I glared towards the wooden door irritated by the sound coming from the other side of the door. Here I am in 4 in the morning standing in the middle of the hall glaring towards that door once again. For the past hour I've been agruing with myself if I should slam the door open and yell at them to shut up and make a fool out of myself for their entertainment or just ignore it.
I decided to ignore it and head to the gym.
Everytime I'm angry or feeling any emotions that's unwanted I go and train myself. I work my body out until I couldn't stand anymore until I couldn't think anymore. When ever I get a memory of my old life I would spend the rest of the day in the gym.
I couldn't let myself get these feelings to ruin me again.
I shove my gloves in and began punching the bag in rhythem. I let myself get focus on the punching bag and ignore my whole life.
Images of my mom and dad flash before my eyes causing me to punch it harder. The next thing I did was running for a few hours. When I felt my legs wobble underneath me I stopped my tracks. I hop down to only fall on the matt breathing heavily.
"Why do you do that?" A voice made me look up.
I stare back at Dominic he wore his grey sweater with black jeans and white shirt. His hair always messly the way I always love. His glowing blue eyes stood out the way I remembered. I stood up wiping my sweat from my forehead.
"Do what?"
"Work out for hours until your body can't take it?" He push himself off the door way.
"Wasn't it you that told me I was too weak?" I said emotionless taking a big drink.
He was about to open his mouth to speak but he closed it back making me raise my eyebrows. I walked past him smelling that girl's perfume on him.
"Tell Michael I went out" I yelled over my shoulder.
"Where are you going?"
"Out"
****
I stared at the familar house from far. The same old tire swing still hung on the tree underneath my tree house. The same gravel stone that lead up the white house with the white fence. Red roses surround the house. I can still smell the cookies mom use to always make for me in the weekends.
Old memories came rushing back. I remember my first steps inside that house, First words. My first boyfriend I introduced to my parents. First time I rode a bike. That house remind me my first everything. Especially my first betrayal from my parents. First time I look at them like they are strangers. First time my dad hurt me.
That house is filled with so much love and good memories but it's also filled with regret and pain they have caused.
All I wanted was to run back to them and wish they could love me for what I am now. All I wanted was to say I'm sorry for being like this and I'm not such a bad person. I just want them to take me back and love me again.
When I thought I put away all my pain from them tears still linger in my eyes ready to shed. I clenched my jaw not daring to shed a single tear.
The moment she walked out of the house it was like she was staring right at me from miles away. The same blue eyes reflect mine. I swallowed loudly feeling my heart pound but then she looked away to the swing where she staarts walking towards. What shock me more was when she sat on it.
I watch her curiously as she swing herself slowly I frown taking in what's happening. A small sad smile flicker into her face as she rub her hands against my tree. The next I knew what happened was I was standing a few feet from her.
I couldn't help myself but move closer to my mom and want to comfort her away from the pain. It was like an impluse for me to just rush to her when ever she's upset. She looked up with tears in her eyes.
"Jessy?" She gasp standing up.
I couldn't speak but just simply stare at her. She didn't look as scared like the last time I saw her. Tears trail down her cheeks making my chest tighten.
"You're alive" She put her hand over her mouth to keep her sob in. "I-I thought you died when he took you." She wiped her tears.
"Sorry to dissapoint" I said emotionless
Then something I thought I would never see guilt flicker over her eyes as she stare at me. She took a step towards me I force myself to stand on gurad and to not fall for her trap. I was never meant to show myself to her but when I saw her like that I forgot all the pain she gave me and just wanted to take hers away.
"You're my baby girl and I will always love you honey" She took a step towards me.
She lifted her hands making me flinch away she crease my cheeks staring at me the way she use to. My heart pound loudly feeling a new different type of feeling. Hope. I wanted to just let my mask fall down but building it up for years is hard to take it off.
"Sweetie I love you so much" She cried.
My throat tighten when I let the tears fall freely. I look down squeezing my eyes shut.
"I love you too mom" I cried feeling like a lost little girl all over again.
"Come inside Jessy" She tug me inside the house but I stayed put afraid if he's going to be in there.
I'm not prepared to come face to face with him yet.
"Please honey I just miss you so much" She slip her hand around mine.
I numbly nodded and let her lead me. The house is still the same, it felt the same. Nothing really changed.The house feels empty making me relax a bit.
"Where have you been Jessy?" My mom went over to the kitcthen.
"I've been around the world."
"I missed you so much you have no idea" She sniff. "I know we have our differences but your father means well. I hope you're not upset about that?"
