~Sirius POV~
I wake up normally. Slowly, no one barging into the flat saying there's an emergency. No overly excited prongs flooing in unannounced. No abnormal crisis that's needing to be taken care of.
Tranquil: The state of being calm.
That used to be normal. Until the war. Until we left hogwarts.
Chaos: Complete disorder and confusion.
Now, it seems that chaos is the new normal. It seems like, if there is no conflict, no problem needing to be solved, what purpose is there?
Everyone has forgotten. About tranquility.
I live for moments like these. Moments when I can open my eyes and let my mind find itself on my own time. Moments where I can look up and see Remus calm and still. He's always so tense nowadays. Now that there is a traitor in the order.
Remus has his arm wrapped tightly around me, trying to protect me even as he sleeps. It's like we're always paranoid, even in our own home.
But in these moments, I feel truly safe. There is nothing to be controlled. Nothing to fight over. Just me, and my husband.
I slowly move my arm, lightly pressing my hand over Remus' heart, splaying my fingers out. That, that beat is so simple, yet at the same time complicated. Weak, yet strong. The heart is a weak spot for all living things. One blow to your heart, and life stops. But at the same time, it's that weak spot that allows one to live. That simple beat is the center of all existence.
Remus stirs, and I stop moving until he settles down again. He never gets enough sleep. Neither of us do. He'll stay up all night going over battle strategies and pretty much any thing that could help us find the traitor, and I stay up so he has someone to talk to. The problem with Remus is when he's scared, he pushes himself into his work, in an attempt to drown out the feeling. Sometimes, it works. Other times, it results in a breakdown. One night, devoted to ice cream and cuddles. We both have breakdowns from time to time. Moments when we want to leave and never look back.
But for some reason, we always look back. We look back because the people here are our home. We ground each other, bring each other back from those times. And we always try our bests to make it better. That's why we're so good together. Our love is strong enough to keep us going. But if one of our hearts stop, the other breaks. The other heart doesn't have that feeling of security anymore... So it crumples under the pressure of having to walk this winding path alone, while still dully beating.
That's why we feel we must do everything we can, to protect each other.
After minutes.. Maybe longer, Remus speaks. Not a 'good morning'. Not a 'Why are you awake?' not even a 'What time is it?' But three simple words.
"I love you," His voice is soft. Rough with sleep, but tender and loving.
"I love you too," I whisper.
As Remus wakes up, he moves one of his hands to play with my hair. I smile and wrap my arms around his waist.
"How long have you been awake?" Remus asks, his voice still sweet and sleepy.
"I dunno. Not very long. What time is it?" Time. The next stepping stone in the river of life. In the middle, you have the heart. The next ring after that, is time. We base our civilization off of this giant star that warms and brightens our world, but we have no idea why. How did our ancestors calculate the minutes, adding them too hours, and adding them to days? We don't know, yet we go along like it was just always there.
"Six thirty," Remus answers after looking over my head at the digital clock on my nightstand.
I curl closer to him, moving closer to the comforting warmth he produces.
"I don't want to move," I murmur, not needing to talk any louder for Remus to hear me.
"You should try to get some more sleep, baby," His words are filled with nothing but affection and concern. I snuggle my head safely into the crook of his neck.
"You, too. Promise you won't leave?" We've both gotten to the point where we are constantly panicking when we aren't next to each other. We balance each other's nerves, and can calm almost any fear with just a touch on each other's shoulders. Or a subtle hand on the knee in an order meeting. An arm wrapped around the waist after a particularly nerve wracking run in with death eaters. But, we can always calm each other. No matter how scared, or angry.
"I won't leave, puppy. I promise," Remus kisses the top of my head after he speaks, one of his hands still in my hair. Names, the next ring. The foundation of our entire identity. One word, that means so much. Take 'Puppy' for an example. Remus has called me that since hogwarts. My name, Sirius, is also the name of a star. A star in the constellation Canis major. Canis is Latin for 'Canine', which means dog. Remus also sees me as someone he needs to protect, like a baby. We call each other baby, or babe, all the time. But rem also calls me puppy, or pup, meaning 'Baby dog,'
Before I know it, I'm falling asleep.
The next time I wake, Remus is gently stroking my cheek and speaking softly in my ear.
"Sirius. Honey, wake up," I open my eyes, almost flinching at the harsh sunlight.
