A/N: Can you believe the last update was exactly one month ago? These delayed writers 🤦♀️ I can't with them! Y'all need to block 'em.
****
Jin carefully gathered some snow and began rolling it, gradually shaping it into a snowball. As he did so, he gazed towards the snowy peaks, marveling at their breathtaking beauty. Their time in Alaska was coming to an end, and he was surprised by how quickly it had passed.
At first, he had many doubts about whether he would enjoy the trip with Jungkook. However, it turned out to be a pleasant experience. He had accomplished a lot both with and without Jungkook.
If given the chance, he would aim to visit Alaska again. He was confident that Taehyung would enjoy coming there and that they could have a great time skiing together. He also thought of Jimin, but he wasn't sure how Jimin felt about skiing; it was something he would have to ask Taehyung.
"Seokjin, we should go to our table now."
When Jin heard Jungkook's voice, he let go of the snowball in his hand and took off his gloves. He turned to join Jungkook, following him into the warm and inviting cafe where they planned to have breakfast.
*****
As Jin and Jungkook shared a meal, Jin couldn't help but notice the heavy silence between them, which surprised him. Being around Jungkook in silence was something he was not used to. The man had a reputation for being talkative, constantly speaking regardless of whether Jin was paying attention or not.
Just as he was about to break the silence, Jungkook beat him to it. "Seokjin, there's a conversation I'd like us to have. I had planned for us to talk about it last night, but circumstances changed unexpectedly. So, I think it's important for us to discuss this matter now."
Jin fondly remembered their evening together and smiled, knowing that he was the reason for the lack of conversation between them. He had no shame in admitting that he enjoyed having sex with Jungkook, and he didn't hesitate to indulge in pleasure whenever the opportunity arose. It was his favorite part of the trip with Jungkook.
Jungkook's attentiveness during intimate moments was surprisingly impressive, and Jin truly appreciated it. Jungkook pleasantly surprised him as the most attentive sexual partner he had ever had, even though he hadn't anticipated it. He never felt unsatisfied, which always left him wanting more. However, he knew this couldn't continue for much longer after their trip.
The situation had already spiraled out of control beyond his desired level of involvement. During their outings, Jin noticed that Jungkook had started to view them as a couple. Although Jin had enjoyed their time together, he did not share the same romantic feelings towards Jungkook.
When Jungkook didn't receive a response or acknowledgment from Jin, he decided to speak up. He addressed Jin by saying, "Seokjin, I wanted to let you know that earlier this week, during my video conferencing session with my therapist, you were a major topic of our conversation. I provided some information about the developments that occurred during our trip. Please rest assured that I did not disclose our intimate relationship to my therapist, as I did not consider it necessary information for them to know. I prefer to keep that information private between us.
I shared the developments and progress we have made together since arriving here. My therapist expressed deep thanks for my willingness to share those personal details. Like me, my therapist also acknowledges a positive evolution in our relationship. However, despite having that thought, they have suggested that I formally ask you this question to gain a clear understanding of our relationship." Jungkook took a deep breath before speaking further.
"I understand that we already have an established relationship, so it isn't necessary for me to ask this. However, to comply with my therapist's recommendation, I will formally ask you the following question. Would you like to be my boyfriend? I understand that you are already addressing my concern, but if you could provide a formal response, I would greatly appreciate it. This way, I can inform my therapist that the matter has been resolved."
Jin's gaze falls to the table, unable to meet Jungkook's eyes. As he picked at his food, many thoughts began swirling in his mind. He chewed on his lower lip before lifting his head, his eyes meeting Jungkook's.
"Jungkook, I found our time together quite enjoyable, and I've been able to learn more about you as a result of our time spent here, which I appreciate. It comes as a surprise to me that you are, deep down within, such a nice and compassionate person. I can see it in you.
On the other hand, I am not prepared to have a romantic relationship with you. I prefer that we go slowly and see how things develop. If we are, then..."
"Slowly?" Jungkook questioned. "Seokjin, we have engaged in a physical relationship. Have you realized that fact?"
"Of course I do, yet the fact that we have been together does not imply that we are committed to being in a relationship. At the very least, that is not what it means to me. I like having sex with you, and I believe that we have strong sexual chemistry, which is a positive thing considering that there is not a lot that we have bonded on."
Jungkook used a napkin to wipe his hands, indicating that he had lost his appetite. "Seokjin, are you suggesting that you are not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with me and that the only aspect we find pleasurable in our connection is our sexual chemistry?"
"No, that's not exactly what I'm saying. Yes, it's true that I don't want to be in a relationship. I have told you this before. However, no, I don't think the only enjoyable thing between us is our sexual chemistry. I have enjoyed this trip a lot, and that has been because of you. You showed me a lot during this trip, Jungkook, a lot of good things, and it has left me impressed."
