okay this rant is about to be deep.
i'm gonna try to make it quick since i don't want to type right now but i'm coming up with so many ideas for rants!! it's gr9.
anyways, what i've been wanting to talk about with you guys for a while is literally just being happy within yourself. not finding happiness for yourself from other people, but making yourself happy.
because guess what
you're gonna be on your own! let's be realistic here, people die, people leave, people come & go. if you have to find a home within someone, that's okay, but you have to find a home within yourself.
a lot of people say it's lame to stay home alone on a friday night
i say that it's pretty fucking awesome. i don't have to deal with annoying ass people, don't have to entertain my friends (i love you guys but i'm being honest here alright), etc. i get to stay home alone and have some me time. you don't have to order pizza and bury your face in netflix yo. you can read a book (what omg), write a story, cook a good ass meal for yourself, and contemplate life. literally, just plan ahead for yourself- think about what you want to do in life that would be good for you and how to overcome any obstacles you have trying to be what you want to be.
this is gonna sound so weird- but talk to yourself. if you're alone, you don't have to worry about filtering what you say. get to know yourself, ask deep questions about yourself. don't do no friend tag and have ya friends answer, answer for you. embrace all the weird shit you do, maybe you like to measure your toes, but you don't do that with anyone else around. you can do that and have so much fun because you're not dealing with judgmental assholes. listen to what you hear outside, listen to birds tweeting or cars roaming, dogs barking, crickets chirping... pay attention to fine details that you never notice when you're with others. tbh, paying attention to that crack in the wall or how that dog barks every five fucking seconds can actually loosen your mind and make you a more open minded person. this sounds like it's coming from some weird ass spiritual person, but tbh, i am trying to become more spiritual and feel that from within. being a bad bitch is fun and all, but you know how the japanese say you have three faces? well maybe the bad bitch is on all those faces ahaa but i'm trying to dig deeper.
if you can't stay away from electronics, start a blog, create a story on wattpad, make channel art for youtube. do something that is time consuming but not necessarily wasteful like watching one episode of oitnb after the next(no one attack me).
create a scrapbook- look around for random or meaningful objects and pictures around your house and add it to your scrapbook. it don't even gotta look cute, no one has to see it. venture into the world of arts and crafts y'all - paint a picture, draw, write poetry, write a story(on paper), write down things you're grateful for. whatever.
pamper yourself! - do your makeup, soak your feet, take a shower or bath, wash your hair, relax, watch tv, do whatever you like that makes you feel steady and relaxed and happy.
now for outside of the house. i think doing things outside of your home space are the most fun when you're alone! you can have so much fun and have time for yourself. options:
+ go to the beach and swim in the ocean or sunbathe - bring a radio or whatever you want. bring a pet, but that might be a hassle :)))
+ have a picnic for yourself. pack food enough for yourself, i recommend healthy food but we could go either way with this. enjoy a picnic in the luxury of your own backyard aha, or go to a park or something.
+ ride your bike
+ do some yogaaa
+ have an adventure : i saw this on wikihow and it sounds like so much fun. it's like you're a kid or something! go to a place you've never been before( a safe place ), and explore and learn stuff about that place. pack bags, visit special locations there, or even just go hiking there. don't be realistic, throw away reality, use your imagination and don't make a huge plan.
+ go for a walk - my mom goes on walks for at least an hour+ a day and she just admires the town and the nature and she loves it.
anyways,if anyone has more ideas, comment below!!
i took a nap today just for myself and i felt so good afterwards. i was like, yup, i need to nap. i need sleep lmfao like i walked all day in the sun and got four hours of sleep and felt like shit and i ate, cleaned my bunny's cage, took a bubble bath, detoxed and slept afterwards like you guys, it's literally that easy don't be ashamed to do shit for yourself omg.
if you want to be more happy rather than alone, start thinking of things you've always wanted to do. maybe you really wanted to talk to your crush, go talk to him/her! be like "heyyy i'm zuzuu, eat this a$$" or u know approach him/her in some weird, extra way :///
join a club, go play basketball, idk but you do!!! these are just some examples to get you started.
don't be shy. i'll tell you rn, in fourth grade i was a confident motherfucker who stood up for my friends, to other people and spoke my mind. people loved me for it and i loved myself for it. i stopped doing that and now i've put myself back in check. staying silent makes you a bystander in any situation. open your damn mouth, take the words out. if you lose a friend for it, good, you lost a friend. you didn't need him/ her in the first place.
be open to a lot of things. i hate when i'm going somewhere like camp and there's always that annoying shy person(IM SORRY IF UR SHY BUT LIKE I CANT STAND IT. i know a lot of people suffer from social anxiety but i'm really opinionated and i fucking hate it when someone is so shy that they start being rude like.. stop. okay im sorry thats a v problematic thing to say but ok open ur mouth stop cowering away thats agitating)
anyways as i was saying - i hate when i'm at a place and there's that one shy person who won't try anything. come on, girl, open up. every time i've opened up, only good things have come out of that so.
oh omg i forgot one thing for the whole me time thingie -
smoke weed okay like it's actually good for u i know i'm fetus and probably shouldn't be saying this so if i see you smoking weed and you're like fourteen i'm gonna smack u okay
alright, i'm gonna end this here because i'm getting tired and this rant was probably so messy and i wanted it to be cute but i'm not like happy go lucky so i'm not gonna fake that lol fuck that shit
#zuzaf