Ring..
Don't back out, Alex.
Ring..
It's only Jax.
Ring...
Damn, maybe he's not even going to pick up.
Ring..
He probably doesn't want to talk to me. Who could blame him? I did blurt out his business to Colton and on top of that I got him sent to a hospital.
Ring...
Maybe this isn't such a good idea.
My breath hitched at the stop of the ringing.
"The voicemail box you are trying to reach is current-"
I ended the call.
I sighed in relief and gently fell back against the wall of my bathroom.
Ring...
My head snapped down to look at the phone in my hand. Mom.
I bit my lip and declined the call.
What are you doing Alex? Worrying about a problem that can be easily fixed? Either call him and talk or forget this ever happened.
That's what I would have told myself a year, or even few months ago. Back when I was far more naive to people's feelings. Now, I feel like I.. Owe him a call? No. More like he deserves an explanation. Though it is Jax, chances are he won't give a damn about my apologies or what I have to say.
I chuckled, throwing my phone on the bed.
I feel kinda stupid for trying to talk to him anyway. I can face that problem when I get back home.
I paused, "Fuck." When had I started referring to Florida as my home? Home is where my friends are.. Well friend. Best friend to be exact. Taylor was my closest friend, the sister I never had. Before, wherever Taylor was, that was my home. And Taylor is here, in California.
Jenna, Josh, Xavier, Hayley, and.. Colton.
What were they? Jenna was who I considered to be my closest friend in Florida. Then came Josh who also took the title of being one of my Best Friend's. Xavier and Hayley were also a big part of my life in Florida. They'd been there when I didn't have anyone. Then there was Colton. My old best friend.
I scrunched up my nose. 'Old best friend' something about that just made me feel.. Weird. Old made it sound like I used him then left him for someone better.
Original. That's what Colton is. Colton was my original best friend.
**
As is promised to Taylor, we did talk to Olivia, and within the half hour that we'd talked to her I'd learnt that she has a few problems she needed to solve.
Well first off, she told us about how her dad has come back after having left Olivia and her mother for years. On top of this her boyfriend cheated on her with another.. Well.. Guy. To say Olivia was heartbroken was an understatement.
"He told me he cared about me and would never hurt me but guess what asshole you are hurting me! Look at me! I'm hurt." She grumbled, stuffing a fist full of chocolate caramel popcorn in her mouth.
"Look, just clear your head for a second here okay? Abusing drugs and alcohol the way you are won't do anything except temporary relief and not even that, more like putting off the pain only to have it come punch you in the boob twice as hard when your sweet high is done." Taylor said while thrusting a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.
We decided we would hash things out with girls only junky night in with Leonardo Dicaprio movies.
So far it proved effective.
**
Three days down out of my 5 day birthday trip.
Two days left.
It's been.. Normal. Maybe not normal but natural. I admit I was the tiniest bit worried that I would have a hard time falling back into my usual routine here, but it hasn't been as hard as I originally thought.
I scrolled through Instagram and took a drag from my cigarette.
"Cancer sticks." Colton scrunched up his nose in disgust at the older man lighting a cigarette.
I glanced up at him, my 8 year old mind not understanding what he meant. "It's a cigarette, Colton."
He shrugged, "Mom says it's bad for you."
My mouth formed an 'O', "I'm gonna do that one day then."
He scoffed, glancing down at me. "I wouldn't let you."
I felt a small grin forming at the ends of my lips. Even my eight year old self was a defiant little piece of shit.
"Hey." I heard from behind me and I turned around to see Jackson leaning against my doorframe.
"You smoke." It wasn't a question, It was a statement.
"Once in a while." I looked back out at the glowing stars.
"It's not healthy."
"I don't care."
"Why not?"
"Why should I?"
I felt my grin widen. Still am a defiant piece of shit.
I put out the cigarette.
I sighed, shoving my phone is my pocket and leant back against the balcony over looking the sandy beach.
I remember that day. I remember that conversation.
"Alex.." He sighed exasperatedly.
"Jax.." I mimicked playfully to which he smiled softly.
He walked into my room and sat on my bed leaning on the head board.
"Any particular reason you choose to poison your insides with nicotine?" He asked.
I sighed, "Shits complicated."
"Life's complicated."
"I'm sure it is."
"Stop that." He grunted and I raised a brow turning to look at him.
"What?"
"Stop. That." he repeated.
I was silent as I waited for him to continue.