She turn her back to me to prepare drinks. I wanted to give a sarcastic remark about dad trying to kill me was no problem that it didn't give me nightmare. It didn't give me a panic attack at night. It didn't hurt me but instead I replied
"Of course not we're still family" I lied.
"Family right that's what we are honey"
I caught the slight change of her tone of voice that made me alert. Before I could even process what is happening a needle shot towards my shoulder. My eyes widen staring down at the long metal bullet with liquid that already poured itself inside me.
I staggered back in shock feeling the burning pain course through my veins. Another shot fired straight to my side. A wooden bullet pierce painfully through my flesh, just when I thought that was the end of the worst pain the wooden bullet exploded in me. My legs gave in underneath me from the pain.
The pain from the attack didn't get me most but the betrayal I got once again. Just when I thought everything can be ok that hope was snatch out of my reach once again. The betrayal from my own mother hurt more then anything.
I growled loudly ignoring the pain and stood up before she could fire an attack I rush towards her snatching the gun off her and roughly tossing it over the wall causing a loud sound. I grab her by the throat making her look at me in the eye.
I saw the fear that flash before her eyes as she stare at me. I wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me but I couldn't let my hands close up and crush her bones in my hands. I couldn't hurt her even though she hurt me so much.
"So much for family right mother" I laugh bitterly.
"You're no daughter of mine!" She spat hatefully.
"All I wanted was to be a family again" I whispered painfully feeling the warm tears trail down my face.
I couldn't stand looking at her face I ran as fast as I could feeling the pain double over taking control of my body. I force myself to run and just keep running to a safe place. The burning feeling felt like it is suffocating me. I broke the door open of Michael's house finally collapsing inside.
"Oh my god"
"What the hell?"
"Jessy!"
They all said at the same time. All I could do was scream in pain not knowing if I was crying because of the pain or what my mom did. How she made me feel like she loved me, she wanted me back and it was ok for her to be what I am. In that moment in her little act I drop all my sheild and wanted so bad to believe her. When she shot me it wasn't the pain that I was in shock but how cold she is.
I wanted to believe her so much now I know I have nobody. I never really accepted the fact that my parents hated me, how can you? I've seen the hatered in my dad's eyes but not in my mother not the person who told me to always keep my head up and stay strong and to never let anyone tell me I'm not good enough.
I felt arms around me a familair comforting scent linger in the air. Soft hands cup my face to make me look up.
"Take the pain away" I whispered staring into Dominic's blue eyes.
His eyes soften he lift me only causing me to scream at the movement. I can feel the small wooden chips burying themselves into my flesh. I felt myself being lowered on the hard table.
"I got the stuff" Kat appeared.
I tried looking around my sight began to blurr with dots dancing across my eyes. I groaned wanting to crawl into a ball to stop the pain but they pinned my arms down. I heard my clothes being ripped. Michael's black hair hover above me.
"This is going to hurt Jessy." He told his eyes hesitant the minute I saw that in his eyes I wanted to jump off this bed and run.
The metal knife sliced across my skin creating a burning pain. I yelled out gripping the table as he stuck his fingers into my flesh to take out the wood. the more he push his fingers in the more the wood would sink in. It felt Michael is scratching and scratching his scalple until he reach this painful nerve making me want to pass out. I couldn't describe the pain of Michael digging his fingers deeper into my flesh to get it.
I yelled curses feeling my throat burn from all the yelling, it was the only way to realise all my anger. Chester pinned my arms tighter as I try to wriggle away from Michael. His hands vanish, my heart beating loudly against my ears.
"One" He breathe.
Then the pain repeat itself but it was ten times worst. I couldn't see a thing after that, I can smell my blood lingering in the air. The whole house is filled with silence as Michael held out the last wood. His face twisted in concern as he look down at me with my blood smudge across his forehead.
"I'll take her to her room" I heard Dominic say.
I felt myself being lifted up softly, I felt warmly numb. In no time Dominic place me carefully down I could almost laugh at how gentle he is being with me. He move my hair away from my eyes, I wanted to look at him and see his face but my eyes was already closing. I let myself relax falling into a deep sleep.
I felt the bed dip and his hand on my face making a electrifying trail across my cheek.
"What have she done to you Jessy?" He mumbled so soft I almost didn't hear.
I wanted to lean forward into his touch and feel safe but the darkness came over me.
****
I sat up feeling all healed but a slight headache still took it's place. I stare out at the night sky still dark. I stood up ignoring the dizziness. I look at myself in the mirror seeing a pale ghost dark circle under my eyes. My eyes red and puffy reminding me of yesterday. I turned on my bath and strip down and hop inside.
