i'm literally so mad right now my heart is thumping in my chest i stg im gonna kil l someone lololol
my mom always has something to fuckin say about how "disrespectful" i am
where?
like just now, she was helping me pack for new york and she keeps fucking asking me if i packed everything, if i made all my outfits blah blah blah. i'm like yes mom, i made my outfits because she kept nagging me about it and nagging and nagging and i was just like omfg yes i made all my fucking outfits like i got really frustrated and i was then fed up so i said it a little more firmly and then she goes:
"if you don't have all your outfits put together, if you don't have anything to wear then that's it. if you spill something on your clothes im not doing anything."
and then i go busting my ass trying to find outfits and she keeps oN ASKING IF I HAVE ENOUGH OUTFITS AND WHEN I SAY YES SHE KEEPS DENYING IT. so obviously im gonna be mad like do you ever shut up honestly and so i kept telling her yes but i was more annoyed about it and she could hear it and she was stressing me out asking about all this shit about my outfits.
im tryna have a good time like i was pumped as shit for new york and now she wanna go and act like i'm being disrespectful for getting tired of her worrying me about my fuc KING OUTFITS AND THE FACT THAT SHE HAD TO ADD SASS AT THE END LIKE SHUT UP YOU COUL D JUST SAY MAKE SURE U DONT SPILL ANYTHING BECAUSE THEN MY BRAIN WILL GO "oh, i'm probably gna spill something on my clothes." BUT NO, WHEN U JUST HAVE TO SAY "i'm not doing anything" THATS WHEN I FUCKING TURN OFF MY BRAINAND TURN ON MY FRUSTRATION
so then i was muttering under my breath and she's like,
"you need to stop with that muttering under your breath, you know i don't like that and find it very disrespectful."
wELL SoOoOOrRY FOR HAVING AN OUTLET FOR MY FRUSTRATION ? ? ? AT LEAST IM NOT SLAPPING YOU
sO I GO AHEAD AND SAy:
"you're stressing me out, you keep asking me about all my outfits and i have all of them together but you keep rushing me to go find new ones and while i'm finding new ones you start asking me about the other outfits which is stressful."
so she's like:
"you're stressed out? about what? you're not the one paying the bills and blah blah blah"
OKAY I GET THAT WITHOUT YOU I WOULDNT HAVE SHIT AND I SHOULD BE A LOT MORE GRATEFUL THAN I AM NOW BUT THATS LIEKE SAYING THAT NOW I CANT BE STRESSED ABOUT ANYTHING BECAUSE I CANT PAY THE BILLS
im literally cRYING IN FRUSTRATION TEARS ARE STREAMIG DOWN MY FACE IM REALLY PISSED OFF AND THIS ISNT THE END OF THE STORY (im off my period btw so don't assume bullshit)
so i don't remember what i said but we started arguing about my "disrespect" and shit and then i went to the bathroom and i said,
"you make everything stressful."
and then i go back to my room and she's like,
"you know what? i don't even want to go anymore- i should just cancel the whole thing."
and im just like what the fuck because she knows i've been cooped up in my house this whole entire month besides camp and she knows i love the shit out of new york and that im the most eager out of this whole family to go and the fact that she considers denying me access to new york but brings my dad who she hates along really pisses me off like can u STOP
and im like,
"you keep asking me about my outfits! i thought i had everything seat and whatever else i said"
and i had the fiercest look on my face i really felt like killing a bitch and she could tell bc she looked surprised
idk and then more arguing happens and she was like,
"goodnight. i don't need this either" or some bullshit like that while i was laying down in bed waiting for her to get the fuck out of my room and she was like "im tired of the disrespect blah blah blah"
1 - WHAT DISRESEPCT? AM I DISRESPECTING YOU BY TELLING YOU THAT YOURE STRESSING ME OUT WHICH IS TRUE???? YEAH I MUTTERED UNDER MY BREATH BUT AT LEAST I DIDN'T CALL U A BITCH UNDER MY BREATH AT LEAST I DIDN'T TELL U TO GO FUCK YOURSELF
ALL I SAID UNDER MY BREATH WAS "MY GOD" SO I DONT KNOW HOW THATS DISRESPECTFUL TO HER LET GOD HANDLE THA T
2 - EVERYTIME I WANT TO HAVE AN OPINION SHE TELLS ME IM DISRESPECTING HER
3 - YOU SAID U DIDNT WANT TO OVERPACK BUT YET UR OVER HERE MAKING ME PACK ALL THIS UNNECESSARY SHIT SO SIT THE FUCK DOWN IM SO DONE ON THIS ONE
so i was literally about to cry so my voice was all faulty(lmao faulty) and i said,
"i'm not intentionally trying to disrespect you."
and she goes,
"but you are and i'm sick of it."
and then she leaves and then while im pretending to sleep she has the nerve to ask me if i packed my bathing suit and then when i didnt answer she goes "because if you didn't bring your bathing suit then that's fine, you won't have one, i'm sick of the disrespect" liKE THE HOTEL DOESNT EVEN HAVE A POOL AND IF IT DOES THEN I DON'T WANNA SWIM IN IT I WANT TO DROWN IN IT AND I DONT NEED A BATHING SUIT FOR THAT
LIKE IM SO FUCKIGNMAD AND IM CRYING RIHG TNOW BECAUSE EVERYTIME WE ARGUE THEN I GET SHIT BACK FROM MY FAMILY SAYING: "try to make things easier on mom"
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK NOW MY SISTERS HATE ME EVEN MORE THAN THEY DO AND IF MY MOM CANCELS THEN IM NEVER HEARING THE END OF THIS AND I PROABBLY WONT TALK TO MY MOM FOR A WEEK
u know i literally tried running away like im not in a 100% abusive household BUT IM DSO UPSET WITH MY HOME LIFE NOWADAYS I HATE THIS FUCKING SHIT GODDAMN IT
LIKE IM SO MAD BECAUSE I WASNT BEING DISRESPECTFUL AT ALL. I WASNT YELLING AT MY MOM ABOUT THIS SHE WAS THE ONE ACTING LIKE I WAS CUSSING AT HER OR SOMETHING
guys i KNOW THERES MORE I WANT TO WRITE BUT IM LITERALLY SO CAUGHT UP IN MY FRUSTRATIONR IGHT NOW LIKE I CANT EVEN THROW A TANTRUM BC IM TOO WORKED UP
you dont even know how close i am to ending this bullshit ofmfmg im so tired of the same crap fuck this shit
#zuzaf