"It's nine," Remus answers my question before I can ask it. "We have lunch With James and Lily at one, and an order meeting at five. I figured you would probably want to be lazy for a while, so I decided you might as well be awake,"
This is the moment. The moment where he says 'I'm gonna go get some work done'.
"You wanna watch a movie?" I look up at him, startled. We haven't had an actual lazy day since Hogwarts. Remus smiles and kisses my cheek. "I thought, that you would be more interested in that than working. We might as well keep the morning going good," He pushes my hair away from my eyes.
"And we desperately need to spend some actual time together. My constant paranoia is ruining our relationship," He looks into my eyes while he speaks, and I can tell he means what he says.
"Not your fault. I should be trying to help you instead of just letting us fall into a routine. Just because we're in a war, doesn't mean we can stop paying attention to... Us," My voice is barely above a whisper. Remus has tears in his eyes. "Don't cry. Sure, we're stuck between a rock and a hard place. But that doesn't mean we can't do anything about it. Come on, let's go eat some breakfast and watch a movie. Merlin, I'm starving," I smile and sit up, looking down at Remus. He gets up and hugs me from behind, pressing his head gently into my neck.
"You're my favorite," He whispers, kissing my neck with only innocent intentions. I close my eyes, laying my head back against his shoulder.
"Your favorite what?" I barely even register that I'm speaking, too caught up in the amazing sensations of my husband.
"My favorite you," He kisses my neck one more time before letting me go. I turn my head and press my lips to his, moving gently in rhythm. Remus smiles as much as he can without breaking away from me, twining one of his hands into my hair.
We break away after a few moments, resting our foreheads together.
"When did it all get so complicated?" I ask to no one in particular. I know the question has been floating around in all of our minds since we left Hogwarts. Since we were forced to grow up too quickly.
"It doesn't have to be. If we can find the traitor, we can try to-"
"Shh," I press my finger to Remus' mouth. "No work talk. It's too much. You know we both need a break, or we're going to start going at each other,"
"I just-"
"I know. I know, love. You want to protect me. And James and lils. And Harry. And you are. You're probably the most dedicated order member. But sometimes even you need a break. You need time to clear your mind, and let someone else take control," Remus closes his eyes, and a tear drips down his cheek. I put my hand on his cheek, wiping the tear with my thumb.
"Come on, Babe," I stand up and hold my hand out for Remus to take. He takes my hand and stands beside me. I lead him out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.
"Frosted flakes or captain crunch?" I ask as Remus jumps up on the counter.
"Captain crunch,"
"Feeling colorful today, are we?" I joke, standing on my tip toes to reach the cereal box. I come up just a little bit short, huffing. Remus laughs and silently levitates the box down so I can reach it.
"I'm always a living rainbow when I'm around you," He jumps down off of the counter, grabbing the bowls (That I also can't reach. Damn it Remus, you know I'm short)
"We need to get you a step stool," Rem chuckles, wrapping his arms loosely around my waist. Humor, glorious humor. Even if it isn't something that the world needs to survive, it is still a relavent part of the existence of human beings. A simple knock knock joke, can brighten a person's entire life. Even if it's just for that slight moment. You don't know what the individual might be going through. Frankly, the world sucks. But, humor makes us feel better, and improves our quality of life.
"Why get a stool when I have a tall nerd to grab my stuff for me?" I tilt my head back, smirking at my tall nerd.
"Mm, good point," Remus kisses my cheek, letting me go. He starts enchanting tea to make itself, while I pour us both cereal and milk. I like more milk than cereal, Remus likes more cereal than milk.
"What movie should we watch?" I ask, setting the milk back in the fridge. Remus shrugs, already eating his cereal. I jump up on the counter this time, crossing my legs Indian style.
"What haven't we watched in a while?" Rem asks.
"I dunno. I think I'm in the mood for a romantic thriller, but mostly thriller,"
"You just want an excuse to cuddle up next to me,"
"So what if I do?" I feel my cheeks heat up a little, drinking some of the milk out of my bowl. I uncross my legs.
"You don't need an excuse, Ri. We've been over this," Remus groans, but he's smiling nonetheless.
"I have a reputation, moony,"
"Youre such a child," Remus laughs. He stands in between my legs, his back to my stomach. I rest my chin on top of his head, wrapping one arm around his shoulders.