I let my body relax with the warm water wrapping itself around my body. I wrap my arms around my knees and rest my chin on it. I stare blankly at the water splashing in the tub. Before I knew what was happening a small sob escape my lips my tears dropping into the water. I embrace myself tighter as if the pain will go away. I wanted this hole gone in my life that's why I wanted to believe her so bad.
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, I squeezed my eyes shut trying to force the pain away once again. My soft cries echoed the bathroom I couldn't hold in.
From this day this is the last time I get hurt like this. This is the last time I let myself hope for something that will never be there. This is the last time I will let myself cry.
I stood up staring at my reflection and promise myself from this day on I won't let anybody hurt me anymore.
I won't be this weak girl, not again.
***
"Jessy!" Alex ran up to me with her wolf she let inside.
I walked down the stairs sensing awkwardness in the air as they all stop what they are doing and stare at me.
"Hey Alex" I smiled lacing my fingers through her hair.
"I heard you were hurt. I'm sorry I wasn't there" She frown. "You're ok now right?" She look at me in worry.
"Yeah I am perfect" I fake smile for her.
"You really freaked us out Jessy" Kat spoke.
"I'm fine" I sighed.
Walking over to patt the white wolf we grew to love also.
"Where were you?" Michael walked down the stairs pulling me into a hug.
That question felt like a trick question coming from Michael. Should I lie or not?
"I was mocking around in some alley way and some vampires..."
I stop mid way realizing how stupid I sounded like, they all gave me weird looks at my explaination. Michael folded his arms staring at me with a flat stare not buying my lie.
"No vampire carry those bullets only hunters" Michael's eyes change hard.
I lower my gaze to the floor finding it hard to look anyone in the eye because I didn't want them to see my weakness and stupidity.
"I guess you already know Michael" I said emotionless.
I walked outside to start my training already not wanting anymore 21 questions. All I wanted to do is put that mistake away and focus on my aim. My aim to ruin the person that ruin everything I wanted. I want him to pay for what he has done no matter what it takes.
I walked over to the big gym feeling relax and secure in this space. I didn't bother getting gloves relaying on my healing ability. I clenched my jaw and punch the hard bag feeling the rocks inside it. I kept picturing her in my head again and again the way I pictured my dad. Her words replay over my head like a broken tape.
My heart pound loudly as I increase my speed feeling blood stain my knuckles. I jump on the spot keeping my blood flowing.
3 hours later you can smell the blood and sweat in the air. I fell on the blue matt seeing the sweat drop on the mat. I couldn't get rid of this feeling no matter what I do. I can't help but feel useless and stupid for letting all this happen.
I sat against the machine feeling my tank top stick to my body. I can smell the familiar scent lingering in the air, the scent I smelt yesterday. I look to see Dominic sitting down on the bench with his arms behind his head relaxed.
"Feeling better after breaking two punching bags?"He said sarcastically.
I didn't bother replying I took a drink of my cold water feeling his eyes burn on my face.
"What do you want Dominic?" I sighed loudly.
"When was the last time you had a drink?" I knew he was talking about the blood.
"Last Monday why?"
Before I could even blink he stood infront of me inches away from my face. I held my breath trying to keep my emotions inside.
"Have you ever drinked from the vein?" He whispered.
I frown at his question not liking where he is going with this. He move closer his eyes lowering to my neck making my mouth dry. The thought of his lips on my neck made my fingers tingle twitching uncomfortable. I wanted to get away from because everytime he's near it feels like I'm under his control. Like he's using his powers on me some how.
"How about I show you what it's like?" His voice came in a whisper fanning against my cheek causing me to shiver slightly.
"No. I'm fine-
"No you're not you are never fine until you accept what you really are" He stared at me intensely.
I was taken back by his words not really knowing what to say to that. I always thought since I could lie I was a pretty good actor. I could act and pretend to be ok and everyone thought I was. I thought I had everyone believe me that I'm ok with being what I am but fooling Dominic is something no one can do.
"I do" I clenched my jaw backing away.
His hand shot around my waist pulling me closer to him, I gasp at the close contact. I quickly push him away making him stumble back. He didn't mind that he just rushed over to me in fast blurr grabbing me and push me against the wall. Being close to him is suffocating me, my lungs feels weak and can't cope with oxygen.
"Get off me" I groan annoyed.
I push him roughly punching him with all I got, he caught my fist spinning me around to my back against his chest. I breathe roughly trying to get away from his tight hold. I grab hold of his wrist and twist causing him to losen enough for me to elbow him on his gut causing him to bent forward. I punch him straight in the face and swipe my feet underneath his making him fall on his back.
"I taught you well" He laughed in pain.
He flash me his amuse face causing me to glare at him annoyed how he finds everything so hilarious.
Unbelievable.