Julie walked down the stairs trying to avoid acknowledging any of the stares she was receiving from her family. It's been four days since she's seen anyone but Sheila and Dresden. She's spent all of her time avoiding Dresden and sleeping away in Sheila's room. She couldn't be more thankful to the she-wolf. Sheila has been there through the thick and thin, giving all sorts of support to Julie. Now, Julie finally had enough confidence to come out of hiding. She was ready to shove all thoughts of her argument with Dresden to the back of her mind and focus entirely on finding Trisha.
She went straight for the living room, not feeling up to eating breakfast. Jack was leaning his head on the arm rest of the couch, slowly taking sips of a soda with his good hand. She fell into a chair next to him and gave him a small smile. He was looking better than she remembered.
"How are you doing?" She asked, leaning over him. He chuckled weakly, setting the can on the floor.
"I should be asking you that question." He stared at her hard and sternly, chiding her. "You did something very stupid."
"I did," She winced at the mere memory of it, her arm tingling in response. Thanks to Dresden's unique wolf trait, her wounds were closed and mostly healed. But her muscles were still achy and her nerves could still remember the inflictions. "What else could I do?"
Jack didn't have a straight answer. He couldn't help but stare at her with astonishment. He couldn't think of anyone who would dare run into the middle of a battlefield between two raging Alphas, knowing they couldn't defend themselves, just to talk to them. The three scars on her arm were still healing and he couldn't help but feel frustrated. It was amazing that Dresden hadn't taken it upon himself to lock her up entirely. She seemed to always be getting hurt.
"I'm going to visit Ollie and see how my brothers are doing, if anyone asks."
"I don't think that's a good diea just yet, Julie." He argued weakly. "Just because you were able to stop a fight doesn't mean you're welcomed there." She shrugged.
"If I just sit around here, I'll go insane." Jack couldn't find it in him to say no. More and more, she was turning into a little sister. She was becoming someone he was weak against. He let out a relunctant sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I'll let them know." She smiled, kissing his head before adjusting the pillow behind him.
"Don't push yourself too hard." He snorted as she left, rolling his eyes.
"I can't even breath without the she-beast looking over my shoulder." He thought aloud, reaching for his soda.
"What about me?" He jumped, looking up to see Sheila exit the kitchen and mentally cursed as she glared down at him.
Julie reached Ollie's pack house a little later, surprise to see it was white. Tall and wide, it stood out from the woods around it but it wasn't much different from her own pack house. It had a bigger backyard and more florals around it. Someone had been taking good care of the lawn. On the front porch, a few of the pack members growled and glared at her. She paused just before the first step, momentary fearing further entry. She took a breath to calm her nerves. They had no point in attacking her.
"Is the Alpha around?" She asked, looking at them with patient eyes. They stared back at her and for a moment, she thought they weren't going to let her in. Then they nodded and waved her up, granting her entrance. She eyed them cautiously before stepping up and walking through the front door. As soon as she was inside, she was tackled with a pair of arms and instantly recognized Andy.
"I'm so sorry about that night." He whispered in her ear, hugging her tightly against him. She smiled, hugging him back, missing his warmth. Her chest ached and she didn't want to let go. She finally felt safe after days of feeling unnattached. He let her hug him until she gathered the strength she needed, smiling gently at her.
"Its fine," She pulled away, wiping away a few tears. "Any news?" He shook his head and then she was distracted by movement behind Andy. Zach slowly walked into the room, looking like a complete mess. Agony was written all over his face as he glanced down at her apologetically. She hesitated, wondering if he would want to see her or not. She couldn't help herself.
"I'm sorry," He mumbled, accepting her hug weakly. "For telling you about Dresden, for not trusting you, for accusing you. I'm just so sorry." She nodded her head, understanding how difficult apologizing was for him. He's never had a reason to say sorry to her before but even under normal circumstances with others, saying sorry was a difficult thing for him.
"It's fine." She told him, giving him a smile. "And thanks for telling me. I should've known it from the start." He shook his head, staring down at her.
"No, Julie. That's something I shouldn't have treaded on. It wasn't my place or my business to tell you. Dresden should've been the one to do it. He probably had a reason for keeping it from you." She faltered, her heart aching.
"Is Ollie here?" She changed subjects. "I want to try and clear things up."
"I'm here." Ollie made her jump. He was leaning against the door frame of the living room to her right. His arms were folded across his chest and he still wore the clothes from the fight. He hadn't slept at all since then and she could tell. "Come in."
She followed him into the living room and sat across from him while he took up the entire couch, lying in misery. Her heart ached for him. She was empathic towards him, feeling depressed with him. It wasn't in an Alpha's nature to show stress so easily and Ollie was oozing the pure definition of stress.
She cleared her voice, deciding not to focus on it. "Why did you think Dresden had your sister, sir?"
"An ally of mine said he saw her with Dresden to the south from her, further into Dresden's territory." He answered with a sigh, closing his eyes. "Also a pack under my protection in the north claimed that Dresden attacked them."