"But are you not impressed enough to want to be in a relationship with me? It appears that your intention was for us to engage in a sexual encounter and enjoy ourselves. I had believed that we were making progress towards something more meaningful. I suppose my therapist was correct in making that suggestion. He likely understood something that I couldn't because I believed that we were making progress in our relationship and had planned on asking you to live with me when we returned to South Korea."
Jin's eyes widened in surprise, and he was left speechless upon hearing Jungkook's words.
"Seokjin, if we don't have an official relationship, I don't think I want to continue engaging in a sexual relationship with you. I desire to maintain my self-worth for someone who shares the same level of commitment that I do. That's precisely why I consciously try to avoid engaging in one-night stands, as they lack personal significance for me.
Sex is an important component of human relationships, as it involves a deep level of intimacy and evokes strong emotions. I am cautious about sharing these emotions with someone who does not truly value and appreciate them. I hope that you will understand and honor my decision.
Considering the current circumstances, it would be best for you to take a break from walking my dog. I was not expecting the response you gave me, and I kindly request that you respect my feelings by allowing me some space to process this situation. It would be appreciated if we could avoid seeing each other daily once we return to Korea."
*****
Some months later
*****
Jimin lowered his head, took a few deep breaths, and then shut his eyes before turning the handle on Jungkook's office door and entering the room.
"Mr. Jeon, did you call me?" As soon as he walked inside Jungkook's office, he questioned him.
"Have you found your replacement?" Jungkook didn't bother to glance up from the computer screen he was staring at.
"Mr. Jeon, can you please not phrase it like that? I told you I would only be taking a short time off after giving birth-"
"Jimin, could you please answer my question? Whether you take a short break or not, your absence will result in unfinished work that needs to be completed. Hence, I kindly request that you take the initiative to find a suitable replacement to meet the demands I require effectively.
I would appreciate it if you could hire an assistant for me who has no plans of starting a family while you are away. This company already has a sufficient number of employees attempting to start families despite not being in the ideal position to do so."
Jimin closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He understood that when Jungkook mentioned people getting pregnant, he was referring to him and Hoseok. However, he refrained from speaking, knowing that if he did, Jungkook would respond in a way he did not desire.
He loved his job and his paycheck equally, especially since he had recently received a raise. He was determined not to lose any of it and had been making every effort to stay on Jungkook's good side. Some days were challenging because Jungkook held a strong grudge against him for the Alaska trip, which didn't go as Jungkook had expected.
Despite having passed about three months since the trip, he frequently heard about it and longed for the ability to turn back time and undo the mistake he had made.
"Mr. Jeon, I will do everything in my power to locate a temporary assistant who can come in and help you, even if they won't be as excellent as I am. Please believe me when I say that I will do all in my power to find someone who is at least somewhat close to me."
"That's what I expect from you, Jimin. You are free to leave now, and it may be beneficial to consider investing in higher-quality footwear. I don't think it's suitable for a pregnant person to wear those shoes."
Jimin glanced at his Chelsea boots and expressed dissatisfaction, noting they were comfortable. His words were abruptly interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. He silenced the device and offered a brief apology to Jungkook.
As the phone continued to ring, he attempted to silence it, but upon realizing that it was Taehyung calling, he reacted differently. He looked at Jungkook with an expression of apology and proceeded to answer it.
"Hey, I have to call you back, I- WHAT?!" Jimin's eyes grew wide with surprise, and he let out a loud exclamation of shock upon hearing his boyfriend's words on the other end of the phone call.
"Jimin, that level of loudness is not acceptable in my-"
"What do you mean Seokjin is pregnant? Are you sure? Who is he even dating?" Jimin questioned, still in shock hearing the news he had not expected. "Wait, three months? He is three months pregnant?"
Jungkook froze in his seat as Jimin looked across at him.
After seeing the shocked expression on Jungkook's face, Jimin broke into a grin and said to Tae, "Umm, I believe I may know who the father is. It seems like the folks who work at the company where I am employed are really striving to have kids everywhere."
*****
Jin remained in a state of shock as he sat in the hospital bed. He couldn't believe it had only been a few hours since his pregnancy was confirmed. Before fainting earlier in the day, he did not experience any symptoms that would have indicated he was pregnant.
Although he had put on some weight, it wasn't enough for him to consider himself pregnant. He believed that the food he was consuming was fulfilling its purpose, as he had been aiming to gain weight and believed that he had finally achieved his goal. However, upon learning that his weight gain was a result of his pregnancy, he was utterly shocked.
He was even more shocked when the doctor confirmed how far along he was. As soon as he realized how far along he was, he immediately concluded the father's identity and became acutely aware of the difficult situation he was in.