"Jurassic park," He says after a moment. "Thriller, with a hint of romance," He tilts his head back, kissing my jaw.
"Come on, the tea is done. And I feel like being lazy,"
We make our way into the living room. I put the movie in, while Remus goes to our bedroom to grab a blanket.
I wait until Remus sits down, the I crawl in between his legs. He lays the blanket over me, kissing the top of my head. I lay mostly on my stomach, with my arms around his waist. Rem wraps his arms around my shoulders, turning the movie on.
After a while, Remus starts playing with my hair. I smile and look up at him.
"This is nice, isn't it?" I whisper. "Being calm,"
Remus smiles and bends down a little, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
"Yeah. 'S really nice," He murmurs. I turn my head and lay my cheek back against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat while watching the movie.
I feel Remus start to fall asleep, so I basically switch our places. He catches on, getting up slightly so I can lay on my back. Rem lays with his back to the back of the couch, his head resting comfortably on my chest, and his arm snug around my waist. I rub his back in slow, easy strokes, kissing the top of his head.
"comfy?" I ask, knowing that he's already mostly asleep. All he does is nod.
~When the movie is over~
The movie ends, and Remus is still asleep. I turn the TV off, but I don't move. I wish I could stay in this moment forever.
I move a little to grab a book off of the coffee table, and Remus stirs. He wraps his arm tighter around me, whining out a small 'Siri'. I grab the book, quickly moving back to my previous position.
"It's okay, sweetie. I'm right here," I whisper. Remus hums and snuggles closer to me. I press my cheek to the top of his head, taking a moment to just, be in the moment.
Remus' breathing is slow, a calming rhythm that makes me smile.
"Sweet dreams, mon amour," I murmur, kissing the top of his head with as much gentle-ness as possible.
~A while later~
Remus stirs, blinkng his eyes open. He looks up at me with those big amber eyes, alight with innocence. I put my hand on his cheek, kissing his forehead.
" Wha' Time 's it?" He asks, slurred and thick with sleep.
"Eleven. Take your time, baby. We're not in a rush," I run my fingers through his hair, smiling softly at his sleepy state. Remus always let's his guard down when he's sleepy, and that's why I love him when he's like this.
I gently card my fingers through Remus' unruly hair, not necessarily wanting him to go back to sleep.
"Since when are you so warm?" Remus' words are less slurred now, more clear and awake.
"Since a moony laid on me for two hours," He wiggles until his head is on my shoulder.
"You've been reading? My giggly little spaz has been reading?" Remus looks up at me, a mocking smirk curling at the corners of his mouth.
"Love drives you to do crazy things, my moony," Ah, love. My favorite ring in the river of life. Love is one of those things thats not a nessesity, but it's a beautiful feeling in itself. A life without love is one that isn't okay. That's a life that's dark. When I was young, the only love I got was from my baby brother, or my unvle on the off chance he paid a visit. Most of the time, it was just me protecting reg. When mum or dad, or both of them, were drunk off their arses and fighting downstairs, Reg would crawl in bed with me. He'd curl up close to me, even if I didn't wake up. Because I was the only one who showed him love. When I went to hogwarts, I felt love for the first time. A warm feeling in your chest that you never want to go away. Then Remus and I started dating in fifth year, and a whole new branch of love was open to me. Ive always been a touchy, sort of cuddly person. And Remus is too. So we express our love mostly through touch. Others express love through insults, through only words. But Remus and I have always been touchy-Feely.
"What are you thinking about?" Remus traces patterns on my stomach, smiling at me. I run my fingers through his hair.
"Love. Strange concept, isn't it?" A smile quirks at my lips when Remus yawns, rubbing his eye with his hand. "You're adorable when you're sleepy,"
"Fuck off, Black,"
"one, we both know you don't want me to. And two, who the hell did I marry last year?" I kiss Rem's cheek, clasping my hands at the small of his back.
"Better not 've been anyone but me,"
"Nah. Who else would get the stuff off of the tall shelves for me?"
~A little while later~
Remus and I get up, headed to our bedroom.
"Where are we meeting James and Lils?" I ask, pulling a shirt out of my drawer.
"I dunno. I think we're meeting them at that muggle Cafe Lily likes," Remus pulls his jumper over his head before going through the drawer, and I take the opportunity to admire my favorite auror. And boy, does that training show.
