Note: Slight mature content. A small paragraph. You can skip it if that is uncomfortable.
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"Jyeshtha, the vow was made for a purpose and if the penalty is not paid, then the purpose of making the vow would be futile and that will be disastrous for our relations with each other and with Krishnaa."
Arjuna was as rigid as he could be, his gaze lowered to his feet, his palms clasped together, his voice robotic. All his brothers were in a miserable state and his mother was sobbing in the embrace of his teary-eyed wife. The eldest Pandava was not willing to let go of his brother, to see his family as incomplete, when he was hoping for it to be complete. He was trying his best to convince his younger brother to change his decision but Arjuna was stubborn in his stance.
"Phalguna, I know that Guru Dhaumya had also adviced you to leave, but as the King who has to make sure that justice prevails, I cannot allow this injustice to happen to anyone. When you haven't done anything wrong, you cannot be punished! As your elder brother, I do not want you to suffer for no mistake of yours. Do you think we'll end up quarrelling with each other or with Krishnaa? Are we that petty?"
"I know that we are beyond quarrels and such. We are brothers, we've always been together, and we all care for Krishnaa immensely. But this is also about Krishnaa's honor. I haven't done anything wrong yet but it will be wrong if I do not go on exile. She's not a matter of nonchalance, neither was the vow we had taken regarding her. Thus this is my earnest request to you, Jyeshtha, please allow me to leave Indraprastha for twelve years."
"I understand, Arjuna, but this is not for a few days or months. Twelve years won't pass that easily for any of us if you go away. The one whose respect you are talking about, can you imagine what would be her state if you do not be in her life for such a long time?"
"Everything comes with a price, Jyeshtha, whether it be respect or disrespect. It is my responsibility to correct my mistakes. Her bond shall not be a barrier in my path of penance and not only hers, none of my familial bonds shall become barriers. Isn't this the whole essence of Tapasya, to grow beyond the materialistic attachments?"
"I agree with that, Anuja. But if you have any belief in my knowledge, then listen to what I have to say. I don't want to be guilty of not telling you this. The younger brother can always walk in when an elder brother and his wife are together, it's not considered something faulty. Only the elder brother acts indecently by walking in when a younger brother and his wife are together. You have earned no sin whatsoever, you haven't displeased me or Krishnaa. Then why do you have to repent? Why do you want to go?"
"Any justification to my action would be sheer injustice to my conscience. It was an act of courage and I do not want my courage to be proven worthless. I do not want to quibble at the face of Dharma. I do not want to act against my morals and principles. My truth is my weapon and I can never disregard the truth. I choose the path of penance, virtue and righteousness. Let me go on exile, Jyeshtha, it is inevitable."
"As you say." Yudhishthira sighed in defeat as Arjuna bent down and touched the feet of his eldest brother. The latter pulled him up and embraced him tightly, tears adorning both of their eyes. He then took the blessings of his mother and his other elder brother Vrikodara, who had showered their immense affection and goodwill on him, letting him go though they did not wish to. His younger siblings Nakula and Sahadeva clung to his arms, asking him to return soon, and at that point, he could not stop himself from letting his guards down and show his own grief of parting from his family. He passed a fleeting glance towards his wife and left immediately.
"I tried all possible ways, Krishnae," Yudhishthira stated, his voice turning hoarse. "But I couldn't stop him from leaving. I'm sorry that I failed...I'm sorry that I couldn't make him stay."
The King of Indraprastha walked away from there to hide his emotional state. Krishnaa left the meeting chambers herself, with tears streaming down her cheeks, as she quickened her pace to go to the man who would vanish any moment from the palace.
The guards before his chamber opened the doors for her and she entered inside, and found him standing near the balcony. She locked the doors from inside and the sound made Arjuna snap his head towards her in surprise. She walked straight towards him and entwined his palms with his ones.
"You gave me the comfort that I needed, Arjuna. Do you think I won't be able to give you the comfort that you need?"
"How can I ask for your comfort?" He looked into her eyes that were brimming with tears. "I'm leaving you behind for twelve years. Do I still have the right to ask something from you?"
"When everything is yours, why do you hesitate to ask something from me?" She squeezed his palms reassuringly. "Arjuna, I'm your wife, and this truth won't change no matter what."
"I want to tell you that I will carry your existence in my heart wherever I go and whatever situation I might be in. The distance will change nothing between us. It never had the potential to and it will never have. You are the one who brought a flicker of hope into my life, always brightening it with your presence. You make me shine like the moon in darkness, like the sun in light, with the love and adoration you have for me, which I don't know how I came to deserve. Of course, many say that I deserve you because of my archery skills. But I don't believe that my talent gives me the right to get your love."
"I'm surely proud of you for your archery skills, but that doesn't define my Arjuna for me. Archery makes you unique, it is something special in you. But the man I had fallen in love with, the husband whom I love, he's beyond all that. I cannot explain my love in words, I can't give a reason to it. It is something that is inherent in you, Arjuna, something that no one sees but I do..." Krishnaa said in an ardent tone. "One wouldn't be able to analyze my love for you. Only I know the nature and essence of it, and you would know as you feel it. I promise you that you'll be as much part of my life as I'll be yours in these twelve years, if not more. There won't be a day when I won't remember you. There won't be a moment when I will not wait for you."
"I love you more than I can ever express to you, Krishnaa." Arjuna teared up as he tenderly held her face in his palms and pressed his lips lovingly against hers. She threaded her fingers into his curly hair and held his shoulder with her other palm as she kissed him deeply, the saline tears that stained their cheeks finding their way into the sweetness of their kiss.
Once their lips parted, he wiped the tears away from her face with his palm, and he gazed at her with a mixture of love, ache and guilt. He attempted to capture the image of her beautiful countenance in his orbs, as if that was the salvation for him from his submerging agony.
"You said that my bond is not a barrier. Then what are you doing?" She could not see the pain that was etched on his features, it broke her heart more than her own pain and sorrow.
"I'm not a Sanyasi or Vairagi so as not to feel anything. Your separation, the absence of my brothers and mother, all of it will continue to affect me. The bonds won't stop me from going on exile but... they will keep pulling me. This is not renunciation, this is just an illusion of that. I dread this experience, Krishnaa, I don't know how I'll do it."
She let out a painful sigh at his heart-rending words and tip-toed on her feet to wipe his tears away with her palms. He supported her by holding her waist as she planted fond kisses on his cheeks, jaw, nose and his forehead graced with Chandra Tilaka. Clutching his back tightly, she pushed herself up once more to kiss his closed eyes, sending her warmth into him.
"Whenever you fall weak, just remember that your Krishnaa wants to see you stand strong. Whenever you remember me, you should feel more driven towards your duty and not pulled back. I want to be your Shakti, not your weakness. I have no complaints or questions for you, do not worry about me. All that matters to me is your well-being. Just be alright for me, Arjuna, be safe and healthy."