Emerson had held the door to the tour bus open for me and smiled. As I walked in, I was met with a very panicked looking Sebastian, and a very worried Daniel who was trying to calm Sebastian down. Moans filled the tour bus. But I couldn't make out who was doing what. All I knew was that someone was having sex.
"What's wrong?" I asked, making my way over to Sebastian.
"My little brother has made a huge drunken mistake..." Sebastian trailed off as moans continued to fill the bus. My heart stopped.
"He-He's not...no, it can't be. Can it?" I questioned. My feet beginning to shake. He's not the moaning one, no. It-no.
"He's drunk which gives him no excuse, but...please don't go back there," Sebastian emerged from the couch. Daniel looked at me as pity and regret danced in his eyes.
I began to walk towards the bunks, ignoring the calling of my name. I heard Remington moan louder and God did I wish I was the one making him sound so unholy.
I pulled back the black curtain to reveal a naked woman with tattoos covering her arms, thighs, and sides. She was really skinny, and super pale. Remington looked up at me shocked, his face red from intoxication. Tears filled my eyes as I began to walk away. Remington tried to move, but the girl pushed him back down. I ignored everyone calling my name and walked right off the tour bus.
I began to run down the streets of New York, the tears continued to fall from my eyes. I didn't know where I was, but anxiety filled my body as the whole world began to spin. I looked around to notice that I had escaped all the lights of New York and was in a very shady looking place. For fucks sake..
I leaned against the dirty white walls and tried to catch my breath. I hated my life right now. I began to sob even harder, if that was even possible. I didn't know what the night had in store for me.
Sure, Sebastian asked me not to look, but I had to see for myself. I didn't want it to be true. But it was. Why was I so stupid? Why did I look? Was it better to just ignore it all and just forget it ever happened?
A figure began to emerge from the shadows. It was a man in ragged clothes and dirt covered him. He looked homeless. I wiped my tears and was about to run away, but he gripped my wrist and held me back against the wall. I've seen this scenario one too many times. He began to rip through my clothing with glass that he had stashed in his pocket. He had ripped though everything but my leather jacket. I was screaming and crying but no one would help me.
I had really fucked up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once the man had his way with me, I was left broken, bruised, and hopeless. I had gathered myself and arose from the pitch black ground. I ran back the way I had come finding myself in town. I didn't recognize anywhere, but I did feel safe with all the people around. I had zipped my jacket up, but I was practically walking around in my underwear. My whole body ached and I just longed to be back with the boys.
"Hey, are you okay, ma'am?" I turn my head to see a very familiar fedora placed upon a small man's head. He was wearing glasses, a leather jacket, awkward jeans, and a black shirt.
I just shook my head no and began to cry again. I think he knew what had just happened considering the state I was in and the fact that I had dried blood that had trailed from my underwear and down my leg. My whole body began to shake.
He took off his leather jacket, picked me up, bridal style, and threw his jacket on over me.
"I'm Patrick stump, and you are..?"
"I'm Kat, and you're from Fall Out Boy," I replied. My head finally putting a name to the familiar face.
"I'm gonna take you to the tour bus, do you have anyone you can call to come pick you up?" He asked, his voice sounding so angelic.
"I do, but we kind of got into a fight," I leaned my head onto his shoulder.
"You can stay with us," He smiled. I thanked him before laying my head onto his shoulder and falling asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had awoke in panic. My head dancing in confusion. My nightmares racing through my brain. I was laying in a bunk, but the bunks weren't the ones that I was used to.
Did we upgrade the bus while I was asleep?
I pushed the covers that had been laid over me, away from my body, and stood up. I realized that I was just wearing my leather jacket, but some weird plaid pajama bottoms.
"Oh, you're awake. Are you okay? Patrick brought you in here last night and you looked pretty dinged up," I turned around to see Pete standing behind me, he had a little bit of eyeliner streaking down his face making him look like he had just got G noted after listening to Northern Downpour.
"I-I'm kat." I introduced myself ignoring his question. Memories from my nightmares came flooding back. I guess that dream was real. I was heartbroken and raped all within the same night. Wonderful. I pushed back my tears and forced a smile onto my face.
