Confessions

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My deepest apologies for the wait :( Thanks for being so patient! And thank you to all my new fans! :D

CHAPTER 25: Confessions

Opening my eyes, I found myself curled up against Bax’s chest. I must have fallen asleep and not realized it. Painfully I rolled out of bed in the morning, careful not to wake Bax, and made my way to my room. Removing the dry and annoying contacts from my eyes, I slipped my glasses back on, grabbed a few toiletries and stepped into the shower, washing all the gunk from my face off and letting my hair regain its natural state. After I finished, I looked at myself in the mirror.

I still looked like hell…felt like it too. Around my neck, small purple dots had imprinted themselves. My eyes were sunken from fatigue. I could barely sleep last night. It used to be worse when I lived with my father, I was used to it, but seeing bruises on my skin still hurt me emotionally. I sighed and slipped my shirt over my head before heading down to the kitchen.

I poured myself a bowl of Coco-Puffs and sat down at the table where I could stare outside the window. A numb feeling fell over me as I gazed off. My mind was blank. It was kind of a blissful loneliness until he walked into the kitchen.

“Morning,” he greeted all too cheerily. I stiffened at the sound of his voice, but didn’t respond. I simple continued to gaze out the window.

“Helloooo, earth to Alaure,” Damon said, walking over to me and waving his hand around in my face. I remained unfazed. “Hey! Are you…Alaure, what are these marks on your neck.” Very lightly, his fingers grazed over the bruised marks on my neck, causing me to flinch away from him, not out of pain, but rather our of disgust of his filthy fingers on her. I glared at him for an awkward moment before abruptly standing up and rushing out of the room.

I ran up to the 3rd floor where I could be alone. He doesn’t even remember, the drunkard, and the nerve of him to touch me and ask where these damned marks came from. I should tell him about everything he did last night. I scoffed, why should I? He wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t feel remorse like any normal person. He had no humanity in him. I sighed and sunk down into an arm chair. I curled up against the sides, imagining they were Bax’s warm, firm arms around me again. I smiled at the thought. Just the thought of him seemed to erase all thoughts of Damon. The world around me seemed brighter, more hopeful.

Years had passed since I had felt anything like this, the happiness that one could feel when they were lovesick. It was overwhelming, addicting, and I wanted more, especially in such dark times when there seemed to be a large deficit of contentment in my life. I wanted—no, I needed to confess my feelings to Bax. The feelings were so obvious that even a blind man would detect them, but I needed to say it. I needed my feelings to be out in the open. I needed to be able to admit them to him, and most of all I wanted him to reciprocate those feelings, tell me that he liked me too.  I smiled uncontrollably at the thought.   

“What if…” I thought, my smile faltering slightly. No, he wouldn’t reject me. Would he? My eyebrows furrowed at the depressing thought. I would be devastated. It would be like middle school all over again. I groaned at the thought, the embarrassment, the heartbreak, and the tears. I face palmed myself, shaking my head, even now at the stupidity of younger me thinking that the guy older than me, and way out of my league would possibly like me. I didn’t make my intentions subtle either. That was the last time I let myself get entangled in frivolous thoughts about boys…well until now.

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