrapped his arm around my shoulder to help him up the stairs.
“You look even more gorgeous than I remember,” breathed Damon onto my face. I wrinkled my nose from the stench of his breath.
“It’s the alcohol,” I muttered.
At last we made it up the stairs and into his bedroom. I practically threw him towards the bed, exhausted from his weight.
“So tell me now about us,” I asked, sitting down next to him.
Suddenly, Damon fell over, his head falling into my lap, and he began to shake and sniffle uncontrollably. Holy cow, is he crying?
“Damon, what’s wrong?”
“I just can’t believe this. I want you—no, I need you back! I’m a bitter and lonely man without you. FOREVER ALONE!”
“Why can’t you just find someone else like me?”
His face contorted into what looked like he had just had a Sour Warhead. “It’s not as easy as you think. All the other girls, they only want me for my money. They’re all fake, dumb, gold-digging, cheating, lying, whores. But YOU…you weren’t like that at all. You were so much more. You were above all that. No one could EVER replace you.”
“Why do you love me so much, Damon?”
“How could I not love you? You were genuine, sweet. You knew me inside and out. You liked me for me. You weren’t rich, but you didn’t care about my money. You would always do these cute and quirky little things that always made me smile. You left notes with my lunch, you MADE my lunch occasionally, you dance around nearly everywhere, twirling and jumping with poise and grace like a ballerina. You were always so energetic, bubbly, and positive. You barely paid any attention to what others thought of you. You didn’t even realize how beautiful, fragile, innocent you were from the inside and out. You’re the girl every man dreams of finding. The girl I couldn’t have even dreamed of because I didn’t know someone so amazing could exist. You were like an angel.”
“And if that weren’t enough, “he continued, “you were so down to earth, and not…prissy. You would go hiking with me, canoeing, have snowball fights with me, play sports with me, and watch sports with me. You were always so supportive of whatever I did. You added color to my black and white life. You even made working in my dad’s company better…oy my dad. That’s another thing I’m sorry about.”
“Why is that? What was with your dad’s company?”
“It’s not about the company. It’s about my dad. He didn’t like you at all. He wanted me to get one of those superficial girls that would make great arm candy and ornamentation. He didn’t like how much of an influence you had over me. He didn’t like that you could actually think for yourself and that you were different. He tried so many schemes to get me to get rid of you or to make you think I was cheating on you so you would break up with me, but nothing worked. You were smarter than that. You knew me. You didn’t get jealous. You knew you had every last tissue of my heart.”
Suddenly Damon began moaning and sniffling again. He was such an emotional drunk... or was it just this girl that drove him to be like this? If he loved her so much, why didn’t he chase after her and apologize for whatever it is she did? “It wasn’t infatuation you know. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone the way I did, the way I do. No one could compare to you.”
“How long were we together?” I whispered, taken aback from all of his strong feelings.
“A few years, although it felt like I knew you for a lifetime. I was going to propose to you, you know? Before I met you, I never would have thought about being tied down to a girl, getting married, settling down.”
“So why didn’t you? Did you chicken out? Couldn’t let go of the bachelor life?”
“Of course not…I don’t want you to know. I don’t want you to know what happened. I don’t want you to remember.”
“Do you regret it, loving me? You’re in so much pain now that I’m gone.”
“Never. I could never regret it. It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. The times I spent with you were without a doubt the happiest and best times of my life…even if they only exist in my memory now. It’s not fair! I’m so sorry;” he cried again, “Don’t leave me. Stay here with me. Don’t go back to wherever you came from! Please…what can I do? I’ll come to you if I must. Anything. I will do anything!”
I felt extremely disturbed, confused, worried, and depressed to see Damon so vulnerable like this.
“How do you think I got here Damon?”
“I don’t know. Maybe God decided to bestow me with a little happiness and led you to me.”
My face crumpled up even more. “Do you get very religious when you’re drunk or something?”
