*With the new year, I'm going to begin starting my chapters with something I've seen before, but never tried myself. I'm going to include 3 new songs I'm enjoying that week, that may or may not relate to the chapter. I listen to a lot of Australian and UK artists, so you may start loving some new music*
This weeks song picks;
Stand By You- Rachel Platten
Wild- Troye Sivan
Eyes Shut- Years & Years
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Jen's POV
They say home is where the heart is- whether it's a physical structure, or in the comfort of another person, wherever your heart belonged, was where you were meant to be.
Although I was almost 17,000 kilometres away from my city, I'd never felt more safe and home than I did right now, standing in the embrace of my boyfriend and my daughter.
Watching him overcome with emotion over seeing us, filled the emptiness in my heart I had been living with for the past three weeks. It may not have been that long, but when you were as in love with someone as I was with Harry, three weeks was the equivalent to three months.
"How long are you here for?" He asked me, oblivious to the crew surrounding us, waiting to begin what should have been my interview with all the boys.
"I don't have a return flight, and there's nothing back home to return to, so however long you want us here, we will stay."
"If I had it my way, I'd want you both with me the whole time, but I don't expect you to stay that long, so don't feel pressured."
Selfless, as usual, always putting other people's needs before his own. A quality I loved in him, but always wished he could switch off, and be selfish and tell me what he wanted without giving me options.
"If you want us here the whole time, then we'll be here the whole time. It will be nice to catch up with the girls while I'm in the country, as well as your family, and I guess since I'll be coming to LA with you, we can see Gemma and Angus."
"Oh so that's why you're staying? To see Angus, I see your little plan, you're not fooling me," he laughed.
"No! I'm here for you," I defended myself.
"I know you are baby, relax, I missed getting you wound up," he kissed my temple, before Louis came over to meet Mia for the first time.
"Pictures really don't do this one justice do they, what a looker," he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Oh and the baby is absolutely precious," he laughed at his own lame attempt at buttering me up.
"Go and get yourself a girlfriend, and leave mine alone eh?" Harry frowned at him, which made me laugh a little at how bothered he got over other men complimenting me.
"Your lady deserves the compliment, you look incredible for someone who just had a baby," he looked me up and down, praising my post baby weight loss.
"I'm no where near my goal, you should see what I look like under the clothes, you'd be spinning a different story."
"There will be none of that, and I'll be the judge of that later tonight," Harry interrupted us, in true Harry form.
"You do look amazing babe, and look at this little one, she's gorgeous," Liam joined us now, and Niall quickly followed.
"Guys, we really need to get this interview done, then we have an hour between the next lot of press," one of the crew called out.
"I don't want to put her down," Harry pouted, giving her a kiss before handing her back to Ava.
"The sooner we get this done, the sooner you can have her back. Before we start though, what do you think about announcing her birth during our interview? It's going to come out eventually, and this way we both have a say in how it's done," I suggested to him when everyone took their positions to begin the interview.
"I really don't want to share her with anyone, but if there was any way to do it, I think this is the perfect chance. You're sure you're ready? Because once it's out there we can't take it back."
"I'm sure, I would rather do it together, than have some stupid paparazzi take photos of us and announce it. Plus it's kind of obvious I'm not pregnant anymore," I pointed up and down my thinner figure than a month ago.
"Alright, let's do it, we better start before they start getting angry," he kissed me again, then lead me to the couches to begin the interview. He sat on the edge of his with the boys, and I sat across from him on my own.
We began the interview off with a little small talk, chatting about what the boys had been up to on their time off. Niall spoke about living in Melbourne over the break, while Liam and Louis spent most of it writing in LA together.
"And what about you Harry? What have you been doing with yourself now that you haven't been touring?" I asked him. It was kind of weird to get into interviewer mode, especially when I knew exactly what he had been doing, but business was business, I had to treat him like anyone else.
"I've been in Melbourne too, I've just got myself a house down there actually, across from the beach. I like to run and keep fit, so I've been taking advantage of the scenery. I've caught up with Niall a fair bit, and we did a lot of writing and recording down there for the album, didn't we mate?" He looked over to Niall.
Harry always managed to keep our interviews professional, even though I'm sure he would have loved to engage in banter with me. He kept a pretty tight lid on his personal life, and I respected him for it.
"Yeah, it's been nice down in Melbourne, it's a change of environment. I don't take those runs with him though, he's too active, he makes me tired just watching him," Niall laughed at his friends dedication to fitness.
"Exercise is not part of my daily routine, that's for sure," I laughed along with him.
"But you look amazing still," he complimented me, and I thought now would be the perfect opening to announce Mia's arrival.
"Well, I have recently lost about five pounds and two ounces, plus an extra ten kilos on top of that, so I do feel a little thinner now, than I did a month ago," I looked to Harry, who was smiling along to what I said.
"Five pounds and two ounces, that's very specific, did you deliver a baby or something?" He played along with me.
"I did, a little girl named Mia."
