before I knew it she was here. she entered my apartment and wanted to kiss me. I rejected.
"ok Pip what's up with you?"
I just pointed at the positive pregnancy test on the table.
she acted as she didn't know what it is.
"pff what's that. it's not mine."
"don't play fucking dump now. I'm not stupid."
"I don't know what you think. it is not mine.I have nothing to do with that."
"give me a good explanation of how this came into the bin."
she thought for a moment and started to unbutton her shirt.
"what the hell?! Emilie this is nothing that can be solved with sex!! explain. now."
she sighed and sat down.
"how long?" I asked her. my voice was croaking but I did my best to not be weak, to not cry.
"I'm with him for over three years."
wait what I'm the side chick?! the lump in my throat grew but I didn't interrupt her.
"I met you and I fell for you hard. the sex was amazing. you made my normal days adventurous. you are my little secret that I loved. I couldn't let it go. I know it's been wrong. I even considered leaving him and be all yours but I couldn't. he proposed to me. I couldn't leave you either Pip. I didn't want you to get hurt. I don't even want you to understand.."
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?! DID YOU THINK YOU COULD LIVE LIKE THAT FOREVER? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH THIS HURTS?" I couldn't held it in anymore. tears were escaping my eyes and I couldn't stop them.
"babe please don't.."
"don't. don't call me that. don't even think about it. get your stuff and leave."
it was silent. I only heard her picking some pieces out of the bedroom. it wasn't much though. I held her the door open. I just wanted to be on my own. as she was about to go out she turned around.
"I really didn't want it to end like that. I really love.."
before she could end her sentence I interrupted her.
"just fucking go now. oh and congrats for the baby." I slammed the door. a loud bang. that was it. silence filled the room again. I hated it. thoughts were going crazy in my head. too many voices. I knew exactly what would help. and thankfully I'm the owner of a bar. alcohol will help me to forget this. I went into the bathroom and tried to make myself look acceptable before I went down. everything was cleaned up and Peter was playing with Jamie.
"thank you Peter. I really appreciate that."
"no problem Pip. I know you'd have done the same." he smiled at me and I managed to mirror it.
without another word I head for the bar and poured me a drink. I didn't pay attention to the kind of drink I just grabbed a bottle.
"is it that bad?" he asked.
before I respond I dawned my glass.
"I was the side chick and an adventurous variety in her odd life. now she forms a family with her fiancee."
"ouch."
I nodded and downed the second glass. after the sixth or what ever one he stopped me.
"I'll bring Jamie home. you go upstairs and don't do anything stupid okay?"
"I'm not a fucking teenager okay?" I spoke harshly. I didn't even apologize for my tone. I was drunk, mad and hurt. I thought that would justify my choice of tone enough. I didn't felt like going upstairs. I felt like running away. and I did. I walked through the streets. finally I had a direction to go to. I always go there when I need to be alone and time to think. I took the fairy to Staten island. it was one of my favorite places. I walked along the water side and watched the Manhattan skyline. I sat down on one of the benches and just let the time pass bye. I didn't bring my phone with me. It felt good just to be on my own. away from the people and the busy life just across the water. I listened to the waves and the birds. my thoughts going elsewhere.
how could I've been that stupid to not realize that? why am I always falling for the wrong persons? maybe I'm not allowed to love and every time I do I get punished? what is the reason in living when you cannot love?
not sure when I returned back home but it was already dark. the bar was closed tonight anyway.
I entered my apartment and found Peter on the couch again.
"Peter. don't you have a home?"
"Jesus Christ. Pip!! I thought something happened to you. you didn't answer your phone. where the fuck have you been?"
"I'm a grown woman so I can go where I want to."
"I was bothered about you."
"you don't have to. I'm alive. see?”
I made a 'tada' pose.
"anyway I have some stupid sitcoms and ice cream."
I sat down next to him and we watched friends, two and a half men, big bang theory and how I met your mother.
"why are you doing this for me?" I mean it was nice and everything but I was still his boss though
"do what?"
"this." I pointed at the movies and the ice cream.
"I know you for almost a year and even though you are older than me you remind me of my little sister and I feel like looking after you. I just want you to feel better. Emilie was a bitch anyway."
"literally."
"did you love her?"
"love like love love or just love? I always doubted that one big love anyway. but I guess I didn't. it just hurts. she disappointed me. I think I shouldn't date any one who is bisexual or plays on the theater. like seriously I'm done with this shit."
"maybe you're right. a beer?"
"yeah."
watching those sitcoms made me laugh. Peter knows how to cheer me up.
my phone vibrated at the counter. I haven't looked at it the whole day.
*Emilie is calling*
I sighed and rejected.
I checked my phone and I had several texts and missed calls.
few from Peter, Emilie and Holly and an unknown number.
I deleted the ones from Emilie immediately without actually reading them.
*Holly: hey pepper! are you off to meet up again? we need a proper catch up!x*
*unknown number: I'm off for a few hours now. fancy showing me your New York? ;) Jessie x*
I texted them both back that I was off tomorrow morning. just because I found out that my girlfriend betrayed me or well she betrayed someone else with me, doesn't mean it should keep me down. something to keep me off my mind would be good anyways.
**
the next day I met Holly and Jessie in a diner to eat breakfast together. it was called 'Manhattan diner' and I could swear that they have the best bagels here. Holly and I were talking about old times and the things we made, our so called 'adventures'. Once we pretended to work for the CIA as we were little and caught my neighbor cheating on his wife. then we saved some baby turtles as they were on their way to the ocean.
I can tell by the actions of Jessie that she felt awkward. she was nibbling on her half empty cup of tea and watching the waiters running around.
"so Jessie how long are you staying here?"
"just a couple more weeks. I have to finish recording all of the new songs before I can go back home."
"aww you missing home then? must be someone special waiting for you right?"
"well yeah, my dog Jackson and my family. that's it."
"a relationship with a job like yours must be rough"
"it really is. but the break up with my boyfriend had nothing to do with my career."
BOYfriend. ha! I knew that she must have been straight. you can see that also at her long fingernails. Peter owes me 20 bugs now!
I tried to cover up my inner happy dance and nodded understandingly.
we planned to meet up again tomorrow night. I already had made up great things on my head of where we could go.
**
I promised that I'll update whenever the chapter reaches 5 votes. not sure if I can keep this promise. but I give my best ✌