"Oh, here's your phone. I charged it while you were asleep," Pete walked to his bunk and gave me my phone. He then ruffled my hair and walked to the front of the bus.
My phone was blowing up with messages from the boys.
Remington - 15 missed calls
I'm sorry. Please come back
Kat
Kat where are you?
Kat call me back, I'm worried.
Kat!! I'm sorry, please come back home. Please talk to me. I'm so fucking sorry
There were more texts from him like them. I had about 28 messages from him. Almost all of them were apologies.
Emerson - 39 missed calls
Kat please come back home, Remington is having a fit
Remington is freaking out. Where are you? Answer your phone
Kat, I'm getting worried answer your phone
I know you're mad, but you can't ignore me. Not right now. I'm worried for you. Please answer me
My heart felt heavy. I had caused so much problems back on the tour bus.
Sebastian- 5 missed calls
Kat?
Where are you?
Are you okay?
Please call me back
Remington harmed himself pretty badly. Please be okay
Emerson and Daniel are out looking for you
Please be okay
I began to cry. I called Emerson in a rush. It didn't even have a chance to ring before he answered the phone.
"Kat!? Kat!? Are you there? Are you okay? Oh my god," Emerson sounded like he wanted to cry.
"I'm so sorry," I cried,"I'm not okay. I'm on fall Out Boy's tour bus. I need you, just you. Please come," I cried even harder.
He hung up and texted me to ask me for the address. I had asked Pete, and then told him what street we were parked at. He told me an okay before I followed Pete's ghosted footsteps out into the living room. I joined him and sat on the couch. I curled myself up into a ball and sobbed. I was trying to be quiet considering others were still asleep, but it was hard to do.
"Please stop crying, you're making me sad. A princess like you doesn't deserve to be sad," Pete moved closer which caused me to flinch back. I cried even more. I was no princess. Princesses don't get raped, they don't get used. They are alway needing a man in their lives. I don't need a man.
"I-I'm sorry," i apologized, lifting my head to where he could only see my eyes. His dark brown eyes gazing into my tear stained ones. He just shook his head as if I didn't need to apologize. A small smile landed upon his lips.
A knock erupted from the other side of the door causing me to flinch and go back into hiding. Pete got up off the couch and walked towards the door. In ran a very exhausted looking Emerson. I poked my head up again, only to meet his eyes. They were filled with worry. His eyes were red and swollen, but filled with caution. He knew something had happened.
"What's wrong love," He asked coming and gently placing his arms around me.
"I was h-h-harassed," I just started bawling.
"Oh my god, baby, no," He held me as I shook with sobs.
"I should've just stayed with you guys. I should've listened and never left the house. Why am I so stupid?' I cried even harder.
"It's okay, it's okay," Emerson hugged me as my whole body shook against his.
"I should've went after you, I'm so sorry baby," He kissed my temple and continued to let me cry.
After my crying session, all the boys had woken up and were hugging and talking to Emerson. He explained what had happened last night which caused all the boys, (Pete, Joe, Patrick, Andy) to all look at me. Most of them holding sympathy and sadness in their eyes.
Pete had began to make everyone cereal and handed me a bowl before ruffling my hair again and smiled. I sadly smiled back and began to eat. I didn't really want to, but I knew that if I didn't I would be in the hospital. The boys didn't need that on top of all the stress they are going through now.
"Em, I don't want to speak to Remington. He hurt me and I'm not ready.." I spoked looking into his dark hazel eyes.
"That's okay love, I will let everyone on the bus know what happened and what you told me, is that okay?" He offered me a soft smile.
"Not that I want everyone to know, but yeah.." I sighed.
"I think I better get her home guys, thank you for finding her," Emerson thanked. I thanked them also and hugged them. They exchanged their numbers with me and let me leave.
"I hate new York," I grumbled. Emerson smiled at me before picking me up and carrying me all the way to the bus. I was trying to mentally prepare myself for what was going to happen when I arrived. I knew Remington would apologize a million times, but I wasn't in the right mindset to deal with him. I couldn't.
