I tap my foot against the floor, for what seems like the millionth time in the past few minutes.
Donovan has been here for almost an hour, and because I'm not family, they won't tell me anything other than that he's alive.
A loud bang jolts me in my seat, and I see them before I hear them, Donovan's parents storming down the halls, looking exactly like how I feel like my world is falling apart.
"You!" His mom screams, raising her hand, coming over to me as my mom stands up next to me, stopping Donovan's mom's hand from connecting with my face.
"You will not touch my son!" My mom roars out, blocking her from me as Robbie stands up in front of me, as Clara's hand touches mine.
Unaffected, his mom glares down at me. "How dare you show your face here! After what you've done!"
"THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU JUST LEFT MY SON ALONE!" She yelled out, red-faced and heaving with anger. "You filthy, disgusting thing!" Her cold grey eyes bore into mine with such hate.
"GET OUT, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!" Her loud screeching voice bounces off the walls, as Donovan's private security move from Donovan's room, to where we were, an angry, cold expression on his face.
"Ma'am, please calm down or I'll have to escort you outside."
One of Donovan's security says, holding onto her arm.
Mary Steele shoves the man's hand from her arm and scoffs, as Jacob Steele smiles apologetically at me, his eyes bloodshot, he looked like he had aged ten years in mere minutes, unlike Mary, who simply looked angry, rather than upset, like her husband.
A doctor enters the hallway and walks over to us and the commotion Donovan's mom caused, a scowl on his face as he stares down the older woman, straightening her expensive dress down with her hands.
"Are you the family of Donovan Steele?" He asks his parents, and they nod their heads.
"You can see him now, he's awake and stable." He tells them, before looking at me apologetically.
"I'm sorry, it's family only."
My heart sinks as the words leave his mouth, watching as Donovan's doctor leads his parents down the hall and into the room Donovan is in, leaving me in the hallway, with my mom, Robbie, and Clara.
"Not family." Tears fall down my face, laughing bitterly. "I'm his fucking boyfriend!" I snap out as Robbie rubs my back as my mom holds my hand, sitting next to me.
"I've been there for him, what have they done for him?" I snap out, glaring down the hall where they once stood.
"Evan, could I get you something to drink?" Clara asks, and I shake my head. "What about something to eat?"
"I just want to see him." I rub my face roughly with my tear-soaked hands. "I live with him, fucking hell! I should be in there with him, not them!"
"Evan." My mom squeezes my hand, her voice calm. "He's alive, he's alright, despite Donovan's relationship with his parents, he is still their son, and they are still his parents."
I understand what my mom is saying, but it doesn't make me feel any better.
He was alone and so disorientated when I found him, huddled in the corner like that, alone, probably scared out of his mind, all while a party was going on downstairs for me.
If only I had known something was wrong... if only he just told me if he was sick... I could've gotten him help sooner, and none of this would have happened.
I release a shaky breath as I see Donovan's doctor exit his room and come down the hall towards me, behind him, both of Donovan's parents leave his room, with Jacob Steele crying and Mary with a sour look on her face.
"Evan Beckett?" The doctor says and I stand up, wiping my eyes as I nod my head.
"Donovan is fine, I'm making him rest for now but you can visit him later tomorrow during visitation times." He tells me, making me sigh in relief that he's fine.
"Can you tell me what happened to him?" I almost beg, as he slowly nods his head, holding the clipboard in his hands.
"He had an exhaustion-induced panic attack and a very severe one at that." He said. "It was most likely caused by overworking his body and an extreme lack of sleep, but with plenty of rest he will be fine, we'd still like to keep him in and observe for a day or two, given the details of how you found him."
Donovan had a panic attack? And he wasn't sleeping?
.....What?
That doesn't make any sense, Donovan is the most responsible guy I know, knowing how well firsthand how much he sleeps, especially since I moved in with him, it seems like that's all we did.
He was fine the last time I saw him, he slept fine... he didn't-He wouldn't risk sleep for anything-
"He was supposed to come home next week." My voice trembles as I have a suspicion about what caused this "This was my fault... b-because it was my birthday, he flew home a w-week early, he pushed h-himself because of m-me."
The doctor frowns and nods his head, somewhat understanding the situation more now as he looks at me with sympathy in his eyes.
"Donovan needs to take it easy, I'm afraid this will only happen again if he keeps this up." The doctor said before putting his hand on my shoulder.
"You couldn't have caused this, it's not your fault." He said as my chest clenched tightly.
"Go home and get some rest, you can see him tomorrow." With that, the doctor walks past me, back down the hall where his parents are standing, outside of his door, as Jacob comforts Mary.
"Come on baby." My mom says, wrapping her arm around me as Clara puts her hand on my arm comfortingly. "Let's get you home."
"This isn't your fault Evan." Robbie tells me, but I shake my head, knowing this is exactly my fault.
"You couldn't have known this would happen." Clara said beside me.
I start walking down the hall towards the stairs, looking back one last time, seeing Mary's cold glaring stare watching me go just before I walk past a corner, the last thing I see is the eyes of Donovan's mother, probably wishing it was me in that hospital room, and not her son.
I shake my head, and put my hand over my forehead, my eyes sore from crying and my head pounding painfully,
"He shouldn't have even been here Robbie, it's my fault he pushed himself to this... because I wanted to spend my birthday with him." I breathe out shakingly, my hands still shaking. "I made him push himself... b-because of me he wasn't even sleeping, o-or looking after himself."
"I fucking did this to him!"
My mom stops me and glares at me. "Now you stop that young man!" She snaps out, her eyes filled with tears. "That man in there loves you, Evan!"
"This is nobody's fault, especially not yours! Even if you told Donovan not to come, he wouldn't have listened to you, because you mean more to him than anything money can buy, don't you dare blame yourself!"
We exit the hospital, with none of us saying another word to each other, with Robbie's hand around my shoulder, and Clara's hand in mine, I watch my mom go to bring the car around as I stood there, as rain poured heavily in front of me.
I just want this day to be over, so I can see him, to see his face, to feel his warm skin on mine once again, I'd give anything to see it right now, instead of going home without him by my side.
"It's going to be ok Evan." Clara whispers beside me, as I turn around and look back at the hospital, feeling like I've just been through something and I'm waiting for it to hit me. Y
My hands are still shaking... the rain will always be a clear reminder of how I found Donovan, seeing him like that will stick with me forever, and remind me that time with him is precious, and not even his mom could deny that.
I just it to be tomorrow already, so I can see him, and tell him how much I love him.
My mom pulls the car up, and I get in the backseat with Robbie as Clara sits up front, seeing for the first time since arriving here, just how much this has affected not only me, but Robbie, Clara, and my mom, as they equally have tear-stained faces.
I've been so selfish with worrying about Donovan, that I didn't even notice- or care about other people and what they were feeling...
I grab my phone with shaking hands and type in Stephen's name, I should at least let him know what I know...
I know he must have been the one to tell Donovan's parents what happened, but I doubt they would have told him the news, given how angry Donovan's mom was, and has distraught his dad was.
Swallowing hard I put the phone to my ear, and the call rings once before Stephen instantly picks up, not giving me a chance as he asks me if Donovan is alright, alive, anything, just something to stop himself from feeling how I was on the inside.
The whole ride I told him everything I knew, and that we could visit tomorrow, when we all made it back to the penthouse, with all the decorations still where we left them, a large 'happy birthday 23, Evan' sprawled across the room in balloons, and the sickening reminder of the fear that will live with me for the rest of my life.