"Keep your eyes in your head, Padfoot," Remus chuckles, pulling a shirt down over his head. I stick my tongue out, changing my shirt as well.
~Metting James And Lily, Remus' POV~
"Prongs!" Sirius calls. James turns around, smiling wide.
"Hey, wolfstar," He calls back. Lily turns around as well, holding a giggling baby boy. Harry just turned one last month.
We finally get so we're standing with James and Lils. We walk into the small cafe, named Little Leaf. While Lily and I get a Table, Sirius and James go to order our drinks.
"What have you guys been doing all day?" Lily asks, sliding into the booth next to me. Harry reaches out towards me, cooing. I lift him into my arms, sitting him on my lap before answering lily.
"Sleeping, mostly," I chuckle. "You?"
"Preparing for the meeting tonight. James is really... Im gonna use the word scattered, about it," Lily sighs. I wrap an arm around her shoulders.
"Sirius wouldn't even let me talk about work this morning. I've been going absolutely crazy, trying to figure out who it is," When I say 'it', lily knows I mean the traitor. "And try not to worry about James. Just, be there for him. Because even if he acts distant, he still needs you," Lily lays her head on my shoulder.
"I know. We just feel strained lately,"
"Youre not alone, Lily. Ri and I've been strained lately too. We finally talked about it earlier, and It's mostly my fault. You just need to give James time to realize for himself,"
"Thanks, Re,"
Sirius And James slide into the booth across from lily and I, passing us our respective drinks. Lily, coffee. Sirius, also coffee, but with more sugar. James, Tea. And me, Also tea.
"This is awkwardly quiet," Sirius says after a while. We all laugh. Harry claps, cooing the 'word' "Ri!"
"I dunno what's wrong with me today," James chuckles. Sirius slings an arm around his shoulders.
"How much sleep have you got in the last week, mate?" He asks.
"Not enough," Lily replies, before James has a chance to answer. "Even with his deer mentality, he hasn't gotten enough,"
"Don't ya hate it when you have to be ratted on?" I ask, standing Harry up in my lap. The marauders, we tell each other everything. So when one of us isn't completely up to par, we expect to get the full details, at least in letter. We don't keep secrets. We established that in second year, after the boys found out my secret. We've all tried, at least a couple times. But we always find out. It's like we can all read each other like books.
"It's like you think we can't tell. A sleepy Prongs can go one of two ways. A sad Jamie, or a grumpy Jamie. A sad Jamie is sadder than the worst chick flick out there, and a grumpy Jamie, well, you don't wanna meet him," Sirius explains, not moving his arm from around Prongs. He then turns to look at James, his face completely serious.
"When we're done, you're going to go home, and you're going to take a nap. Are we clear?" James rolls his eyes.
"Yes mum," He mutters, his head dropping down onto Sirius' shoulder.
~Later~
"Do you guys want to come over? I could use some extra help with Harry," Lily asks. James aparrated home. (Only after being threatened by Sirius)
"Sure. We didn't have any plans today," I answer, chucking at Sirius, who is cooing at Harry. Harry laughs, grabbing for Sirius' hair.
~Jily house~
"Aw man, I've got to go shopping! Do you guys mind watch-"
"I'll go. Give me a list," I say before lily can finish her sentence. Sirius looks up at me like 'Moony, don't leave me.' From his spot on the couch. I smile at him.
"You'll be okay, Ri," I chuckle. Sirius scowls at me, looking like he's about to give me seventeen reasons why that's not true or how I don't know that. I pet the top of his head. "Trust me." I murmur. Sirius nods.
Lily gives me her list, and I head out
~Im time skipping so much, but I don't want to bore you. Back at the Jily house, still remus~
I walk into the kitchen, setting the three grocery bags that I have in my hand down on the counter.
"Thanks, Re," Lily says.
"Where are the boys?" I ask. Lily smiles.
"It's nap time," She answers simply.
"... Where's Sirius?"
"I just said. It's nap time," Lily laughs.
"You put my husband down for a nap?" I chuckle.
"The poor boy deserved it! He looked tired as hell, Remus. I gave him a calming draught, and he was out like a light,"
"Yeah, I know. Insomnia's a bitch." I sit on one of the bar stool by the counter. "Not sure how much sleep he got last night,"
"He's in the living room, you lovesick puppy," Lily rolls her eyes at me. I get up and hug her.
