There was Georgia S. Harper standing in front of me. I can't believe I didn't recognize her at first. The S in her name stood for Sabrina, and from there she went by Bri. I instantly remembered the time that I was between Tina's legs and she called out for Bri, instead of me. I clenched my fist tightly, but I took a deep breath. It's not her fault that Tina decided to cheat on me. It doesn't matter whether she knew about me or not; she never promised her loyalty to me. "Sorry, I'm just a little.... off today. Uh, are you ready for the mixer?"
"Uh, yeah. Are you... okay?" She leans forward to whisper in my ear. "Look, are you bipolar or something? You should come to my office and get evaluated."
I try my best not to roll my eyes. "No, Dr. Harper. Look, just make yourself at home 'til the guest of honor gets here, 'kay?" I fake smile at her and walk off. I'm still a little put off by the flashback that I had, and I'm also a little pressed that she's a doctor. I mean, if she cheated on me with someone doing worse than me, I would make fun of the other person but be angry at Tina. Now that I know she messed with somebody doing better than me, I was pissed. I shouldn't even be mad at her for it, but I was.
I would get assigned to my damn ex. Of course I would be the one to match up my ex's side chick up with her again. My life has been full of fuckery since I graduated. It makes perfect sense as to why Tina and Bri were attracted to each other in the first place. I had to have seen something in Bri's profile that made her compatible with Tina. I wouldn't have consciously put the two back together. But then I remembered something. Bri noted that she was generally the laid-back, chill type. She's less likely to sweat the small stuff. Tina will freak out if everything is not perfect. She needs someone to keep her grounded. A person with a personality like Bri's could totally do that. I think the stars are telling me something. Maybe Tina was supposed to be with Bri all along. Well, I'm not one to stand in the way of love. So, I'm going to be on my best behavior today. I was aware that I was lying to myself, but I needed to in order to not freak out.
I thought about exacting my revenge on Bri and just throwing the hands right here and now. But then I'd be just like Sydney and I just told her to control her emotions. I knew I had to grow up. Why would I want to square up over an ex? I mean, hello, I'm in another relationship. Chez would probably hate me if she found out I was fighting over an ex. So, I'll be rational. The only person I'm gonna punch is whoever is sending me all this love-sick bullshit to my house. This morning, there was some chocolates at my door. I enjoyed those very much. As long as that person keeps sending chocolate, I might be okay with all this.
To help me get through today, I helped myself to a glass of wine at the mixer.
"Okay, y'all, listen up!" I commanded the audience to quiet down and listen to me. "Today, we are here for this beautiful lady right here, Christina Turner."
Tina walks up besides me and smiles until she sees Bri. She looks at me with a little annoyance, but only I noticed it. Oh God, she recognizes her. I continue with the rest of the speech and rules and such, and begin to walk off to the sideline, where Sydney and Mike are. Right before I reach them, Tina taps me on the shoulder. "Can I speak with you, please?"
"About what? This is your mixer. Everyone is waiting on you." I said, dismissively.
"Yeah, but you matched me with Bri? Seriously? Are you still mad about what happened?" she asked, arms folded.
"No, Tina. That shit was forever ago." I lied, as I chugged down some more wine.
"Did you think that would be funny, Mick? C'mon, now. I was serious about finding love. Why do you have to ruin it for me?" she asked in exasperation.
"Whoa, I did not do that shit knowingly. But you know what this means, though, right? Y'all are meant to be together. Maybe you were supposed to be with her instead of me. Now, go." I said, slightly pushing her towards the group.
She shook her head at me and went to join the group.
By the end of the mixer, I was a damn mess. I was drunk, but I still knew what was going on. I didn't understand why I felt the need to be intoxicated. I believed I was totally over Tina, so I thought I could watch her flirt with other people. I hated that my feelings were betraying me. I mean, who the fuck gets drunk off of wine? I'd broken my own 2-glass rule! This was something serious.
At the end of the night, Sydney was sitting with me at my house. "Yo, you okay?" she asks, with concern.
"I'm fine. You can go home." I say, plainly.
"Nah, you need somebody with you."
"Whatever. I just can't believe that shit went down like that, though." I say, shaking my head.
"Me and Mike heard what you and Tina were saying. What was that all about?"
I try to sit up as straight as I can on my couch. "Remember when I told you that I was eating her out and she called somebody else's name? Bri? She was there. Tina thought I did that shit on purpose, Syd. I didn't even want to match her with anyone else because..... because I'm not over her, I don't think. I've tried and tried to convince myself that I am, but I'm not.
"Dyke drama! God!" Syd exclaims in annoyance. "What are you gonna tell Chez?"
"What is there to tell, Syd? Huh? I'm never gonna get back with her, so there's no need to alarm Chez." I start to tear up. "I'm just gonna... cry it out and get over it."
"No, don't cr-.. why are you crying?"
I couldn't even say anything. I was too busy crying out all of my emotions that I kept bottled up about this whole Tina situation. What the fuck was I doing, being a matchmaker? I couldn't even get my own affairs in order. I'm with Chez now and even though I had strong feelings for her, I felt like I was getting some of the feelings I had for Tina back. Earlier I was convinced I was in love with Chez, but it was probably more like lust. All of a sudden I lay my eyes back on Tina and I don't know how to fucking act. I didn't know how either of them truly felt about me and was slightly depressed about it. I know it's as simple as asking but I'm not that kind of bitch, anyway. I just wanted to get to the end of all this damn confusion.