I sighed and placed my head onto Emerson's shoulder relaxing into his hold. I still hadn't seen myself yet. I didn't know what damage had been done to my face. I knew that my body was littered with bruises. We had arrived at the teal colored bus, I sighed and got set on the floor by Emerson. I gripped his hand before letting him open the door. My breath got caught in my chest. Sebastian was the first one to see us. He looked like a wreck, he hadn't gotten any sleep and it was obvious. I ran into his arms and sobbed before apologizing a million times over.
"Shh, shh, it's not your fault. It's okay," Sebastian rubbed my back in attempt to get me to calm down.
Daniel was next, he apologized for being a dick, I thanked him for looking or me, and I also sobbed when he hugged me. Luis did the same thing, and so did Phil. I had caused everyone fright and I was so sorry.
"You're okay, do you want anything?" Sebastian asked.
"I want a shower," I sighed. He nodded his head and let me go.
"Emerson can you wait outside the door for me, or Sebastian..one of you?" I asked.
Emerson had emerged and followed me to the bathroom. I closed the door, undressed. I looked at the bruised that had formed right by the scar from my last attack. I sighed and got into the shower.
"You can come in now," I called to Emerson. I heard the door open and close.
"Do you want any music?" He asked.
"Can you put on Panic!I don't care what song, I just need to hear his familiar voice," I explained. I really did miss the boys at times like these. I'll give them a call after all this, maybe skype them or something.
The warm water trailed down my body removing the blood that had crusted between my legs and eased my tensed body. I popped my back causing Emerson to laugh.
"Damn what was that?" He laughed
"My back," I smiled.
"Damn girl," He spoke. He had turned on Dying In LA which hurt my soul. But I was okay with it. I began to sing to myself as I put shampoo into my hair and rinsed it out. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and be alone. Maybe write in my journal after I called Brendon. I scrubbed my body with my hands trying to remove the sins of last night, my body beaming red, claw marks from my finger nails. I had clawed my skin raw. I was officially broken.
I sighed and asked Emerson to get me some clothes before wrapping a towel around my body, and stepping out of the shower. Emerson brought me new undergarments and some black pants and a Palaye tank top. I rolled my eyes at him as he closed the door leaving me to get dressed.
After getting dressed, I brushed my teeth and combed my hair before retreating back to my bed. I closed the curtain and turned on the lights before pulling my phone out. I texted Brendon and asked him to skype me. We exchanged names and began a video call.
His little face popped up on my screen causing me to smile. His face went from happy to confused.
"What happened to your cheek?" He questioned. Two other figures made their way to look, it was Tyler and Josh. Their eyes full of anger and concern.
"I was raped, and cheated on all within the same night," I plastered a sarcastic smile on my face and choked back the tears that wanted to fall from my eyes.
"Baby, no, I'm so sorry- oh my god," Josh cried out. Tears rimmed his eye line. I began to sob, not wanting to. I wasn't okay at all. My heart ached, I didn't like seeing Josh break down for any reason. Tyler looked piss, his face was red with anger. Brendon looked shocked, like he wasn't expecting that.
"I'm gonna come on tour with you fuck this," Tyler screamed and left to go pack his bags.
"I'm coming too," Josh called after him.
"You guys don't have to, I feel like you'll beat up Remington," I laughed.
"You're damned right," Brendon sassed.
"Stop, he was drunk and didn't know better. I forgive him, but I'm still hurt and I just don't want to deal with it after what happened yesterday," I explained.
"I also messed up...I hurt him by falling asleep in the same bed as Emerson. But I then proceeded to hang out with Emerson the whole time we were in NY," I explained.
"We'll meet you in the next city," Josh smiled and waved goodbye. I waved goodbye at them and hung up the phone.
I sighed and plugged my phone onto the charger before getting out of my bunk. Is it bad that I longed for Remington's arms to hold me?
I sighed and shook my head, and walked back to the living room. I was met with a pair of strong arms wrapped around me. I knew it was Remington because of his scent. I was too depressed to care at this point.
"I'm so, so, so sorry. I will never drink that shit again. I was just mad about you and Emerson, turns out I'm the cheater," He began to cry. My heart strings began to get pulled. I fought back tears and just hugged him back.