Since leaving Alaska, he and Jungkook had minimal contact even though he had still been walking Bam. Something which Jungkook did not want, but Bam did not agree and sent a dog walker into a river, which led to Jungkook having to call Jin and beg him to return. Jin accepted it as he loved Bam and felt a bit guilty for how their trip had ended; it had not been his intention for it to end the way it did.
However, even after that, Jungkook kept his distance, and Jin learned to respect it.
As Jin heard Taehyung return to the room, he asked, "Did you see the doctor while you were out there? I need-" As he looked up, his words stopped, seeing Jungkook before him instead of Taehyung.
"W-what are you doing here?"
"Seokjin, are you pregnant?" Jungkook asked without hesitation.
Jin swallowed as he became lost for words.
"I interpret your silence as a confirmation. I understand that you have been pregnant for the past three months. Upon careful reflection, I have realized that the occurrence of this event can be attributed to the absence of proper safety precautions during our initial intimate encounter."
Jin sighed and bobbed his head slowly while nodding it. "I didn't know about it until today, but you're right in your assumptions."
Jungkook, now silent, paced back and forth throughout the room.
Jin remained silent, unsure how to respond as he was still processing everything.
"I am not good enough to be a father." He heard Jungkook say something that caught him off guard.
"What was that?"
Jungkook, feeling overwhelmed, halted his restless pacing and turned his attention towards Jin. He clenched his fists tightly, expressing his inner turmoil. "Seokjin, I don't believe I possess the qualities necessary to be a father. I did not anticipate that things would unfold this way, leading to your pregnancy. I apologize for this unfortunate occurrence."
"Jungkook, what are you talking about? Are you suggesting I have an abortion?" Jin was very confused. "That's not your decision to make. It's mine, and if you don't want to be a father, you don't need to be!"
"Seokjin, I want to clarify that I am not making any suggestions regarding those matters," Jungkook spoke and then stopped, clutching his hair tightly in an attempt to control the frustration he was experiencing.
"I previously mentioned that I have limitations and can only do things I excel at. I lack confidence in my ability to fulfill the role of a father. Children, being delicate and vulnerable, require the presence of caring individuals in their lives.
Seokjin, I know I lack the necessary skills and qualities to be comfortable in the presence of children or to care for a child responsibly. I am not good enough.
I am unsure about the solution to this issue, but I sincerely apologize. I regret not having taken the time to think more thoughtfully and considerately before becoming intimate with you."
"I am so fucking confused, why are you saying you are not good enough to be around kids-"
"Because I am not!" Jungkook yelled. "I am not someone a child needs around them. I am not good enough! Don't you get it?!"
Jin was on the verge of yelling back at Jungkook, but when he noticed tears welling up in his eyes, it deeply affected him. It was at that moment when everything came crashing down on him. The man, who had once displayed so much confidence, had been completely shattered. And it wasn't just a simple breakdown; it was a type of devastation that his mind couldn't comprehend.
After deep breathing and feeling emotional, Jin said, "Jungkook, I don't care what you think. We had sex, whether with or without protection, the chance existed that I could become pregnant, and I am not pregnant. While I don't expect a relationship with you, I do expect you to play a role in being a parent to our child. I am young, and I can't do this by myself. I never thought I would be expecting my first child at this age, and I swear I will hate you forever if you leave me here to go through this on my own.
Therefore, you should tell whoever told you that you were not good enough to be a parent to "fuck off" because the determined guy that I know you to be, I am certain that you are more than good enough to be a father, and you will be an excellent one.
Jungkook released his hold on his hair and peeked over at Jin, "You think so? Do you mean that, Seokjin?"
"I don't think Jungkook, I know. Look how great you are with Bam. I do not doubt that our child will get much love from you, maybe even an excessive amount." Jin stated with a grin, attempting to lighten the atmosphere between them.
Jungkook couldn't help but smile at his words, and it unexpectedly melted Jin's heart. However, Jin's eyes widened at the words Jungkook responded with.
"Perhaps you are correct. I believe I can accomplish this task. I am committed to being a good person to our baby, so I will make a conscious effort to be more consistent with attending therapy sessions.
Additionally, I want to express my desire for us to be married at the earliest opportunity. We need to consider the implications of having a child outside of marriage. I would prefer if we avoided following the same path as my assistant and your friend.
Please share your parents' contact information with me. I want to reach out to them to arrange a meeting where I can apologize and explain my intentions. They need to understand that I am committed to a future with you."
"Umm, Jungkook-"
"May I please have your parents' phone numbers? It is important that we promptly inform them. I will not disclose the details of our intimate relationship to them. However, they will naturally comprehend the circumstances that led us to this point."