I found myself back at rock bottom. I haven't left my room for three days now. I stopped eating because I completely lost my appetite. I couldn't even bring myself to leave the bed. Not to shower, pee, or eat. I just wanted to lay in bed until I eventually die.
Not once did my mom attempt to check on me and see if I was okay. I could've been dead for all she knows. She just comes and goes, but when she's here, she just locks herself in her room. I was hurt. How dare she abandon me during my time of need. However, underneath that hurt was anger. I felt it deep inside of me was boiling with rage.
School? That was another joke. I refused to get out of bed and attend. It didn't help that my mom didn't seem to give a fuck whether or not I was going either. Besides, I'm pretty sure they done kicked my ass out for truancy by now. I'm at a point where I don't know if I'll ever go back.
I touched the bags under my eyes, sighing. I can't even remember the last time I slept. I was too afraid to fall asleep and wake up to Brian. I cringed at the thought of him.
I heard the front door open and close. Probably my mom back from another trip to the liquor store. I continued to stare at the ceiling in the dark. A knock on my door startled me causing me to sit up. No one has knocked on my door in days, so I didn't have a clue as to who it was.
I didn't move an inch. I stayed quiet or made no moves to open the door. Maybe I was just hearing shit. But when the doorknob began slowly twisting and turning, I knew I wasn't crazy. Please don't be Brian. My palms started getting sweaty at the thought.
"Laurel, don't play with me. Open up the damn door," the familiar voice said. My body relaxed as I realized it was Tyler. Who I haven't spoken to for a couple of days. I know his ass was probably blowing my phone up, but that shit was broke.
Even if it wasn't, I probably wouldn't have answered regardless. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.
I got off the bed and went to unlock the door. Tyler stood there looking like somebody's momma with one hand on his hip and impatiently tapping his foot. I should've known he was going to pop up sooner or later. Thank God my swollen cheek had gone down and all of the bruises healed. "Awww pooh," Tyler pouted as he pulled me into a hug. I tensed up for a slight second and he must've realized because he let me go.
"You okay?" He looked at me with concern. Patting my rough hair, I stepped to the side to allow him in. "How did you get in?" I asked as I went back to bed.
Walking over to my window Tyler lifted the blinds making my dark room bright again. "I used the hidden spare key." He answered. I squinted from the brightness and quickly threw my blanket over my head. Snatching the blanket off of me, Tyler joined me on the bed before smiling evilly at me.
"Someone is missing you at school." He said which stopped me from cursing his ass out. Furrowing my eyebrows I thought of who it could be.
There's no one I talk to at school besides him. I thought it over again and still came up empty. Finally looking his way, I looked left and right letting him know I didn't know the answer. Sucking his teeth, he finally gave in. "Trigga bitch!"
Hearing the name made me shocked and confused. I had completely forgotten about him since that day. "Mhmm he asked about you too," Tyler smirked.
Thinking back to our last encounter, my eyes grew wide as I remembered our project. "Oh my God, Tyler I forgot about our project!" I covered my mouth with my hand in shock.
"Yup he came up to me in class and I was shocked he even started coming to class too. He approached me smelling good as fuck. You can tell it's that expensive cologne too, not that cheap shit. I almost dropped down to my knees before he could start talking bitch." Tyler fanned himself. Extra ass.
"Anyways he approached my desk asking about you and where you been. I told him you'll be back Monday. You know the word on the street is him and Shaniya broke up. Now she fucking with some other nigga. She be posting and him shit but I know she just tryna make Trigga jealous." He finished. I couldn't help but shake my head. As soon as you miss school, that's when you miss all the good shit.
"And why did you tell this nigga I'll be back Monday? I'm not going." I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to go and face everybody. Who told him to answer for me anyways. "Laurel seriously what's going on with you? I know you just lost your father and he meant the world to you but baby that doesn't mean this is the end. I hate to be that person and bring up a painful reminder but you know your dad would have not tolerated this missing school shit." Tyler lectured.
I sighed remaining quiet letting what he said sink in. As much as I hated to admit it he was right. "I just don't wanna go." I shook my head. I just wasn't feeling it. Physically or mentally. I just didn't have the motivation to do anything. I was a complete mess, literally and figuratively. My hair was crazy, and let me not even get started on my nails and feet.
"Look I love you friend and I mean well but you stank. Literally and figuratively. This is not the Laurel I know. I wouldn't be a real friend if I didn't tell you the truth. So get up." Tyler snatched the blanket off of me completely. "We taking that damn weave out yo head cause it's giving me crackhead. I already told my mom you were coming in today to do your hair. Then we're getting mani/pedis and going to the mall to get a cute outfit for yo nigga. Cause you're going to school." He joked making me throw my pillow at him.
"I don't have no money for all that." I protested. "Bitch I ain't ask for all that just get up. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I got my brother's car for the whole day," He wiggled the car keys. Giving up, I made my way to the bathroom for my first shower in days.