"You cuddly lovesick puppy," She corrects herself.
"You go lay down with James. He'll sleep better with you there. I'll watch harry," I say. Lily lays her head on my chest. I rub her back. Everyone thinks that lily is so happy and upbeat all the time because she's a girl, but I, Reg, and the rest of the marauders know that she's just a tough girl. But sometimes, she does get tired.
"I couldn't ask you to do-"
"You didn't ask me. And that wasn't a question. Go take a nap," I say, in the same voice I use to tell Sirius to do the same thing. I love lily. She's just like my sister. So, I've gotta take care of her.
"Okay Rem. Harr is in the living room in the pack and play. He'll be hungry when he gets up. All of his stuffies should be with him. If we're not down here, wake James and I up at like four. Unless there's something wrong," Lily talks as we walk out of the kitchen. I kiss her cheek.
"Okay, Lils. I've got it. Now go rest," I say. Lily smiles at me before making her way up the stairs.
I continue walking into the living room. Harry is indeed snoozing in the pack and play. Sirius is curled up as padfoot in the middle of the couch. I smile softly. Sirius usually sleeps as Padfoot when I'm not around. Or around the moon when moony is active.
I sit beside padfoot and rub lightly between his ears. His eyes slowly blink open.
"Hey, baby. It would be more comfy if you changed back," I whisper. Sirius has really sensitive hearing when he's tired. It happens in both of his forms.
Padfoot changes back into Sirius. He stretches out and rests his head in my lap, curling up with his knees most of the way up to his chest. Sirius rubs his eyes with his hoodie sleeve.
"Go back to sleep, sweetie," I murmur. Sirius smiles lightly, turning his head to kiss my stomach.
"You, too" He murmurs. I smile, pushing his bangs away from his eyes.
"Okay, love"
We move around until we're comfy. I'm laying on with my back to the back of the couch, with Sirius curled up to my chest. His head is snuggled into the crook between my neck and shoulder, his soft breaths tickling my collarbone. I rub Sirius' back, turning on the muggles tv. I keep it low so it won't wake anyone up.
~Lily's POV~
I trudge up the stairs, making my way into James and I's bedroom. I sit on the side of the bed and smile at my husband. He's sprawled out on his back, one arm over his eyes. Light, almost comforting snores escape his throat every once in a while.
I take off my jacket, laying down beside James. I rest my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arm around his waist. James stirs and wraps an arm around my shoulders.
"You okay, baby?" James asks, groggy and slurred, but still soft. I smile.
"I'm okay, Jamie. Go back to sleep," I whisper, kissing his shoulder. James hugs me tighter, kissing the top of my head.
"Boys taken care of?" Damnit, he's awake now.
"Harry and Sirius are asleep. Rem is taking care of them," I keep my voice soft and soothing. "Relax, James."
"I love you," James rubs my back. "You need to sleep too."
"I love you too, babe. Don't worry, it's all under control," I wrap my arm tighter around James. "All you need to do right now is be here."
"I'm sorry." James whispers. "I just get so worried about you guys. Especially worm tail,"
I sit up. James wriggles around until his head is in my lap. I comb my fingers gently through his hair.
"I know you get wound up. I know you worry. But I also know that you retreat into yourself when you're scared. And baby, you need to talk to me. I love you. I'm always here for you to talk to me. Even when we fight and were both wound up and tired, I will always be here for you. I know you can't help it, James. But you have to try," Tears collect in James' eyes, and he turns his head to face my stomach.
"I'm sorry, Lily. I really am," James says, muffled by my T-shirt. I rub up and down his arm.
"I know, Jamie. It's okay,"
James sits up, grabbing his glasses off of his nightstand. He pushes them up his nose, then looks at me. He takes my hands in his warm ones.
"I'll try, Lils. I'll try to talk to you more," The look in his eyes tells me that he's telling the truth. I smile.
"That's all I'm asking," I whisper. James and I lay down again, face to face. He has his arm wrapped around my waist, and my hands are pressed against his chest.
"Have you talked to wormy today?" I ask.
"No," James says. "He told me that he's coming to the meeting, through. So that's good," He tangles one of his hands in my hair. I yawn.
"Go to sleep, Lils. I've got you," James kissed the top of my head.