"What a nice name. I hear she's beautiful, just like her mum," he winked at me, causing me to blush wildly, and nervously tuck my hair behind my ear.
"Okay so are we going to keep playing this game? Or are we going to acknowledge the fact you two had a baby together, and you're smitten with each other?" Liam called us out.
"Well if we're going to be completely honest here, I'm more than smitten- I'm obsessively in love, and extraordinarily happy with my life right now," he answered Liam.
"You know what would be less awkward? Jen swap places with me," he stood up, taking my hand to help me from my seat, pushed me over to sit by Harry, and took my seat across from us.
"What the hell are you doing?" Harry smirked, shaking his head at Liam's sudden actions.
"We may as well do this right, so I'm taking over for a couple minutes. Congratulations on Mia, I've seen her, and she's absolutely precious. When did she come? How was the birth? Give us the gossip..." he encouraged us to open up.
"Erm is this an exclusive? Am I getting paid double for this?" Harry called out in the direction of his team.
"I'm joking- she was born October 4, so a month ago today. I have a whole new appreciation for women now, after the whole child birth experience. It's such a beautiful thing, but obviously it's hard to see your partner go through that pain. She risked her life to bring another into the world, I don't really want to go into detail about the birth, but the happiest moment of my life was watching her hold our daughter for the first time.
It's kind of like everything else you've been through in life, is completely insignificant in comparison to becoming a parent. You created that life in your arms, it's your job to keep that person alive and well, my daughter is kind of the one thing that is truly mine forever. She has my blood running through her, and nothing and no one can change that.
I've never been happier, honestly, cutting all the bullshit and forgetting this is meant to be a professional interview about the album, I love this woman beside me more than anything in this world. She gave me such an amazing gift, that I get to call mine forever. Everyday I count myself lucky that this is my life, and I'm surrounded by the people I am."
If we weren't being filmed right now, I would have taken his face between my hands and kissed him for everything he had just said, but some level of professionalism had to be maintained. So I resorted to squeezing his hand instead, letting him know I loved him for every word he had just spoken.
"I think we can all agree that we haven't seen you this happy before. We're happy for you mate, the both of you...I should let you get back to your interview," Liam laughed, hopping off my chair and switching places with me again.
"Okay so...the album! I've heard it, obviously, and I'm completely in love with it, unbiased opinion of course. Do you each have a favourite song off it?" I got back into the purpose of this interview, happy that the news would be out there now, and we didn't have to worry about the announcement anymore.
"There's a quite personal song on there that I had written," Harry was first to answer. "It's a song about meeting that one person, and knowing they are someone you are willing to give everything up for, if they asked you to.
It's about having someone in your life that knows the real you, the you that only you and them know. You let them in, and they become part of you. It's a song that kind of suggests there is another half to you out there, your soulmate, you let your guard down for them, and you can't live without them.
I think everyone should have someone like that in their life. I was lucky to meet my soulmate at nineteen, and feel that depth of love explained in the song. It's my favourite on the album, because it's everything I want to say to the person it's about, in three minutes and fifty seconds."
I knew which song he was referring to, and that was also my favourite on the album. We never really discussed his lyrics to any of his songs in depth, he got his message across musically, and he knew I understood exactly what he was saying.
I was in such a daze looking at Harry smiling back at me, he had such a captivating stare, I often got lost in what he was saying, and completely forgot what I was even doing. I think Niall picked up on my distraction, and decided to answer the question next, drawing me back to attention.
The interview ended shortly after that, thankfully. All I wanted was Harry to myself, in the privacy of our own room. I knew I had to wait a few more hours for my wish to be granted, but I had waited three weeks for this moment, a little while longer wouldn't kill me, I hoped anyway.
...
Harry's POV
"I still can't wrap my head around the fact you are here, you'll never understand how happy you've made me," I told her again as we pulled up to the hotel the guys and I were staying at, after hours of boring interviews.
"I'm just as happy to be here, I missed you so much. I'm a little sad that the lease was up on your London flat, I would have liked to of gone back to that room. There were a lot of memories made in that bedroom," she rested her head into my chest.
"Good and bad, but this is a chance to have a fresh start in London, without the constant reminders of what happened in that flat."
"That's true...we need to get a cot brought up to our room," she mentioned. It was funny the things we had to organise now. Usually we would be talking about how eager we were to get in that room, and have our way with each other. Now those thoughts were being replaced with the bedding arrangements for our daughter.
"I already organised it before we left the studio. There should be one in there, as well as a stroller and I organised with Ava to have all your luggage brought over too. I'm on top of it all," I assured her.
"Everything but me," she commented. I loved the connection she made between my harmless comment, and her own desires.
"You know that can be easily fixed, say the word and I'm yours," I kissed her gently, holding back a lot of my sexual frustration I had built up over the past month.
"I'll keep that in mind, come on," she nudged me to slide out of the car first, since she was trapped between Mia and I.
"I'll get her out," I helped Jen out the car first, then jogged around, taking Mia's capsule in one hand, and Jen in the other. I was thankful for the underground entrance at this hotel, since there were fans upon fans outside the hotel. They always managed to know where we were, it was insane.