********
Like Tyler said, his mom was waiting for me in her salon. She was the only person I let do my hair because she took care of it. The shop was empty and the music was softly playing from the speakers. Usually, her salon was closed on Sundays but she opened it just for me making my heart feel warm.
"Laurel my baby! How are you doing?" Faith hugged me. She was always so excited to me and had a beautiful aura. She treated me like I was one of her own.
"Momma we need her hair laid. She gotta snatch someone's son on Monday." Tyler told her as he sat in the empty chair next to me. Rolling my eyes at him, I discreetly gave him the middle finger.
"Mhmmm Laurel let me find out." She smirked.
After a much-needed wash and cutting my split ends, my hair was braided down. I got a simple side part sew-in with the bundles straightened to perfection. Tyler's mom also sold hair on the side and her hair vendor always gave her the best of the best. She made sure my leave out blended in perfectly and my edges were slick. I looked like a new person.
"Free of charge," She winked at me.
********
I walked alongside Tyler feeling like that bitch. My hair was long reaching my butt and flowing as I walked. The white vintage Von Dutch tank top that I tied showed off my flat stomach and curves. Although I lost a little weight, my low rise blue skinny jeans were hugging my hips. My white Gucci slides showed off my fresh pedicure. Tyler was right when you look good you feel good.
We were at the mall doing a little shopping. I had enough clothes to last me a lifetime so I didn't go overboard. We were currently in Champs since Tyler wanted to look for some new shoes. He eventually walked off to the other side of the store. Knowing how indecisive he is, we were going to be here for a while.
I decided to sit down on one of the benches and wait for him. My short gel nails were tapping against my screen as I replied to everyone who sent their condolences. I had finally turned it on and I was flooded with DMs and comments from everyone who knew me or my dad. I had a bunch of messages from Keisha and Tyler when I was ignoring everyone.
I sighed as my mind brought me back tomy dad. The thought of going home and knowing he was no longer there was bizarre.
I noticed a group of boys around my age walk in. I quickly looked down on my phone so I wouldn't get caught staring. I always hated accidentally making eye contact with someone.
I had finally turned my phone on and was replying back to everyone who had sent their condolences. I was typing faster than usual because I loved the sound my nails made against the phone.
Feeling someone standing over me, I ignored it thinking it was Tyler. Looking at the top of my phone where the time was, I did a double-take when I realized the shoes standing before me didn't belong to Tyler. He didn't have Balenciaga's.
Instead, Trigga stood there dressed in all black. His hands full to capacity with designer shopping bags. I see what Tyler meant when he said he wanted to drop to his knees because his cologne had me ready to do the same. Damn, he smelled good.
He had a blank look on his face, almost scaring me. It dawned on me that he was with the group of boys that walked in. I raised my eyebrows wondering what his problem was. "Can I help you?"
"Just fuck our project huh? How you just gone ghost a nigga like that?" He raised an eyebrow.
I was stuck because I wasn't ready to see him yet. I had planned on seeing him in class to explain myself. I was cursing Tyler out in my head for not leaving sooner. I hated going out in public and running into someone from school.
"How you even noticed I was gone? You barely go to school." I blurted out before I could stop myself. I instantly wanted to crawl into a hole. I didn't know if he was taking me seriously and get offended.
"I mean it's not like I ain't notice yo big ass head missing. Blocking the board and shit." He shrugged causing me to laugh. Inside I was relieved he didn't get offended.
"My bad. I just wasn't ready to go back yet." I answered the best way I knew how. It wasn't the best explanation but it's all I had to give him.
"Yeah I was just fucking wit you. I heard about yo dad. My condolences." He said. His brown eyes were sincere and felt like it penetrating my soul causing me to look away. "Thanks," I mumbled quietly.
"But aye I'ma see you at school tomorrow. And yo ass better be there or we gone have a problem," he smirked at me before walking away. I watched as the boys he came with follow him out of the store.
I bit the inside of my lip to keep from smiling. For some reason, his playful threat did something to me.
"Mhmm look at you getting ready to eat that nigga up in the store. He smelled good huh?" Tyler cheesed as he held a shoebox in a Champs bag.
"I thought he was nothing but drama and I needed to stay away from?" I rolled my eyes remembering how he was the main one advising me to stay away from Trigga.
"Girl fuck all that you could use a little fun and some dick. I know his dick is big, I know it. I know it's big." He quoted New York causing us to buss out laughing.
********
As I was walking to the bathroom a knock at the front door caught my attention. Who the hell was coming to visit at this time? Quickly putting my towel on the towel rack, I jogged downstairs towards the door. Standing on my tippy toes to look through the peephole and there stood Toya. Wondering what she was doing here I unlocked the door.
Toya gave me a coy smile showing off her deep dimples. She was dressed in a pink Adidas sweatsuit that showed off her slim figure with pink Adidas slides. Although she was dressed casually her makeup was beat and her blonde hair was hanging past her ass. "Hey Laurel, I hate to impose but I was wondering if you can watch Tara overnight. Her daddy being difficult right now and I'm starting my new job tonight and would hate to come in late. I'll pay you." She pleaded.