"I thought Dresden was your only ally?" Zach sat next to her, leaning back with a sigh while his twin took to standing behind the loveseat.
"This was a different ally." He explained.
"He's from further up north. His name is Ian and he's a very-"
"Ian?" Julie jumped on the name, her voice higher and full of surprise. "His name's Ian?"
"Do you know him?" Ollie asked, opening his eyes to look at her. Julie shook her head, her brain working to fit the pieces together.
"No but that's the Alpha Jack's attackers followed..." She explained.
"The thing about that is that we were told Jack was checking Trisha. Ian was suspicious he was going to kill her off. Although we heard Jack had been attacked, none of us saw him being attacked or looking hurt so we ddin't believe that rumor." Andy explained, staring at his sister. She had looked more exhausted than the previous night. Her eyes were tired with bags and he could see her blink constantly, as if trying to fight off sleep. He knew instantly she wasn't taking care of herself. As he watched her, a sudden realization came over her features and she sat up immediately.
"Quick! Call Rose! Make sure she's okay!" She begged him, gripping his sleeve. Andy fumbled in his pockets for his phone, Zach copying his moves.
"What's wrong with Rose?" Ollie asked in confusion, sitting up.
"Jack couldn't say much because he was too weak at the time and I didn't think of it this morning. But when I asked him what had happened, he mentioned Ian and Rose together but I couldn't figure out why. There must be a connection between the two."
"Rose?" Andy's voice came, sounding a little skeptical on his phone. Zach slipped his back into his pocket and listened in carefully, making sure that Rose sounded alright. He already had one sister going through a struggle which he didn't help much. But he didn't need another sister to be on the same page. "Nothing, it's just...do you know an Ian at all?"
Julie sighed, letting Andy work out the details as she turned back to Ollie. He looked back at her and rubbed his face. "What are you going to do now?"
"I really hate to apologize to that bastard." He mutterd, running his fingers through his hair. "We'll just gather as much information on Ian as we can. You should do the same. I'll call Dresden later to exchange information." She nodded, smiling at him before standing up.
"Can I ask you for a favor?" He stared up at her, curious to hear. "Don't fight him by yourself. He's caused us just as much trouble." Ollie chuckled, nodding his head. Zach led her to the front door, seeing her out.
By the time Julie got back home, she felt her strength drain. Her heart melted to a bitter form of nothingness and she felt like the world had turned to just black and white. She dreaded going inside, having to focus all of her attention on avoiding her Alpha. She had a greater chance of running into him, now that she was granted freedom around the house.
"Julie!" She jumped, looking to find Dresden staring at her with concern in his eyes. She knew he was angry that she left without telling him but she could see he was trying to hold it back. She was grateful but at the same time, she was upset that she couldn't avoid him.
"I'm fine. Ollie says he's sorry. Ian's the one who lied to him about you keeping Trisha and Ian beat up Jack to make it seem like Jack left to go take care of Trisha. Rose may or may not know who Ian is but my brothers were questioning her when I left. He asks that we find out what we can about Ian to help him find Trisha. He also said he will call you later to discuss things." She told in one breathe, surprising him. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to hold himself back from his urges to focus on the situation. Julie didn't fail to notice.
"Okay," He said. "Thanks for playing messenger." She nodded and then hesitated on leaving. She opened her mouth to say something and Dresden so much wanted to hear what she was thinking. But then she left, making her way to the living room. He wanted so much to grab her, hold her and to kiss her. He wanted so much to make her his and yet, he couldn't do it. He hated himself. He's never felt such self-loathing. He's never wanted to kill himself so badly. He just couldn't get over damaging what he had finally gained with his mate.
Julie sighed heavily, sitting down next to Jack on the floor. She wished she could have stayed at Ollie's house a little longer, to reconnect with her brothers and to gain some of her spirit back. But she knew his pack was tense enough with Trisha gone. Her being there wouldn't have made things easier. Now, she was stuck with thinking about nothing except Dresden.
She replayed their argument at least a dozen times in her mind. Her heart felt rage and pain with every sentence and she went in circles with her thoughts, trying to find a definite excuse that would give her some hope. But she couldn't find it. If Dresden had wanted to accept her as his mate, he would've told her in the beginning. He would've told her the truth. Instead, he just acted like a friend. He protected her like a friend and he looked after her like an Alpha. He didn't make any moves, didn't say anything that would suggest he accepted her as his mate. Unlike her, who was intrigued by him. She admired his muscles, his eyes. She was grateful for his care and she found herself trusting him more than ever. She felt warmth being next to him, hearing his voice. And his laugh made her realize. This entire time - ever since he locked her away in his bedroom - she had grown to like him.
And now, she just felt played. She felt so stupid, so childish. Here she was, seriously struggling with herself over her crush for her Alpha who she thought already had a mate with someone else, and the entire time he's just been playing with her, keeping secrets and calling her ugly in front of her.
"Is your mate on your mind?" Jack asked her and she glared at him, her heart aching at the term.
"No," She lied, leaning her head back. "Thankfully, my nightmares have ceased."
