The morning is slow and unhurried. They both wake up at different times and opt to slip back under sleep's spell. They both feel incredibly exhausted. It's not until the sun is high in the sky that Lena can't fall back under. She chooses to lay on her side, watching Kara sleep. She smiles lightly at the quiet snores and little twitches in the blonde's face. She must be dreaming. Lena is gentle as she reaches out to run the pads of her fingers down that unfairly symmetrical face. She's pleased to see it relax under her ministrations.
She could spend eternity like this.
Internally, Lena sighs at the thought. She could easily spending all her time with this woman, but she doesn't know how to be in a relationship. Hell, she barely has any friends. Just Sam, and that was more of Sam's doing than Lena's. That fear of inadequacy creeps up her spine. She can barely manage her own emotions much less take someone else's feelings into consideration.
And Kara... poor Kara. Her last relationship was just so horrible that she is still recovering from it. Maybe they are moving too fast. Maybe they aren't ready. Lena does her best to stop the thoughts in their tracks, but it's difficult. There is a nagging feeling in the back of her head that her conclusion isn't unjustified. She has never learned how to deal with the trauma she's faced. She gives herself credit; she is learning. It's slow and hard, but Kelly has been helping her figure herself out. It's just going to take time. They both need time to heal, but the question remains... Can they heal together?
Lena keeps tracing that loveable face. She's so deep in thought that she doesn't even notice that blue eyes are staring back at her. She's only alert when a raspy voice whispers, "Mornin'." When Lena goes to pull away her hand, Kara is quick to tack on, "Don't stop."
Lena smiles as she puts her fingers back on soft skin to continue their venture. "Good morning, darling."
"What were you thinking about?"
Lena lets a sigh escape. "Things that I probably shouldn't be thinking about. But... I just can't help it."
"Care to share?" Kara's voice is soft, free of judgment and malice.
Lena bites her lip. She really should start sharing her thoughts. This is how they wound up in this mess in the first place. "I- couldn't help but wonder if we- if we are going to fast." Lena moves her finger to try to smooth out the crinkle forming. "It's just a random thought that came; it doesn't mean that I believe it. But... it does make me wonder. We both have so much trauma. I still need time to heal from mine, and I won't speak for you, but I do worry about you. I- I just... I don't know if trying to tackle it together will help or hinder..."
Kara hums slightly in response. She takes a moment before choosing her words carefully. "I understand where your brain is coming from, and honestly I don't know either. I won't pretend to know what will definitively work or not work, but what I do know, is that we both tried to cope on our own before we even met. And I don't think I'm speaking out of turn when I say that we both did horrendous jobs of it."
Lena chuckles and nods her head in agreement with that sentiment.
Kara continues gently, "To me, it can't be any worse. I didn't even tell anyone about Mike for years. I pretended like it didn't even happen or that it didn't impact me the way it has. Last night..." Kara chokes up. "Last night, when I... when I flinched at your touch... I never want to react that way again. I never want to make you feel like you did something wrong by just trying to comfort me."
Lena opens her mouth to protest, but Kara shakes her head and presses on. "I know... I know. You didn't feel like that for very long, but you still felt it at some level. You compared yourself to him because how could you not in the moment. But going back to if we are going too fast, I think we are stronger together. We've both provided comfort to each other. We've both made mistakes. But we have each other to keep ourselves accountable and on track. That's just my thoughts. I don't want to pressure you into agreeing with me if it's not what you need, Lena. I just want you happy. I want us to be happy."
Lena feels tears welling up in her eyes. She blinks them back, fortunately. They have done way too much crying as of late. She shakily leans forward to close the miniscule gap between their lips. When she pulls back, she whispers a quiet, "Thank you."
"And if it makes a difference, I- I think I've decided to take Kelly up on her offer. Get connected to a colleague of hers."
"Darling, I don't want you to feel pressured if you aren't ready."
Kara gently cuts her off, "I'm not. I don't feel pressured. I want to be better. I- I don't ever want to have those reactions with a partner."
Lena breaks eye contact and bites her lips. She starts to tremble as she thinks about their first night together. She doesn't want to bring it up; she really doesn't. But... they made a promise to each other, and they were both just reminded of how devastating it is to not voice their concerns. She takes a deep, steading breath, summoning all the courage she can to ask. "S-so... that first night that we... that we spent together... did- did I- were you just as upset when I thought that you were... them?"
Kara's eyes widen. Her hands can't stay still as she is quick to reassure, "No, no, no, no. Lena, not at all. It was a reaction, just like mine. And I know you felt awful when you were able to come back. That's how I felt about the flinch. I don't want to ruin anything with you. You engaged in therapy to try to deal with the trauma. It's the same for me. I want to try to figure out how to keep Mike behind me. Not let him dictate my life any longer."
Lena sniffles as she nods. Logically, she understands what Kara is telling her, but emotionally, she just can't sort through it the same way. That will take time and probably a few sessions with Kelly. Right now, she is just grateful that she is here with Kara. She focuses on the positives. Kara doesn't think they are moving too fast. She wants to stay with Lena. They are both going to get the professional help they need. Lena just needs to be patient.
"Do you believe me?"
The level of vulnerability in such few words snaps Lena out of her thoughts. "Yes. I believe you, Kara."
Kara lets out a sigh of relief. She still has one more question for Lena, which she is scared of the answer. "Do- When you mean we are going too fast, do you want me to... to keep my own place?"
