Arjuna had quenched his thirst with the water of Yamuna and walked back to the shore, settling himself under a tree. He had been without food and water for days altogether, until the news of the prince's birth had reached him. As he was outside the city, it took a great time for any information to reach him, and his strict austerity was thus prolonged. But he had no regret or displeasure about that.
He was smiling continously since he had gotten to know that Krishnaa had given birth to a baby boy and both the mother and the baby were healthy. It was all that he wanted.
Not before a few months though. He had wanted to take part in the joy of the birth of Krishnaa's child, he had wanted to run around and make arrangements for the celebration of the child's birth, he had wanted to give the baby the most beautiful of all gifts, he had wanted to live his childhood once again with the first heir of the Pandava family after Ghatotkacha. The son of Vrikodara did not have a childhood of his own and they did not get enough time to spend with him. Arjuna had wanted the child of his beloved wife and his beloved eldest brother to complete that dearth, but he was once again disappointed. The child was born and was in existence, but he was obstructed from reaching out to him.
But more than the disappointment, he was happy that everything was well within his family. There were no more complications, his wife was all right, and the kingdom was bubbling with celebration. Though he wasn't a part of the celebration physically, his heart was still stuck at the threshold of his home. He knew that wherever he might be, even if he travelled to another universe, he wouldn't be able to sever the bonds with his loved ones. They were thicker than even blood, stronger than any material ties, they were if their souls were stitched together at the heavenly realm before sending them to the Earth. Even if he became the most detached man to exist, he would still remain attached to his brothers, his mother, his wife and his child, there was no doubt about that.
Was that how his best friend Krishna lived? He had assumed that it was an art that Krishna alone possessed, to be detached and attached at the same time. But it slowly made sense to him that it is an art that can be learnt only if the bonds around you are strong enough to let you free, when they are as pure as an austerity in themselves. Even if there are minor flaws in them, if there is selflessness at the core of the bond, then it makes the bond pure.
He got up from the ground and walked back towards the temple of Mahadeva, and kneeled down before the Lord. "Prabhu, I cannot thank you enough for showering your mercy upon the Pandavas as always. An unparalleled joy has come into our lives with the birth of Kaarshneya. My family is experiencing such precious moments after a long time and I know that my absence would disturb them. But I do want to be the reason for these happy moments going in vain..."
He took a deep breath and added earnestly, "My family will definitely miss my presence, but let that not spoil the quality of their celebrations. Krishnaa and Jyeshtha should have all the joy of being parents and nothing should become a disturbance in that feeling, even if it is their affection and love for me. Make all my good wishes, my blessings and my excitement on his arrival reach the little scion of the Pandavas and Panchali. Though I won't be able to bring him up, let him feel that there is this father of his who wished to be by his side always yet the machinations of destiny did not support his wishes. But more importantly, let him be happy, let all of them be happy and prosperous!"
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Krishnaa cradled her baby close to her bosom, her countenance dripping with tears of exhaustion, mingled with tears of ecstasy that freshly flowed down her dark cheeks. Milk flowed from her breast as she pressed loving kisses on the baby's face, whose skin hue and eyes were reflections of hers. As she fed milk to the baby, her exhaustion refused to let her sit straight and before she could call out to the midwife, someone had supported her from behind. When she craned her neck to see who it was, her eyes went wider in surprise to find Yudhishthira.
Though her astonishment was palpable, he did not say anything and blinked his eyes once in reassurance, before turning to the other people in the chamber. "Mata, I'll be here with Krishnaa. You take instructions from the midwives if there's anything for us to know and keep me informed."
Krishnaa found her mother-in-law in smiles after a long time and it made her lips curve into a full smile. Soon the women emptied the chamber, and she was left alone with Yudhishthira and their newborn baby.
"Aren't you supposed to be occupied with the court sessions?" She asked him grimly as her palms caressed the child's soft head, her heart melting as the little one snuggled closer to her heart.
"I always had time to be with you, but the weight on my heart didn't let me come to you," he confessed honestly. "You were going to be a mother but I couldn't keep your heart and didn't even know how to console you. I myself was clueless myself about how to deal with my brother's absence. But the past two days when you were in pain, I realized that my guilt was not more important than being with you."
Krishnaa attempted to place the baby on the bed, and Yudhishthira helped her with that, smiling widely as he touched his child for the first time and heard him gurgle. She adjusted herself on the bed beside the bed beside the baby and turned to look at him.
"I understand what you were going through. It was exactly the same thing that was running inside me. I was thinking that you were upset with me, that everyone was upset with me due to Arjuna's exile. I was feeling guilty that I had created a crack in the inseparable Pandava family. Wasn't it because of my mere presence that Arjuna is enduring all this and you all are living apart from your brother?"
"What is all this, Krishnae, that is not true!" Yudhishthira was flabbergasted. "The vow was taken by the Pandavas and we were supposed to abide by it. You can never be considered guilty for that, you have never committed any mistake even mistakenly. You are my Dharmadarshini, you cannot think like that about yourself. Not only the Pandava family but the whole of Kuru and Panchala treats you with the highest regard and admiration!"
"Then how can you think that I will hold you guilty for it, Svami? Don't I know about the bond between you and Arjuna? Why would I blame you when I know how sorrowful you yourself are?" She managed to keep her tone low so that the baby was not disturbed.
"I'm sorry, Krishnae, I was carried away... but this won't be repeated. Arjuna has to physically live away from us for these twelve years, but he'll be with us every second mentally if we discard this feeling of burden from our hearts. If we do not digest the truth and keep resisting it, and keep feeling guilty, we'll push him away from ourselves. Do you agree with me?"
"Yes, Svami, you are right. His memory should be treasured, it should bring joy to our hearts and smiles to our lips. We need to keep his essence here, as if he is always with us. That is the only way to end this period of darkness in Indraprastha and fill it with light and life once again. His physical departure made Indraprastha shrunken, but if we make sure that we do not shy away from pride and happiness at his name, and forsake this distress and guilt, we can bring our kingdom back to life."
"No better time to initiate this process than the time we have invited a new life into our lives, Maharani," Yudhishthira said with a newfound sense of purpose. "Unlike the Simantonayanam, our child's Namakaranam will be an euphoric festivity. This is what my brother would also prefer."
Krishnaa nodded her head in agreement as she adored her child who was blinking his eyes innocently. His arrival had brought the wave of change that she was hoping to see, and it also filled her with a fulfilment that she had never experienced before. A small hope lingered in the corners of her heart, that along with all the members of family, Arjuna too would get to see the piece of her heart once. But that was a hope that wouldn't manifest until twelve more springs passed.