(TW: Nightmares, anxiety attack)
Sirius Black is a proud boy. He is proud of how far he has come in life, proud of his sexuality, proud of himself for being different than his family.
Even though he has come so far, night mares of his past still haunt him.
~Sirius' POV, Dream~
Screams. That's all I can hear. I know that's scream. It's reg. He's some things wrong, he's hurt, some one is hurting him.
I run through the halls of my childhood home, searching for my little brother.
When I find him, my knees go weak. Reg is laying on the ground, bleeding from a wound on his stomach. I stumble back, into the next room. Remus is in there, in a similar condition but not moving. I drop to my knees beside my boyfriend.
"Remus? Remus?!" I say. my vision blurs with tears. My heart is beating out of my chest, the walls are closing in on me. I can't breathe, I can't BREATHE-
~I should stop before I get carried away, after dream~
I bolt up in bed, taking a minute to figure out where I am. My chest hurts. I still can't breathe. Tears pour down my cheeks as a choke on the sobs wracking my entire body. I curl up into a ball, hugging my knees close to my chest. My fingernails dig into my palms, probably drawing blood, in an attempt to ground myself. I know I'm falling apart, but I can't stop. I try to do the breathing exercises Remus taught me, but I just can't catch my breath. Everything is blurry with tears.
My teeth dig into my bottom lip as I bury my head in my knees.
Then my curtains open. My first reaction is to run, but there's a gentle hand catching me by my wrist.
"Sirius. Sirius, baby can you hear me?"
I stop moving. Remus.
I slowly nod my head.
Remus crawls into the bed, sitting on his knees in front of me. Every muscle in my body is tense, and I still feel like I need to run.
"Breathe, Siri," I can't. I can't do what he wants me to, my chest hurts too bad. "It's alright, baby. Just try and breathe with me, okay?" I can do that. I can try.
"It for four," He says the step. I breathe in for four seconds, but I can't hold it in. I look up at Remus, my vision blurred with tears. His face is soft and calm.
"It's okay. Try again," I try again, and I get through the exercise this time. I feel my head clear again as I repeat the steps. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.
"Good job, baby. I'm so proud of you," That helps me calm down even more. I take a deep, shaky breath, some of the tension in my shoulders dissipating.
"Th-Thanks, Rem," I manage to stutter out.
"No problem, sweetheart," Remus' voice is so soft and sweet, not a hint of annoyance or deceit in what he says. I'm still trembling and crying, but those three words really help me calm down.
Remus gently takes my hands. I let him, but I can't quite look up into his eyes.
"Tell me five things you can see," Remus says, his thumbs rubbing over my knuckles. I look around, very familiar with this grounding exercise.
"Curtains, duvet, door, carpet, the dumb reindeer on your jumper,"
Remus chuckles, rolling his eyes.
"Four things you can feel," He says. I think for a moment, venturing out with one of my hands.
"Your hand, sheets, my socks, your hideous Christmas jumper," I say, wiggling my toes. I grin when Remus rolls his eyes again.
"Three things you can hear," He chuckles.
"James snoring, the wind, the fire," I say, Tilting my head to the side like a dog. Remus smiles.
"Two things you can smell,"
"You're shampoo, James' cologne," I say. My senses of smell and hearing are both really sharp because of my animagus form.
"One thing you can taste," Remus is smiling, his eyes are soft. That makes me relax a little more.
"A terrible taste in my mouth in result of drinking milk before bed," I feel better. My hands are still trembling, but I've stopped panicking. Remus leans forward and kisses my forehead.
"Do you want to go back to bed?" Rem asks, tucking my hair behind my ear. I nod my head, making grabby hands for him.
Remus chuckles. He gets up and wraps me up in his arms, holding me in his lap. I giggle when a kiss is pressed to my neck. I crawl off of my boyfriend and lay down, tugging on his jumper sleeve. Remus chuckles and pulls the blanket up over us, laying down beside me. I curl up to his chest, burying my head in his warm jumper.
"I love you," Remus murmurs. His fingers are running through my hair, pulling me even more.
"I love you too, moons," I reply, intertwining our legs. Usually it's hard for me to fall asleep after a nightmare, but this feeling of protection and love is still fairly new to me. Normally, I take care of my nightmares on my own. But, since remus and I started dating, he's here now too. And he never leaves, even when I have major nightmares. This one was an average nightmare.
Before I know it, I'm falling asleep, wrapped in love and warmth.