"You need to sleep too, James. I'm not kidding,"
"I will, love."
~Later, Sirius' POV~
I wake up still wrapped in Remus' arms, with Harry cooing in the background. I don't open my eyes, but I press a kiss to Remus' neck.
"Hey," Rem whispers. He kisses the top of my head.
"Hi," I whisper back softly. "What time is it?"
"Four. I was just about to go wake prongs and Lils up. Wanna help?" I sit up and smirk at Remus.
"Do you even have to ask?" I walk over and pick Harry up out of his pack n play.
Remus, Harry, and I make our way upstairs. We creep into James and Lily's room. I set Harry on the end of the bed, pointing my wand at the sleeping couple. Remus points his as well.
"3... 2...1..." Remus counts down.
"Aguamenti!" We both whisper shout. The water hits James and lily both right in their faces.
"DAMMIT SIRIUS!" James shouts. Harry giggles and laughs. Lilly laughs too.
"You told me to wake you up," Remus says innocently. Lily sits up and picks Harry up. I dry them both off with a spell.
~People are starting to come in for the meeting~
I hear a howl, and I start laughing.
"Reggieeee!" I shout. Reg walks into the kitchen, laughing along with me. I hug my brother.
"I think you're the last one to show up," Remus says from behind me. He's helping Lily get the snacks ready.
"No, Pete's not here yet," Lily chimes in.
"And you expect he's actually coming?" Reg's happy demeanor instantly falls. He sits at the table, dragging a hand through his hair. I sigh. Reg hasn't gotten along very well with Peter lately. No one knows why, and he won't tell.
"He told James he was, so yeah. Try and be civil, Raven," Lily says. She sets some crackers by reg, giving him a short hug. Reg mutters something under his breath, but I don't even ask at this point. I walk over and sit next to him, leaning my chair back on two legs out of habit.
~During the meeting~
"We all know what we need to discuss this evening," Dumbledore opens the meeting. "There has been a traitor amongst us. We are open to opinions, so please stay civil as we discuss this issue,"
No one talks for a few moments. The only sounds are people reaching for snacks and Harry cooing excitedly in Lily's lap. Peter did end up showing up. He's sitting by James. I'm worried about him. There are dark circles under his eyes, and he's not eating much.
"I still don't think we've looked at the werewolf enough," Kingsley says. He's been trying to get Remus in trouble for weeks. The cracker that I had in my hand breaks and crumbles.
"The werewolf has a name, Shakleboot," Reg says before I have a chance to. I'm absolutely fuming. Remus puts his hand on my knee. I take a deep breath.
"I mean, almost all of the werewolf population is on Voldemort's side! Why should we believe he's not?"
"Because he's our friend?" Nymphadora, my little cousin says. I take a deep breath and smile a little.
"Hey, kid. Didn't think you were gonna show up," Andromeda walks in, holding nymph by the hand. Nymphadora runs over to me and climbs into my lap. She's seven, going on seventeen. I kiss the top of her pink head.
"Exactly!" Kingsley continues. "He's our friend! He could be tricking us!"
"Question," Lily says. "When is Remus ever alone? He could never have enough time to conspire with Voldemort, let alone plan murders,"
"Thank you!" I burst out. "I cannot stress this enough! I spend practically all of my time with him! He's never alone long enough to do anything,"
James chuckles.
"I'm sorry, that just sounds like a clingy relationship," He laughs. Lily smacks him over the head. I chuckle.
Remus moves his hand from my knee. I glance at him, smiling lightly. He lays his arm over the back of my chair.
"I don't think we've looked close enough at the ACTUAL death eater in the room, either," Kingsley says, deciding he wants to piss me off. I wrap my arms around Dora, trying my best not to draw my wand.
"Whoa whoa whoa. I've proved myself quite enough," Reg says. "If you have a problem with me, mate, we should talk it out one on one. Not in front of everyone else," He sounds very calm and collected. That's reg. He's always willing to work it out, no matter what anyone says about him. In other words, the exact opposite of me. In pretty much every way else, we're identical.
~The end of the meeting~
Minnie pours everyone a drink, even herself. Dumbledore clears his throat.
"Next week, we will start again with clean slates," We all drink, except of Harry and little Nymph, who is snoozing in her mum's lap.
"Now." Minnie says. "Who is the traitor?"
