I knew I wasn't really alone. I could feel the presence of Steve, and Natasha following me and hanging back. Bucky insisted on keeping an eye on the main entrance of the hospital or else I'm sure he'd be lurking too. I happened to come across an unlocked closet that I slipped inside and allowed myself to curl into a heap on the floor.
Seeing her in that bed... I never could have been prepared for it. I thought back to Fëanor, and his mention of Enid. I found myself praying to beings that I didn't even know if they were listening. 'Enid... I don't know you. But it seems you might know me. Please... please help her.'
I sat in silence awhile longer, not expecting an answer but almost hoping for one regardless. But as I expected, no response came. I sighed and hoisted myself up off the ground and slipped back out of the closet where I immediately clocked Natasha and Steve guarding different directions.
They both saw me and hesitantly took a step towards me but then both looked up to me. I knew they didn't want to intrude on my space if I still wanted to be alone. I nodded my head and both of them let out a breath before quickly appearing at my side.
"Hi there darling," Steve said softly and offered his arms to me. I immediately buried myself in him and took a deep breath. The woodsy-citrus scent filled my senses, and I couldn't help but melt into him further. I could get lost in his arms forever if I allowed myself. And, for the moment, I allowed myself. I allowed myself the comfort and peace that being wrapped in Steve Roger's arms brought me. I felt Natasha close behind me and gently reached a hand behind me in search of one of her own. She understood the assignment and moved in a little closer to make holding her hand a smidge less awkward.
"I need her to get through this," I whispered.
"We know, детка. We know." Natasha responded softly as her other hand gently carted its way through my hair. I felt tears crest my eyes again.
"I don't know how to do this."
"Five seconds at a time, darling. We'll get you through this, five seconds at a time." I nodded in response to Steve and allowed myself to take comfort in the two of them for a while longer before we tracked our way back to the waiting room where Mrs. Zakharov waited.
"Hi, mamma," I greeted her with a soft, wavering voice. The word still felt foreign coming from my lips. 'Mamma.' I'd never really had a mom before. Well, I had, in Mrs. Zakharov. But I'd never known what to call it.
"Hi baby," she responded, immediately coming over and engulfing me in her arms. "I know it's hard," she whispered. I nodded in response.
"Hopefully... hopefully something... oh, I don't know," I found myself muttering nonsense. Mrs. Zakharov shushed me gently and just held me for a while longer while Mish and Angie visited Ally.