"In the eye of storm, we stand still"
Sana layed in bed that night with her face getting hot from both fever as well as from the hot tears rolling down her face. She felt as if she was drowning and there was no one around her to save her, moreover she herself didn't wanted to be saved.
The ache in her chest was so much that she felt like she couldn't breath. Her breaths felt like a burden and walking to the balcony and jumping off from there felt like an easier option than living with this heart ache. She lost him, her husband and she lost herself with him as well.
She was in her pain set when she felt her bed move and the next, some weight was dropped onto her chest making her realize that Aarav was sleeping beside her and he has woken up somehow.
"Aaru bache",she called softly.
"Kya hua", she asked as he just hugged her tighter.
"Daa (dar) lag aa hein", he whispered spelling the r wrong like always.
"Kyu mere bache mumma hein naa apke paas",she cooed.
"Nightmaye", he muttered.
"Relax", she softly mumbled as she ruffled his hairs to comfort him.
"Hnmm hug me tuit (tight)", he said and her heart soared as she held her sweet little boy.
You know there are moments like this in life. The moments when you're actually loosing hope and the whole of yourself but then you need something to hold onto, to keep going and at this moment Aarav felt like that thread which she didn't knew she needed to make her keep going, keep living and keep hoping. And in this one moment when she held him tight against his chest with him still breathing and finding comfort in her. She knew this life of hers is worthy of living. She deserve to live, she might not have her husband by her side, the person whom she had loved the most, but she still have a part of his to cherish.
And she knew by this moment that she'll do it in the best way possible. The little boy of hers would get every single thing needed in the world and she isn't going to let anyone snatch him away from her, even if it means about her marrying again or anything for that matter. Remarriage, the thought seems sour but if it means about her keeping this child this close, she's ready!!
******
"Darn it! ", Sidharth muttered as he let his fist collide against the wall and his knuckles be bruised as an aftermath of his action.
He let himself sat down at his bed as he felt the familiar numbing pain in his knuckles which seem to soothe his daunting mind a bit. His head was pounding, his heart was heavy and all he wanted to do at the moment was to go to her and ask for her forgiveness.
He has been wanting to do everything in his power to make things better for her, for them but what did he end up doing?
Making it all ten times worse for her, she was already dealing with so much and his slip of tongue just added onto it.
Why couldn't he just kept his tongue in control?
How's he going to face her?
How's he going to make her understand that it was never his intention to make things come out this way, how would he justify his slip of tongue, how's he going to make her understand that he wasnt trying to take her husband's place by calling her with the nickname which was so precious to her!
But, alas! There was nothing he could do at the moment so he just layed there awake thinking, rethinking, hopelessly before the sleep got mercy on him and his lids finally closed on their own.
*******
One week later.....
It was yet another morning like the past seven days which has passed away with nothing happening on their expanse, but this morning Sidharth was determined to confront her unlike From the past week as, they've been avoiding each other like plague. Both lost in their own thought of guilt and none knowing how and where to begin.
"Hii uh good morning", he awkwardly said as he stood beside her in the kitchen but she didn't replied and kept moving.
"Baat nahi karengi", he asked cautiously.
"Baat karne ko baki kya hein", she said subconsciously.
"Itna bura hoon mein", he said evidently hurt.
"Aap bure nahi hein but trust me i ain't worthy of your efforts", she said looking down and he gazed at her amused.
"Aap kya bol rahe ho", he thought aloud.
"Sahi baat bol rahi hoon", she said.
"Can we sit down and talk", he asked cautiously and to his surprise she nodded walking to the dining and they took a seat, thanking the privacy inwardly which they've got as Aarav was out in the building playing with his friends.
"Hum aise nahi reh sakte", he stated.
"Mein bhi toh yahi keh rahi hoon hum aise nahi reh sakte aap apne kaam se kaam rakhiye or mujhe mere se rakhne dijiye it'll be better for both of us chize apke sath bahut unfair ho rahi hein", she said thoughtfully.
"Why are you hell bent on making this hard for us", he asked raising his voice and shaking his head in disappointment and she flinched.
"Am sorry", he quickly said as he saw her tensing up.