Silence. Then.
"It's me!"
I'm instantly on my feet, my wand points at Peter. Remus and Reg are up right beside me. Lily holds Harry tighter against her chest. Andromeda gathers Nymph up in her arms like a baby. Nymph just whines and hugs her mum.
"I fucking knew it you dirty rat!" Reg spits. I grip my wand tighter. I should have listened to him. I was just so blinded by all of the good memories.
"Minerva! Vertisserum?"
"I. Will. Not! Watch ANY more of my students die, Albus!" Minnie and Dumbledore are arguing. Kingsley ties peter up with a silent spell.
My hand shakes.
Moody gets up out of his chair.
"Black, Lupins-"
"We're on it," Remus, Reg, and I all chorus together, reading Moody's mind. He wants us to stay here with James, Lily, and Harry.
"Alright," Moony and Kingsley take Peter by the shoulders and forcefully pull him out of the room.
James is silent. For once in his life, he's completely still. His jaw is slack, and he's not making a sound.
Lily passes Harry to Marlene and pulls James into a hug. James snaps out of his trance and hugs her back like a lifeline.
It takes me a few moments to realize I haven't lowered my wand.
Remus gently takes my wand. He then takes my hand in his, urging me to sit down. I do.
Rem kneels in front of me. He takes my hands.
"Take a deep breath, babe," He's trying to calm me down, but I'm not angry. I'm oddly... Numb. Not necessarily indifferent, just numb.
Harry starts wailing. He can feel the strong tension in the room. I look over at him, completely tuned in. Lily takes Harry back into her arms, holding him close to her.
Reg is pacing the living room. I can almost feel the anger coming from him, even from that far away.
" 'M gonna go check on Reg," I mumble, getting up. I walk into the living room. I can tell Remus is concerned about me, but I have more important things to worry about right now.
Reg is absolutely furious. He's pacing, dragging his hand through his hair, and... Crying?
I walk up to Reg and gently grab his shoulders. He won't look me in the eyes.
"You knew, didn't you?" I ask in a soft tone.
"I w-wasnt sure... But I th-thought so," Tears roll slowly down his cheeks.
"You saw him at Death eater meetings?"
"I knew he was a death eater... But, I'm a death eater, and I'm nice, right? I though that maybe Peter was like me. But then I heard him talking to Voldemort and I still-"
Reg can't finish. I pull him close and hug him tight, just like I used to when he was little. He's only a boy, after all.
"I didn't want you guys to get hurt. Voldemort gets his revenge, Ri... I couldn't risk him pushing the plan deadline up,"
"Shh, kiddo," I whisper. "I understand. It's alright," I kiss the top of my brother's head. Usually, he would laugh and tell me to leave him alone. But now, he just cries harder and hugs my neck tighter. I urge him to sit on the couch. Reg curls up next to me. His crying slowly dissipates. I run my fingers through his hair, whispering reassurances.
"It's okay," I whisper. "It's alright," I rub his back until he finally calms down, pulling away. I wipe the tears from his cheeks.
"Th-thanks..." Reg murmurs. His voice is scratchy and broken.
"It's okay. Do you want to be alone or do you want to come back into the kitchen with me?" I ask.
"I'll be in in a sec," Reg says. I nod and hug him one more time before Getting up and walking into the kitchen.
"Is he alright?" James asks. He looks a little stunned, but for the most part he's just concerned.
"Yeah," I say. "He's just shaken up,"
"We should have listened to him. Merlin. That kid is always right," James says.
I walk over to Remus. He's helping lily with Harry.
I sit beside Remus an lay my head on my arms. Remus lays his hand on my back, while still helping Lily. I close my eyes and think.
~A little bit later~
"James, go to bed," Remus is arguing with James.
"No!"
"Lily needs you, you dolt!" That gives James the motivation he needs. "Lily and Harry need you. We've got it under control down here. Just go upstairs, and go to bed," James finally relents. He runs up the stairs two at a time.
Reg laying on his back with his head in my lap. I play with his hair, waiting for Remus to come back.
Rem sits beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I lay my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes .
You know, maybe Tranquillity is overrated. Maybe chaos is the new tranquility. But as long as I have my family, I think I might just be okay.
~
Okay so I won't most of this a long time ago and I didn't know how to end it so,,, here's this?