Basically, there's this mental disorder that unables a patient to feel love in every way. I forgot what it was called but meh.
I sure am twisted :)
Enjoy~
"But Commander! It's only a walk through the training ground!" You groaned, tugging on Erwin's sleeve. Erwin grunted and pulled his sleeve back, glaring at you.
"I already said "no", (y/n). Can't you understand that?" Erwin growled. You stepped back and pouted.
"Maria would've understood..." Erwin said under his breath. Your eyes widened and turned cold. You made fists and clenched your teeth.
Maria was your late older sister and Erwin's first love. They share the same age but you were younger by two years. Maria was eaten alive by a titan a year ago. Erwin never had a chance to move on.
"Maria this, Maria that. Is that all you talk about?!" You angrily yelled, hanging your head as tears began building in your eyes, "she's gone, Erwin! She left us for good! Why can't you accept that?!"
It pained you to see the last man you'll ever love reject you. Erwin found you annoying, you were always clinging on to him like a koala and following him like a puppy. You just wanted to feel loved, is that too much to ask?
Your deep sulking was ceased when a large hand striked you across the face, sending you to the ground. Your eyes widened and slowly turned to Erwin.
The Commander was looking at you as if you were a monster.
"E-Erwi-"
"Do not speak of her that way!" Erwin yelled, making you flinch, "why did it have to be Maria?! Why couldn't it be you?! She was so much better than you! You are annoying, a brat and undeniably useless! I will never love you, (y/n)! NEVER!!"
Each word pierced your heart, you began sobbing and shaking, hugging yourself for comfort, yet none came. Erwin fell silent and panted, his eyes suddenly widened when the things he said replayed in his mind.
"(y/n)...I-" He started but was cut off when you stood up, your head hung low. You didn't say anything, you just ran away, ignoring Erwin's calls.
You didn't care where you were going, you climbed up your horse and left. Your vision was blurry from all the crying but you kept going. You ended up on a hill under a large tree where a tombstone lay. You dropped in front of it and cried your heart out.
"W-what do you have that I don't?! Why does he hate me so much?!" You sobbed in front of your sister's grave. You continued to bawl your eyes out.
After hours of crying, you were exhausted and passed out. Dreaming about Erwin loving you.
The Commander found you two days later, passed out and cold. His heart sunk seeing your pale and fatigued face. After your fight, Erwin suddenly realized that he had moved on long ago and fell for you. But he was foolish and ignored this.
He took you back to the HQ and immediately called for a doctor. Minutes later, the doctor came out of your room.
"Cadet (l/n) was malnourished for the past week. I also cleaned up the cuts on her wrist. She must've hit her head when she passed out since a bruise was found on her forehead. And there was also a bruise on her cheek." The doctor stated.
"Is she awake?" Erwin asked, his voice full of regret.
"She's about to be. Do yourself a favor and feed her when she wakes up." The doctor replied and left. Erwin entered your room and his heart immediately sunk when he saw the state you were in. He felt like crying for what he has done. His eyes caught two envelopes laying on your desk, one was ripped open and was addressed to you from Maria. Erwin held his breath when he saw the other envelope was addressed to him. He took it and ripped it open, since it was technically his. He began reading the letter.
My Dearest Erwin,
If you are reading this when I have passed on, there are things that I wish to convey to you.
First and foremost, thank you for being the support we needed. No one could accept my sibling and I, but you did.
I have been aware of (y/n)'s fondness of you. You can practically see it in her eyes!
Secondly, this letter would be about (y/n). You see, our parents did not, unfortunately, gave her enough affection. I tried to, but I was unsuccessful because she somehow started despising me. Because of the lack of affection, she triggered something that unabled her to feel love for a year. When that wore off, our parents passed away. And she grew more distant. She joined the army because of you. You're the only one who can fight this mental illness, Erwin. Please don't reject (y/n), she needs to feel love. She can't stay strong without that emotion, no one can.
You are the only one she has left. Please help her, Erwim.
Do it for me, for (y/n). For you.
With love,
Maria
Erwin wanted to cry, he was scared. And this was different from the expeditions. What if you woke up and couldn't feel love anymore? Erwin couldn't loose another loved one again.
So many What If's came to his mind that he didn't notice you waking up. You couldn't recall what had happened the past few days and pondered over it. You turned to your side and saw Erwin there.
"Commander...?" You said, your throat was dry and your voice was hoarse. Erwin's eyes lit up and sharply turned to you. He kneeled at your side and held your hand.
"(y/n)! Oh thank God you're awake," Erwin siged in relief, hugging you tightly, "I'm so sorry, I've been ignorant and foolish. I love you, I love you, I love you. Please say you still love me back."
You paused for a moment, expecting something, but none came. You had a blank face as you slowly pushed him away.
"(y/n)...? No, please no!" Erwin then crashed his lips unto yours. He pulled away to see you smiling sadly.
"Would've been nice if you were a bit early, no? I'm sorry, but you're far too late, Commander."
Ah, I love ruining feels. :) It entertains my Satan role xD.
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Sylvia-Danchou is out, peace!