"Stop shutting people out" He paused then continued "You act as if no one else can ever possibly understand what it is your going through and yet you shut everyone out and make sure no one can see through the real you and you know what? It's because you don't want people to see that your hurting on the inside, That this facade you put on is a show to stop people from seeing the inside, The side that tells a story."
Jax now stood in front of me very close, dangerously close, and now that we were face to face under the glowing light of the stars that shown through the window I could see his expression.
He looked so.. Sad.
I was at loss for words. Especially because I knew that every word Jax spoke was true.
"Honestly Jax? I couldn't care less what people think of me. It's not a front trust me. It's the real me and just because some people can't accept my so called 'Change' doesn't mean it's a front or facade." I paused and looked him in the eyes, "What about you? You leave and suddenly come back all wise and mysterious? What's your story then? huh?" I spat and he shook his head.
I remember saying even more to him. I especially remember what he said next.
"Talk to Colton."
I bit my lip.
How long had it been since I've spent any of my birthdays with anyone from Florida? Years. I'm going to be 18 soon. In three days to be exact. I admit I'm pretty lucky to be able to spend half of it here and the other half in Florida. Oddly enough it makes me happy even.
**
"I'm heading straight for the castle
They wanna make me their queen
And there's an old man sitting on a throne there saying that I probably should be so mean
I'm headed straight for the castle!" I finished doing a jazz hands motion.
Halsey is the love of my life by the way.
"Halsey again?" Taylor groaned, glancing at me from the drivers seat.
"Would you prefer I play Melanie?" I cocked a brow, completely ready to slay her with any Melanie song I picked next.
"I'm in the mood for some Lana." She replied, pulling into a Starbucks drive through.
"Oooh alright I'm ready." I cleared my throat ready to burst into song.
"Don't you fucking dare ruin that angel's beautiful voice with your stupid dying cat like voice you whore." She narrowed her eyes at me before turning to place our orders.
"Oh.." I pouted.
She handed me a vanilla bean frappe.
"Aww Swift, you remembered!" I exclaimed, taking a sip.
She scoffed, "Alex I saw you like two months ago when I went to visit. This isn't a big deal, you haven't been gone even a full school year yet."
"Yo, fuck you."
She laughed and flicked a piece of her chocolate muffin at me, hitting my eyelid.
"Aw fuck, Taylor ow, ow, ow, it hurts you dumb fuck." I muttered cradling my eye.
In my defense it was a pretty big piece and it hit me in the eye.
She burst out laughing. "Alright alright let me see."
I turned towards her but couldn't even fully face her before she stuck the muffin against my mouth, shoving half of it in my mouth in the process.
My head jerked to the side, frantically coughing which wouldn't be heard anyways over the sound of Taylor's hyena type laughter.
I whirled back around, fist raised, ready to punch the shit out of her when she yelped out a desperate plea instead.
"You can't hit me! I'm driving! I'll drive us off a bridge bitch so don't you fucking dare!" She raised a finger towards me and I felt the care swerve ever so slightly.
"Both hands on the wheel fucker! What are you doing?!"
"Okay! I am!" She yelped.
I sighed and sank back into my seat.
"Your going to pay," I started in a low voice. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow." I slowly turned towards her. "But your ass is mine."
She nodded and stayed silent for a moment.
"Your ass is mine." She recited, a smirk slowly creeping at the ends of her lips. "Bet that's something Colton-"
No hesitation.
My vanilla bean frappe now lay all over Taylor's hair and outfit.
I decided she'd pay right now.
~*~
PLEASE READ:
This chapter fucking sucks.
I'm so very sorry for not updating but I've been incredibly busy with school and most recently exams. I'm still not done, at least not until the end of next week. Then hopefully the tension will loosen seeing as school days are coming to a close soon. I know this doesn't completely justify me not updating in over 5 months BUT I will get my act together guys.
Also I will admit that it has been really difficult to write for this book because there are just so many different routes this can take and I'm not sure which to go wit just yet because my ideas are always changing and there are a shitload of possibilities so bare with me porfavor.
I can't stress enough how much I love you guys for sticking with me but I completely understand why some have forgotten about this book. This being said just know I always try my best and still continue too and always will learn new things to be able to better myself at writing because it really is something I love.
I will try to update soon guys <3
Until next time! I bid you beautiful people vanilla bean frappes and shirtless Colton's! MWAH!
~YourWorstNightmare