He ignored that comment. “When are you supposed to leave? Will you stay a few days? When you leave how can I talk to you again? Do I have to do a séance? Can you possess someone’s body?”
He was so ridiculously drunk. Ghosts, Séances, possessing bodies. It’s as if he thought I was a—. Wait a minute. What was is that Nadya said about Chloe. “She can never come back here.”
“Damon, when was the last time you ever saw me before this?”
“What do you mean—oh right you don’t remember what happened or something like that right? I don’t want to tell you. Well…uh…I don’t want you to remember. We can pretend like it never happened. I don’t want you to hate me.”
“Damon…,” I sighed, “I NEED to know. Why would I hate you? Okay, at least tell me this. Am I supposed to be…” a human being, a ghost, oh how am I supposed to phrase this, “…alive?”
He looked confused for a moment, before he announced, “Well of course, you’re standing here in front of me aren’t you!”
I sighed, “She’s dead Damon, isn’t she? She’s dead.”
He pursed his lips into a straight line, “No! No you’re not dead! You’re here with me, now. And you’ll stay here with me. I’m not letting you go. You came back to me. I’M NOT LETTING YOU GO CHLOE!” he screeched like a little kid throwing a tantrum.
“Damon! I’M NOT CHLOE!” I yelled back, unable to take this any longer. “I’m Alaure! Chloe is dead. DEAD! Get it in your head. The sooner you accept it, and get over it the sooner you’ll get your head on straight again.”
Before I could even finish, Damon pressed his hands against his ears and loudly sang, “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
“You’re not Alaure! You don’t even look like her!”
“Your heartlessness probably killed her. There’s no way she would have loved someone like you. Just look at yourself! You kidnap innocent women, you’re a cruel bastard! You barely have an ounce of kindness or care in you! She probably felt bad for you. Even if she were alive today, do you think she would like what you are? I bet she just used you and went behind your back like a whore and slept around with all your friends, especially Bax,” I spat mindlessly.
I didn’t care about what I was saying. I just felt ticked off for no reason in particular. Thinking about everything bad that had happened to me just made me angry, and seeing Damon drunk like my father just continued to set me on edge.
The next thing I knew, I was thrown against the wall, the sudden movement taking my breath away, rendering me unable to breathe. Damon’s hand was wrapped dangerously tight around my neck, not helping with my respiration issue. His eyes were narrowed slits, filled with pure anger and hatred. The veins that wrapped around his muscles were clearly visible with his hand flexed.
Yeah I've been leaving you guys hanging on a LOT of cliffs lately. Don't trip. Sorry.
Did you like it though? I wasn't completely sure about this one.
I also know I said wouldn't be uploading much lately...I'm not supposed to be...but I've just been feeling really depressed lately :( and posting chapters and reading all your comments really helps give me a few moments of bliss so I'd like to take this moment to thanks all those who comment...
~~~COMMENTERS! I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SMALL MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS! :D ~~~
My thoughts have been in complete diarray...so my writing may be sucking at this point...hopefully not too badly.
I'm sure you guys don't want to hear me whine here, but I've just been feeling really stressed about college applications. ARGH! On top of that, I'm making a huge step by possibly quitting orchestra after 6 years of being in it. It's all that's been on my mind lately. Funny thing is that all my problems (including the orchestra thing) could be solved if I could just be accepted into UT Austin. I'll feel like a total failure if I don't make it into UT.
...yeah I really just need someone to hug or a shoulder to cry on right now...but I have no one because I'm FOREVER ALONE! I totally get Damon. :P I feel like some of my friends are of no help in times like these. I should just go out and buy a gallon of ice cream now...but then I would feel guilty after all the weight I just lost...I CAN'T WIN! (It's like Economics. )
Fun Fact!: My economics teacher's name is Mr.Damon lol and I was scared to death of him for the first few day. I almost cried 3 times in his class on the first day because he was so scary. He's pretty funny though.
FunFact2: My grandma gave me a purse and the name of the company is Ferragamo lol