鬼
It was still night when he awoke. Sourly, he acknowledged the coldness that came with it. He jumped off the bed and slipped on his shoes, placing his cloak around his neck, hiding his mother's necklace. With that, he spared a glance toward the window and walked out quietly.
The hallways were as dark as every other part of the temple, but when he exited, the other side of the temple was lit up by the moonlight. It shone, large and bright.
A sudden throb in his chest made his breathing falter.
It reminded him of the time Zuko asked him to dance under the cover of the moon. It was the day after he had leaned it to kiss him, and the very same day he had cried on his back when they left with Song's ostrich horse.
Slowly walking to the edge, he lowered himself, careful not to get too close. Not tearing his eyes off the sky, he continued staring up at the moon.
He remembered it all too clearly. To the point, it was stuck on a loop and all it became was an annoying memory.
"Can't sleep?" A voice ran out behind him.
Turning around, Mio saw Sokka.
"Bad dream" He answered, looking away once more.
It took Sokka a few seconds to stand right beside him. "Same."
Caught off guard, Mio peered at him, "I'd expected you to say something else."
Sokka furrowed his brows. "I'm sorry, okay?"
Mio sighed, moving to the side so he could sit, yet, he said nothing. "I'm sorry too." Sokka slowly shook his head, a frown forming on the curves of his lips. "I shouldn't have lost faith in you. It's just... when Katara explained to me what had happened... it felt like you were playing with us. Pretending to be our friend. Our family. You chose Zuko without hesitation."
Mio pulled his knees to his stomach as he listened.
"But you're not a monster. Nor a killing machine. Sure, you may be an ass-kicking assassin, but that doesn't mean you've lost all your humanity."
"I was blinded by the possibility of changing things. For the better. I didn't want to leave Zuko because I thought that things had changed. I thought that he had changed. He clearly didn't and he saw me as nothing but a traitor. Despite everything I did for him. Despite leaving you guys behind and fighting you."
"All that ended up with him burning me."
Sokka's eyes widened. He turned to look at him with a confused expression. "What do you mean he burned you?" He took a seat next to him. Mio sighed quietly and gently pulled up his bandages, this time, he took them all off. Revealing the huge burn mark and his almost healed cuts.
"Most of it was self-inflicted, others are from my time as an assassin, and that-" He trailed along the burn mark with his index finger, "Was all Zuko."
Just as Sokka was about to storm up and probably start a fight in the middle of the night, Mio tugged on his arm, pulling him back down to his butt.
Sokka huffed, crossing his arms, and gave him a look that read 'why'd you do that?'
Mio shook his head, taking hold of Sokka's hand and rubbing it, soothing the other boy just slightly. "I'm fine Sokka. This stays between us. Please. Aang needs a firebending teacher. And I hate to admit it, but Zuko is the only one at this moment, who can teach him."
Sokka groaned before caving in, nodding slowly as a sign of defeat. "Okay, but I won't hesitate to face him if he ever hurts you again."
"Don't worry. I don't plan on getting any closer to him than necessary."
❥・❥
After a while of silence, Sokka left to sleep again. But Mio just simply couldn't close his eyes. Every single goddamn time, his face popped up, repeating all those awful words.
He sighed tiredly, the moon was long gone and the sun had begun to rise, yet it still wasn't enough to wake the others, as they were snoring very loudly. Which Mio guessed was mostly Sokka.
He felt uncomfortable having Zuko around after so long. Then again, he's been doing everything possible to ignore and avoid him ever since yesterday.
He eventually stood up and made his way around the temple, exploring every little room and old artifacts. But still, even after hours of walking around, sleep never took over him. He now found himself up in the highest room of a building, the room had no walls, just plain pillars to keep the roof on top.
He takes a seat and lets his legs dangle off the edge, looking off at the bright sight of the sun.
"Hey..."
Agni. He tenses up at the rough voice. He doesn't answer.
"I know what I did back in the Palace cells was wrong. And I want you to know that I didn't mean what I said back there. I was just angry that you didn't respond. And... and I was confused. I just needed someone to confide in and tell them my darkest secrets-"
"Just shut up."
And like that, Zuko closed his mouth.
"I don't care about your shitty apologies. I already told you. I can't forgive you. Please, the best thing you can do for me to at least accept you like a teammate is to leave me alone. I can't and won't forgive you, so why keep trying?"
Zuko slowly made his way next to Mio, taking a seat beside him. "Because I love you. I was too much of a coward to admit it. Because I wanted my Father's approval. And I know he would never accept me or you... but I know now, that I love you more than just a friend or companion."
"You lost my love long ago."
Mio began standing up, and so did Zuko. He took hold of his wrist before he got the chance to walk down the stairs.
He looked up at his bright gold eyes. "Don't fucking touch me!" With a sway of his arms, the water from his waterskin collided with Zuko's hand, just slightly pushing him away.
"If you love me, then let me go. Because I've already moved on. Please, Zuko."
He cried, slowly, tears flowed down the Prince's pale cheeks. The one person he had truly loved ever since a kid, has moved on?
He doesn't feel the same anymore?
Agni.
Is this how Mio felt when he broke his heart? Is this why he can't forgive him? He had put him through all this pain and chose to ignore it. Because his pain was far bigger than anyone else's.
He was such an idiot.
You're supposed to cherish and care for the person you love, yet he did the opposite. He taunted his relationship with Mai, he broke his heart, he betrayed him, and he burned him.
Shit, he just now remembered that last part. Back in the cells, he couldn't sleep after leaving. Every time he closed his eyes, all that replayed on a loop was Mio's pained screams. The way translucent tears graced his cheeks from the burning sensation. How could he be such a fool? How had he not seen all the effort Mio put in so he could continue?
Because he was too focused on himself and his stupid honor.
He doesn't recall crying like this ever since his Mother disappeared. That day, he hadn't just lost a Mother, but a lover, too. And it seemed like now, he had lost him for good.
He didn't try to force them away, he cried his heart out. Agni it felt so good to finally cry without caring if someone saw him or not. All that pent-up anger and sadness finally broke free. His salty tears tasted regretful and sorrowful. But beyond them, he finally acknowledged his true love for Mio. Not Shoko, or some prisoner he took in to lure the Avatar as he had done a long time ago.
And he wished that Mio could see the way his heart ached whenever he saw the younger boy crying.
But he knew that wishes won't come true unless you actually do something.
He had moved on.
And he can't forgive himself whenever he looks into those dull emotionless eyes.
"You lost my love long ago."
But he can't help it. No matter what's behind that cold, expressionless face, he can still see clear as day, Mio's still hurting as well. He can't forgive himself when he knows that he's the one who caused this pain. He confessed to him, yet he still managed to hurt him.
He closed his eyes and clenched his fists tightly.
No matter what, he will always love him. Even if his father never approves of him. Even if society casts them out. He won't hurt him anymore. At least, he'll try.
❥
"In the end, trust no one but yourself."