"Really?" He asked, staring at her from the corner of his eyes. "Why do you think that is?"
"They just stopped." She shrugged. "New ones are appearing now." He frowned at her, not wanting her to just blatantly shrug off his question. He wanted her to think hard about it. She needed to realize that it was thanks to Dresden that she was able to get better, stronger and have less nightmares. But the fact was that new ones were appearing. It threw his hope of her seeing the truth right out of the window.
"New nightmares?" He sensed Dresden sneaking in the kitchen and decided to get Julie going with this. The sooner his Alpha made up with his mate, the better it was for the rest of them. Without Jack, Dresden would never be able to do it on his own.
"Ones about Miranda," she sighed. Jack retraced his thoughts, looking for anything attached to the name Miranda.
"Who's Miranda?" Julie sat up and rubbed her face, wanting to forget about her nightmares completely. She only asks Fenrir for one night of a prefect, dreamless sleep. That was all she wanted.
"Just someone I used to know." She mumbled, looking up at him. He was leaning up against the arm of the chair, his free arm used as a pillow with his legs stretched over the entire couch. "Are you comfortable like that?"
"Well, to tell you the truth sweetheart, I'd be much better with a fluffy pillow and a hot babe fussing over me." She smiled at him.
"What happened to Sheila?" He groaned, not wanting to remember it.
"She's mad at me right now." She laughed, shaking her head.
"Well, since I don't have much to do, I'll look after you although I'm not hot. But I won't be fussing over you either." He chuckled, grinning at her.
"Who says you're not hot? A chick with scars on her arm and who looks like she could use a little more sleep? Definitely sexy." He winked at her as she rolled her eyes.
"No flirting."
"Fine, make my healing process a complete bore." He pouted. "Let's talk about you then." Julie frowned, sinking lower to the ground as if it would swallow her whole.
"What about me?"
"Why are you mad at Dresden for being your mate?" She scoffed, glaring at the television set in front of her.
"As if you didn't hear our argument." He nudged her, making her turn to him. He could see in her eyes that there was more going on in her head than just a petty argument. She was more bothered about one thing than everything she seemed to be bothered about.
"You know him better than that, Julie. He was going to tell you sooner or later." She stared at him, attempting to find something to argue with.
"I know," She admitted. He adjusted his position, wincing. He let out a groan, wishing he could find those four bastards that did this to him and kick their asses to Hell and back.
"Then why don't you forgive him already?" She sighed, ignoring his pain and pulling her legs to her chest.
"It hurts," She revealed. "Jack, I don't trust easily. Not with what I've gone through. I felt so...vulnerable without my wolf. I didn't have my instincts to help me learn to trust someone. And when I told him the truth, he said no more secrets. But he kept such a big thing from me. I feel like I've been stabbed in the back. While I've been completely opened with him, struggling with it, he's been keeping secrets from me, holding back."
Julie was on the verge of tears, letting her real emotions show. Jack could feel Dresden cursing in the kitchen, wanting to vent out his frustration. He sighed, rolling his eyes at his Alpha and ruffling his Alpha mate's hair.
"Julie, he didn't keep it from you because he wanted to. He did it to protect you." She stared up at him in confusion. He was baffled. "Come on! You were going through such a rough time. You were always terrified of him and of us along with everything in between. Honestly, I think the only things that didn't terrify you were your brothers and math tests. And not to mention this whole mating season! If he had told you, you'd feel terrified to be in the same room as him. How could he tell you when you were so afraid?"
Julie let the words sink in slowly, thinking of ways she might have acted had Dresden told her sooner. Jack was right. She would have been terrified to be anywhere near Dresden. She wouldn't have even considered telling him her sin. It would have been too risky to tell him and have him toss her out like a bag of garbage. Instead, he kept it from her. She came out clean and he accepted her for it - despite the severity of her crime.
She buried her face in her lap, hating that she had to go through this without her wolf to guide her.
"I forgive him," She admitted, mumbling in her lap. "I just need some time to get over it."
"Good, glad to hear it." He ruffled her hair, understanding her struggle. "Now, about that pillow?" She let out a smile while nodding her head, standing up to head for his room. "Don't touch anything else!" He yelled after her.
Dresden exited the kitchen, leaning up against the doorframe into the living room. He stared blankly at the ground, Julie's words at the front of his mind. Jack stared at him, rolling his eyes.
"Told you holding off on that face was bad voodoo."
"Thanks," Dresden said. "I owe you." Jack nodded, adjusting his position and sitting up.
"Yeah," He agreed through clenched teeth. "Just remember that when you're thinking about kicking my ass next time."
"Do you think she'll forgive me by the time this all blows over?" Jack looked up at him, surprised to hear the vulnerability in his Alpha's voice.
"Nah, you're too much of a jackass to care for your own beta. She'll make you suffer a little bit until next year." Dresden rolled his eyes, sensing Julie return. He disappeared back into the kitchen as Jack looked up at her, clutching a pillow in her arms. "Aw, thank you cupcake. Can I have that fussing babe now?"