"I'm just going to put her straight to bed, I fed her just before we left so she shouldn't wake up for at least an hour. Or do you want her?" Jen asked me as we walked into our room.
"I love her and never want to pass up an opportunity to hold her, but I really just want to be with you right now. Is that selfish?"
"It's not," she smiled, placing Mia down in the cot, and making her way back to me, wrapping her arms around my body.
"I can't really give myself to you right now, I'm still bleeding really lightly, I'm sorry," she apologised, like it was fault her body was stopping us from being intimate.
"Don't apologise, I told you I don't want to rush you back into things. Your body isn't ready, that's not your fault. When the time is right, it will be perfect, okay?" I cupped her cheeks, letting her know I was completely understanding of the situation.
"I just know how patient you've been, it can't be easy to go from us making love multiple times a week, to nothing at all. I don't want us to become those boring parents that have sex once a month, when we can both squeeze it in."
"Jen, first of all, having you here with me, as opposed to across the world, is all that I need right now. Secondly, I don't think we'll ever be those parents that stop having a sex life. We just have to make the most of the time we have while she's asleep."
She was looking up at me, biting her lip. I knew this look and body language all to well, and normally I would take full advantage of her craving for me, but her health was more important than my need for her.
"There's nothing wrong with kissing is there?" She pressed herself against me, her lips falling just short of mine.
"No there's not," my fingers wrapped into her hair, pulling her face to mine. A fire was lit the second her lips met mine, then all self control was lost. It was like giving an addict just a taste of what they were missing- she was my drug, and I was more than willing to be under the influence of her.
She pulled me towards the bed, falling down on to the mattress with me pressed on top of her. She moaned into the kiss, which was not at all helping with my restraint from ripping her clothes off, and having my way with her.
"I want you so bad," she whispered, trailing her lips down to my neck. Why did she have to say that? That was like opening Pandora's box to me. I was so close to giving into temptation, but I had to try so hard not to. This was pure torture, but I'd managed this long without sex, a week or so more wasn't going to kill me...much.
"You're not ready Jen, I don't want to risk hurting your recovery, just because we're running high on hormones," I denied her, with all the will power I had in my body.
"I can feel how much you're suffering down there Harry, I know you're just trying to do what's best for me, but I want this," she pleaded her case.
"Would you rather do this right now, then potentially have me damage your recovery and extend it? Or wait another week or so, when we know your body is ready for it?" I gave her the options. A selfish man would pick the first, but I wasn't willing to hurt my girlfriend for my own gain.
"Always the sensible one," she groaned. "Well this isn't going to affect my recovery at all," she slid out from under me, flipping me over onto my back.
"Take the shirt off," she instructed me, and I obliged.
"What are you doing?" I questioned her.
"Something you'll enjoy. Just because I can't have sex, doesn't mean you should get nothing," she undid my belt buckle, followed by the zipper of my jeans, sliding them down my legs.
It always entertained me watching her remove the item of clothing, because she always struggled since they were skin tight. Usually she got frustrated mid attempt, but today she did it with ease, throwing them across the room.
"I could always just ride you right now, and you couldn't do a thing about it. I'd love to see you try and stop me once we've started," she bit down on her lip again, winking as she brushed her hand down my chest.
"You are torturous, woman," I grunted.
"I'll be good," she licked down my torso, to just above the waist band of my boxers. I loved when she did that, not only did it feel incredible, but she looked hot as all hell doing it.
She rubbed over my straining area, driving me crazy with anxiousness and impatience. If she kept doing that, this would be over before she ever began, and before I could really even enjoy anything.
"Jen, please come on..." I begged her. I think she enjoyed this, the whole torture of making me wait. I was convinced she loved the game of seeing how long it took for me to start begging for her. She smiled a satisfied grin every time, she got pleasure out of watching my impatience.
"F*ck," I cried out the second she took me into her mouth. Every suck and stroke of her tongue was pure bliss, forcing me closer and closer to my end.
There was nothing I enjoyed more than making love to her, but this, this was something I would never deny from her. Watching her eyes set upon mine while she was pleasuring me, just added to the indescribable feeling she gave me.
"I'm close," I clenched my eyes shut, riding out the high she gave me. I loved this feeling- for a few seconds, I was completely euphoric and vulnerable to her, she had me under her complete control, and I loved that, I craved that.
I didn't know how much I needed her to do that until right now. I thought I was doing fine in pleasuring myself when I needed that release, but there really was nothing like the feeling of her sending me into that state.
"I take it I still have it?" She smirked down at my panting recovering body.
"You'll never lose your touch, that's for damn sure. I know you enjoy it as much as I do," I pulled her down to lay her head against my chest.
"You mean having you fully under my control, and watching what I'm capable of doing to you? Yeah it's alright."
"God, I love you."
"I love you too," she reached up and kissed me, as I laid here thinking about how I got so lucky in life.