"I just wish I could have loved him... the way I love you" Taehyung says out loud.
Jimin, however, only thinks it. He looks at Yoongi and then at the laptop on the coffee table beside them and remembers exactly who had been on the screen just moments earlier. Jungkook, Yoongi's boyfriend Jungkook.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Yoongi whispers, gripping the boys hand tighter. Jimin shakes his head and slowly pulls away from the boy.
"I understand if you're upset. I came into your life knowing more about your boyfriend's work environment and chose not to tell you anything. While you were in the dark suffering, I was hiding things that could have comforted you. I could have told you that Taehyung is an amazing person, that he'd never hurt Jungkook in any way. I could have told you that Namjoon was a superb manager and would protect Jungkook. I could have told you that Seokjin hyung would care for Jungkook like he was his son and that Hoseok would never make him feel sad. But I didn't. I was selfish, I AM selfish. I was afraid of my own problems and history and you suffered for it. I'm sorry hyung, please forgive me" Jimin stands up off the couch abruptly and bows, begging the elder to forgive him. Yoongi stays silent as he stares at the top of the younger male's head. Slowly he shakes his head.
"No." Yoongi spits. Jimin straightens himself up but his posture is sad and defeated.
"I understand" He whispers, voice shaking from trying so hard not to cry.
"You lied to me. You didn't just keep information from me, you lied to me. Telling me that you heard about the drama from work when I'm sure you got it from someone in the company. You didn't cut ties, even after what happened. And then you try to keep Jungkook from going back, even though you loved it there too. Every decision you've made since we met doesn't add up. First you say you're dream is to be a director but you had left that dream behind to be Taehyung's assistant, then you try and convince my boyfriend to not go back, to not be in a position that once made you your happiest. How does that make any sense? Are you trying to make Taehyung fail? Are you angry with him for saving your life?" Jimin clenches his fists.
"Stop it" He says through clenched teeth. Hoseok's voice echoes in in his mind.
"Are you trying to sabatoge us or something? Haven't you done enough?! You can't continue to make Taehyung fail."
Yoongi knows he struck a nerve but he was too upset to care.
"What did Taehyung do that was so horrible you can't talk to me about it? What did he do!?"
"He was hospitalized trying to save me and ruined everything! If he had just let me die he wouldn't have had to cancel his tour. It took two years for him to recover properly and that's when he started recruiting again, that's when he hired Jungkook. Everyone was out of a job for two years... because of me. I warned him. I warned him and he didn't listen. I told him before I locked myself in the bathroom that if anything ever happened to me that he had to watch out for himself and ignore my actions but he didn't."
"Don't you dare accuse me of being the reason Taehyung failed" Jimin can hear himself yelling at Hoseok and he's overwhelmed with guilt. It is his fault. Jimin had filled the tub to the point of flooding, his desperate need to end himself drowning out the incessant knocks coming from the door.
"Jimin you're flooding the hotel room! Jimin open the door!" Taehyung's plea floods his mind and he grips his head tightly, falling onto his knees on the floor. Yoongi grabs him just in time before his head can hit the glass table.
"Jimin!" One last scream from Taehyung makes the door come tumbling down. He rushes in and the linoleum of the floor slips from under his feet, causing him to slide and crash into the porcelain tub, shattering his femur and 11 other bones in his foot. He didn't care though. All he cared about was getting his boyfriend out of the tub. In agonizing pain he lifts himself up and reaches into the murky depths of his boyfriend's early grave. With all his strength he grips down onto what feels like an arm and lifts upward, pulling the boy's face above the water and body over the side.
"Jimin!" Yoongi shakes the boy but he doesn't leave his trance, only falls deeper into it.
"What happened?!" Hoseok runs to Taehyung's side as he lays in a hospital bed, leg hung up in a cast and face bruised from the fall.
"Ah I slipped. I'm such a klutz. Jimin got the bathroom floor all wet and I was running around and slipped. No big deal." Jimin hangs his head and bites his lip at the lie.
"This isn't my fault, Taehyung screwed himself over this time" Jimin begins to sob uncontrollably.
It is his fault. Everything is his fault. Suicide only affects other people, never the person killing themselves.
"It's my fault" Jimin cries. Yoongi pulls the orange haired boy onto his lap and rocks him back and forth. All his previous anger is melted away when the truth is revealed. He's guilty. He can't face his ex-lover because he's guilty.
