Manalura
Arjuna had become a bit carefree since the time he started living with his new family. Though he did not let it affect his dedication towards maintaining his austere mindset, the striking change of environment and the care of the family that he started to receive, turned him less rigid than he was before. It wasn't effortless to be an householder and an ascetic at the same time, and he didn't know if he was succeeding in it or not, but he was trying his best to succeed.
He was doubtful about his ability to continue his penance during the initial days of his marriage with Chitrangada, but he soon learned to leave all the worries to Mahadeva, and focus on what he is able to do, and not on what he is not able to do. As he had taken the right decisions and the right steps, he believed that the Lord would definitely make sure that his efforts bear fruits, whether they are for his austerity, or for the betterment of Pandya Vamsha.
He was happy to have acquired a loving family in Pandya. The Pandya family could not replace his family back at Indraprastha, but it has created its own space in his life and in his heart. His bond with Chitrangada developed with time, and given that they had several similarities between them, especially the nature of giving duty the utmost importance, they were able to bond well. They respected and valued each other's duties, responsibilities and commitments as much as their own.
Babhruvahana's birth was the best part amongst everything. His birth was the main purpose behind his parents' marriage, and he brought immense delight to not just to his family, but the whole Pandya Kingdom. Arjuna was sure that his own family, all of them in Indraprastha, would have been very delighted at the news of his son's birth.
He didn't know that he could be so overjoyed, so delighted to an extent that he had never imagined before, until his child was born. His son's presence filled an unrecognized void in his being. The paternal love that had stayed dormant in him till then, came alive when he held his son in his arms for the first time. Since that moment, he has never put him down. He had become so attached to Babhruvahana without even realizing. He still had one regret, that he wasn't able to share this happiness with his mother, brothers and Krishnaa.
That night, as he was musing about his regret, a soft cry disturbed his thoughts. Arjuna rose from the bed and sprinted towards the cradle which was placed at the other side of the chamber. As soon as his father wrapped his arms around him, Babhruvahana stopped crying. But the sound had woken Chitrangada up and she noticed Arjuna trying to put the baby to sleep by patting his back.
In the dim candle lights, Chitrangada's eyes fell on the scroll that was tucked below Arjuna's pillow. She couldn't see anything clearly but she knew what scroll it was. As he placed their son back in the cradle, she left the bed and walked towards him, finally making up her mind to inquire why he was unsettled. It was unusual that he brought the letters between him and his family to their chamber. He always kept them within his chamber, the same place where he also performed his daily meditation routine.
"You seem disturbed, Partha," she uttered slowly, making sure that her tone was not too intrusive, in case he did not wish to talk about it. He shook his head imperceptibly and walked towards the window instead. He was surprised that she was able to guess, as he thought that he was successful in hiding his emotions these days.
"It's nothing new, Chitra, it's the same thought. Sometimes, it becomes so powerful that I cannot help but allow my focus to stay on it for long."
"That's alright. You don't have to be embarrassed. It's what you are facing and only you know what it feels like," she assured and remained silent for sometime before continuing, "Partha, if you don't mind, I have been thinking of asking you this question for a long time now. I've seen how difficult it's for you to live apart from your family, I've seen how much you love Maharani Panchali. Then why had you broken the rule? Why did you go against the restriction that you all established?"
"It is true that I had knowingly broken the vow that we had taken, but I hadn't done it voluntarily. There was no other option for me to save my family's honor and well-being at that crucial moment. I was compelled by the circumstances to choose this. I never wanted this." He sighed softly and pressed his forehead with his hands. He was becoming more responsive than necessary, it seemed like his rigidity was melting away completely and he couldn't afford that. It meant that he had to go back to his previous lifestyle of an ascetic fully.
"I think..." he stabilized his expression before his emotion overpowered him. "Chitra, I think it's time for me to leave Manalura. It has been three years and Babhru will soon turn one. I have more places to visit in the Dakshina Bhumi before heading back to Indraprastha."
Chitrangada couldn't even begin to imagine what he had gone through when the exile had started and what he was going through now. She looked down, suppressing her tears, hoping that she did not give away the rush of sorrow on her face that materialized as he talked of leaving. He was fighting a much harder battle than hers and she didn't want to add to it, but still it was hard for him to see him leave.
Arjuna held her hands in his, and remembered the promises they had made to each other, and affirmed with a blink of his eyes that he would never forget them. Manalura had given him a family, and it was going to be a challenge to leave them, especially his child, but the Lord had provided him with a sign that he had to leave. He had to leave, to shield himself and his penance, and continue his pilgrimage that remained stagnant.