Lena's eyes go so soft, and she has a sad smile. "My offer still stands, but I completely understand if you want to keep some space for yourself."
"No," Kara surges forward to kiss the woman again. "No, I want to move in with you."
They can't stop taking turns in kissing one another. Their hands wander more or less innocently, taking physical reassurance from each other. Neither really know how long they stay in bed, but Kara's stomach does the interrupting.
"I suppose we should get you fed. And text Sammy and your sister that we are alive," Lena groans as she buries her head in Kara's shoulder.
Kara's stomach growls again. "Yeah, we probably should."
Neither makes a move to do what they are saying. It's at least a few minutes before Lena kisses Kara's exposed shoulder and slides out of the bed. "I'll see what you have on hand."
************************
"Speak of the devils. Lena just texted me. They are finally up and moving. They want to do dinner tonight, and barring any emergencies at LCorp, I have the day off. Even though half the day is already gone."
Alex squeezes Sam's hand. "Good thing there haven't been any emergencies."
Sam smirks as she responds to the message. "Well, if I get in trouble with the big boss lady, I'll just tell her that I was distracted with promises of long and fast rides."
Alex nearly does a spit take at Sam's banter. "You're the one who suggested the motorcycle ride this morning."
"I thought it would help you relax, baby." Sam keeps her flirty tone.
A blush quickly rises across Alex's face. She ducks her head down to keep Sam's eyes away from the evidence that she is flustered... once again. "Well, you weren't wrong."
"Hey," Sam's voice turns light, loving, "I know all of this is taking a heavier toll than you let on. You don't have to shoulder it alone, Ally. I'm here."
Alex lift's Sam's hand to her lips to press a gentle kiss on those knuckles. "I know. Thank you."
"Who says chivalry is dead." Sam takes a sharp breath in. "Why do you have to be so damn irresistible all of the time?"
"You seem to be doing just fine... resisting."
Sam can hear the slightly somber tone. "Hey, babygirl. I didn't say that to make you feel bad. I'm comfortable with your pace. /I just want you to know how much I care about you and attractive you are with all the little things you do. Trust me; if I wasn't resisting, I would be jumping your bones every minute of every day. Lena would have to fire me because I would be too busy with you."
"If you did that, then how would you be my sugar mom?"
Sam's eyes light up at hearing Alex using that term for her. "Huh, I suppose that is a flawed plan of mine. See? Good thing I'm dedicating so much energy to resisting."
Both chuckle lightly as they get distracted by their phones going off. "Look at that, my sister finally decided to text."
"We should probably head back. I'll need time to shower."
Alex groans. "Please tell me that we aren't going to another ridiculously expensive restaurant so soon."
"Don't worry," Sam says smirking. "We are going more casual, but I still need time to shower and get ready."
"Alright, after you milady." Alex bows slightly as she pulls out Sam's chair for her to stand up and head out of the little ice cream shop. Alex may or may not have taken the longer route home, but she just wanted more time in this bubble with Sam. They haven't talked details yet about when they would head out to Metropolis. Alex is slightly anxious about it. She has zero reservations about going, but she's still nervous. It's a definitive test of their relationship since most of their energies have been put on Lena and Kara.
When she parks, she can tell that Sam knew about the detour. All it takes is that few extra seconds of a squeeze while both are still mounted on the bike for her to know that Sam picked up on her tenseness. She leans back into it and pats Sam's arm in acknowledgment. They head up to Alex's apartment, taking their time getting ready. Sam drops the teasing just a smidge, wanting to give Alex time. She has a suitcase with her own shower products that are much higher quality, but she still opts to use Alex's. There is something about the scent that is soothing to her. She takes her time and tries her best to relax under the steady, hot water. She hopes her best friend is okay. All of this is such a mess - not due to anyone's fault, but still a mess. She just wants everyone to safe and happy and free.
Since Lena is having a driver pick up Kara and her first, they get a few extra moments to cuddle on the couch before being called downstairs for dinner. Sam coaxes Alex to lay with her head on Sam's lap. She runs her fingers through Alex's short hair, scratching at her scalp. They let a comfortable silence surround them. Sam can't stop the smile that is creeping across her face. She would be happy spending forever like this.
It isn't long before Sam gets a text from Lena saying they are pulling up. She has to gently rouse Alex from her sleep so they can meet up with Kara and Lena. Sam stops Alex before they step out into the street. It's a silent check in, just to be sure that Alex is feeling better after finding Kara in that state. When she's convinced that her girlfriend is doing alright, she whispers, "I love you."
Alex nods her head with a smile. She kisses the back of Sam's hand again before leading her outside. After they slide into the back of the car, all the women exchange pleasantries and idle chit chat. They keep it light, preferring to wait until the restaurant to discuss anything more serious. There's an undercurrent in the space that isn't easy for any of them to put their thumbs on, but all of them feel pretty tired. When they all clamor out of the vehicle and head inside, there are three sets of furrowed brows. There's no one else there.
"Ms. Luthor, we are so pleased to be able to accommodate you this evening. Right this way."
Lena dutifully moves to follow the hostess, but she turns back when she realizes she's not being followed. She arches a brow at the confused looks she's on the receiving end. "What? I rented the place out to give us some privacy."
Sam lets out a loud laugh before she brushes pass the sisters. "Classic move, Lee."
Alex and Kara just blankly look around the restaurant before looking at each other. Both of their jaws snap shut at the same time when they realize their mouths are open. It's safe to say that neither of them are used to the level of wealth these women possess.