Jimin has been facing his guilt with angered, anger towards Taehyung for saving him, for forcing him to continue living a life of misery and sadness. When he left the company, he felt better. He was less stressed about the need to stay thin, the stress to be perfect, the stress to constantly be with a two-faced boyfriend. There was Taehyung, the loving and sensitive boyfriend who was an amazing comforter, and then there was V, his mentor and boss. Taehyung couldn't separate his personalities. Leaving made everything better and the depression washed away, pursuing his dream washed it away. Being with Yoongi...
"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault but fate. If none of this had happened we wouldn't have met right?" Yoongi tries to convince the boy that his past isn't as horrible as it sounds and that the present is what he should focus on. Jimin turns around in the boy's lap and looks him in the eyes, examining Yoongi's thoughts through them.
"They'll never forgive me" Yoongi uses his shirt to wipes away Jimin's tears. His face is red and blotchy but Yoongi can't help but crack a small smile. Jimin looks adorable in his current position, his face look's like a baby's after a tantrum and the glistening fro the tears makes his eyes shimmer.
Yoongi takes the time to admire how handsome the boy really is. Aside from his slight baby face he truly is incredibly good looking. His hair is soft and glossy, his face is porcelain and flawless, and his arm muscles are extremely prominent through his muscle shirt.
"I forgive you" Yoongi whispers, hand on his chin and thumb gliding over the younger's bottom lip.
"Hyung" Jimin whimpers. Yoongi's smile is soft, delicate, and nearly invisible if it weren't for the proximity.
"Stay here tonight. I don't want you to be home alone. Not after having to relive all this." Yoongi says sternly. Jimin nods his head and gets off the boy's lap.
"Let me just go out and get us some food. It's the least I can do" Jimin grabs his keys and gives a weak smile to the blonde before heading out to go pick up some house ramen.
*
"Hyung" Jungkook sighs as Taehyung speaks his confession. Biting his lip he pushes away from the boy and sits on the carpet in the lonely hallway.
"I know I know, you have a boyfriend. I get it. But that doesn't make my feelings for you any less real. I just needed so say that." Taehyung sniffles and wipes his face on his sleeve.
"Whenever you say that, it just makes it increasingly difficult to stay away." Jungkook confesses, staying completely still and refusing to look up at the handsome male's face.
"Jungkook, do you have any feelings for me?" Taehyung gets closer to the boy who simply stands up and crosses his arms. The boy shakes his head in response and Taehyung refuses to believe it to be true. The elder stands up as well and forces the proximity to decrease.
"Jungkook don't lie to me, you're incredibly easy to read. I'm not asking you if you do or don't love Yoongi hyung, that doesn't matter to me right now. I'm only asking you whether you have any feelings, even remotely, for me. Remember, you kissed me back. It wasn't one sided, you enjoyed it for at least a second. Please, I just need to know I'm not alone in this and-" Jungkook grabs Taehyung's face and kisses him hard, shutting up whatever other words he was going to use to further convince the boy that his answer was a lie. What he said was enough.
Taehyung's eyes widen in surprise as he feels the boy's smooth lips press against his slightly chapped ones. Getting into he moment his eyes flutter closed and he melts into Jungkook's touch, running his hands along the boy's chest and down to his hips. His long slender fingers grip Jungkook's hips and his thumbs press into the socket's formed by the boy's V cut. Jungkook moans into the kiss and bites Taehyung's lips to get him to stop but taehyung perceives this as as a green light to continue, moving his hands to the small of Jungkook's back and snaking his way under the boy's shirt.
Never in his life has he been able to feel the skin of a man's back or abs, Jimin never let him. The thought makes him greedy and he pulls Jungkook's shirt higher and higher up his body.
"No" Jungkook growls as he pushes the boy away, talking to himself rather than Taehyung. He glances at the laptop on the ground by Taehyung's feet and leans down quickly to grab it. Not only is it the boy's only access to his boyfriend but it is also a reminder that he actually has a one. But as he looks up at Taehyung who has a saddened expression painted on his face, he can't seem to decipher if what he did is right or wrong. It feels right, oh so right, but he knows that it's wrong. He cheated on his boyfriend once again and he knew the guilt would eat away at him if he didn't confess.
But how could he? His boyfriend was at home being 100% loyal while he was here kissing another man, and enjoying it at the same time. Yoongi doesn't deserve to feel like he was being betrayed.
So as Jungkook walks away from a frozen magician, he vows to keep his mouth shut and to never let his desires get in the way of his commitment to the love of his life.
Min Yoongi.
*A/N* I've got nothing to say so here.