"Aap thik hein", he asked worriedly, concern itched all over his face.
"Hnmm", she nodded and silence fell among them.
She was fine, just disappointed and unknown regarding some stuff.
"Just leave me please, mein apke sath galat kar rahi hoon chize and you don't deserve this, mera behavior, mera kisi or chiz ka gussa na aap pe nikal raha hein joh ki bilkul bhi thik nahi hein apke sath, mein apke sath bahut ganda pesh aa rahi hoon and that's not fair at all and am sorry too", she admitted honestly.
"Gussa apno pe hi nikalta hein na and we can never forget the fact that we're family", he softly said and she just kept looking down.
"Acha meri ek baat Suno", he said pushing his hand under her chin to make her look at him.
"Sorry", he muttered pushing his hand away and started talking again to remove the awkwardness.
"See, mein nahi janta ki kya qismat hein, kya karam hein hum logo ke, ki Yeh sab hua humare sath lekin mein bas apse itna chahta hoon ki qismat ke iss khel ki saza apne aap ko mujhe yaa Aaru ko na dein", he started with sincerity.
"Saza toh milni lazmi hein", she said bitterly and he inwardly hissed, the self hate in her tone made him feel helpless.
"Lekin hum apni taraf se better kar sakte hein chize", he suggested.
"How", she asked her voice quivering as she now looked at him and he felt his heart soar for her as she finally looked at him with vulnerability displayed on her face,she was finally letting her guard down like previous times.
"Ek rasta hein", he said thoughtfully.
"Kya", came her eager voice.
"Aap manengi meri baat", he asked softly and she eagerly nodded.
"Maine Pehle Bhi bola hein or phir se keh raha hoon uss din ke liye am very sorry mera intention bilkul bhi nahi tha to make it all look the way it came out", he said closing his eyes and clenching his fists at his sides, which Sana very sharply noticed.
"Mein janti hoon, Maine overreact kiya chizo ko leke apki taraf se socha hi nahi meri galati hein am sorry", she said faintly.
"So mathametically sorry se sorry cancel aab age badhe", he asked after a while and she nodded.
"Zindagi apni hoti hein or isme ane vala haar insan mehman, everything is temporary, apni life tab tak nahi rukti jab tak apni khud ki sanse nahi rukti, we might not remain the same through out but we have to live, we have to survive because ours is still left and we have to do justice with it", he spoke.
"I know", she sighed.
"Aap kya kehna chah rahe ho sidha batao", she urges.
"What am trying to say is, look at the life hopefully I ain't saying ki aap meri biwi ban jao ek din mein naa hi mein bhai ka k.. Oi-", he started but then stopped as his throat clogged up at the mention of his brother.
At that moment Sana felt her heart clench as she saw him fighting back his emotions. In all her Miseries she forgot that he has left a piece of his heart too, his soul brother has gone away too, he must have felt the hollowness too, he must be in pain too.
"I know", she said placing her hand at his comfortingly and he nodded at her giving her a reassuring tight lipped smile before continuing.
"I want you to know ki mein bhai ka place lene ki koshish kya soch bhi nahi sakta, lekin joh understanding itne salon se humne develop ki hein i want us to keep moving with that", he said and she nodded in understanding.
"Chize ek dum se thik nahi hongi lekin unhe long term mein thik karne ke liye bhi humein efforts karne padenge, Aaru hum dono ki zimmedari hein and his better future is our priority aur aap mano chahe na mano lekin aap bhi meri responsibility ho, uss din gaon mein joh sab bola gaya voh trailer tha vaisa sab agey bhi ho sakta hein lekin mein chahta hoon ki aap mujhe apne liye khade hone ka haq dein", he said hopefully and she nodded making him sigh in relief.
"So Sana, will you remain my best friend like before and always ", he said extending his hand forward for her to shake and she looked at him amused.
He made the God damn thing seem so easy.
"Ofcourse I'll always be there to annoy you, forever", she replies back cheekily as she shook his hand.
They both has an smile at their faces as they gazed at each other, it wasn't a full blown or an heart filled smile, just a hopeful, subtle smile. A assuring ones to each other that they'll get through this and they are in this together.
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