I stood there thinking in silence. She caught me off guard but then again it's Tara and she's sweet so I know she wouldn't be any problem. Besides I was getting paid.
I agreed to causing Toya to sigh in relief and thank me. "Thank you. Come next door so you can come get her and I can give you the money. " She said before switching over to her house. Making sure my door wasn't locked, I closed the door behind me before following after her.
Walking into Toya's home the faint smell of weed hit me. Looking over in the living room, I could see Quan, Toya's baby daddy, puffing on a blunt while playing the game. Quan was a tall and slim dude. He had a milk chocolate complexion with dark brown eyes and waves.
Loud gunshots and sound effects echoed throughout the house from the game. Toya walked over to the couch where her purse was. Quan tore his eyes away from the screen as he observed Toya. "Fuck you going this time off night with that shit all over yo face." He said resuming his game.
"Boy shut the fuck up. I'm grown." Toya rolled her eyes before making her way towards me. "Thank you so much again. It's just until the morning, I'll come to get her before you head to school. Wait right here, I'ma go get her." She handed me the money then disappeared upstairs. My eyes widen a little as I realized she gave me five twenty-dollar bills.
Quan paused his game before he stood up, stretching. Picking up his sagging pants a little, he started walking towards me. "Wassup Laurel, she paying you to babysit Tara right?" He asked.
"Yeah," I answered.
"How long you gone be watching her?" He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"Until the morning," I replied. I watched as his face changed from confused to mad. He quickly stomped up the stairs.
I was confused until I heard his loud voice from downstairs. "You think you fucking slick huh? You must be out of yo rabbit ass mind if you think I'm letting you walk outta here to go shake yo ass at that stank ass Club!"
My eyes widen as I realized an argument was about to start.
"Quan get the fuck outta my face with all that bullshit and I already done told yo ass I'm a bottle girl, I'm not dancing!" Toya shouted back.
"I don't give a fuck about none of that shit. Go to the club like a dumbass and see if Ion show up and buss yo head wide open with that bottle!" He yelled. I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle my laugh because I knew he really would. Quan and Toya stayed arguing and their arguments sometimes led to a physical altercation. They were one of those couples that always fought but could never leave each other alone. They were mean't for each other.
"Move the fuck out my way Quan! I have to bring her downstairs!"
"Hell Nawl!"
It was silent for a few seconds and just as I thought the issue was resolved, I heard a loud thud. The sound of Tara crying can be heard as the thumps got louder and louder. From the sound of it, I knew they were fighting each other. Tara eventually began screaming and I knew at this point the neighbors could hear.
I stood there wondering what to do. I would've left but she had already given me the money. I didn't want to go upstairs either because I felt like it wasn't my place. Just as I was about to leave, Toya came rushing downstairs with a crying Tara in her arms. Her once perfect makeup was smudged and one of her eyelashes was missing. Her long blonde was all over the place.
"Here she had her bath and all that. She ready for bed." She was out of breathe as she quickly rushed towards me handing over Tara. She immediately wrapped her little arms tight around my neck as she bawled.
I sped walk out of the house before Quan could come downstairs for round two.
********
After taking a quick shower and wrapping my hair, I was ready for bed. Tara was knocked out on my bed after crying herself to sleep.
I laid next to Tara as I began channel surfing until I decided on watching Black Ink Crew. While watching the show, my doorknob started twisting which only means one thing; Brian. My heart started beating quickly as I began to get nervous. I muted the TV to see what he was going to do or say.
After continuously twisting the door knob for a few seconds he stopped. He scoffed as the sound of him walking away can be heard. The quiet suspense had my body tensed wondering what he going to do next. My door was locked all of those times he was in my room, so I knew he'd be back. I slowly sat up wondering what his next move was.
Hearing a clicking sound by the door, my eyes darted over to the doorknob seeing it being toyed with. My blood began to boil at how desperate he was to get inside. Me locking my door meant nothing to him.
A few seconds later, the door opened and Brian stood there smirking at me. He had a butter knife in his hand that he used to pick my lock with. He walked all the way downstairs to the kitchen to get a knife to pick my door.
He walked inside until he was at the foot of my bed. I put my arm over Tara protectively. I began to pray to God to protect both of us. The smirk on his face slowly dropped as he realized she was in the bed with me.
"Cute." He scoffed before walking towards my door. I watched him like a hawk, scared to even move a muscle. He turned back around just as he reached the door. He shook his head before pointing at me, "This shit ain't over," He mouthed before leaving completely.
As soon as I heard the sound of his bedroom door closing, I jumped off the bed to close and lock my door. Relief hit me as I slid down the door. My heart was beating so fast to the point it felt like it was beating out of my chest. I released a shaky breathe trying to calm down.
Looking at a sleeping Tara, I thanked God that I agreed to babysit her.