William Hayes
"Will, sweetie.." my mom soothes my back as I sit on the couch with my hands in a joined fist in my lips. It's been two weeks since I last saw my fucking girlfriend, only because no one knows where she actually is. "They'll find her.." she adds and a tear rolls down my cheek.
"You said that last time.." my voice breaks. "Do they have a new lead?"
She pushes her lips together and shakes her head. "They're doing all they can,"
"They're not doing it very well," I shake my head. "Our anniversary is coming up and I can't even see her at this stage,"
"I'm sorry Will, I'm sure they're doing all they can,"
I let a tear slip from my eye again, and I've never felt more down about something. All I have as a memory is that we went to the club for a party and she was getting me very turned on from the way she was dancing. She looked so hot in the dress she was wearing, her hair was long and flowing freely and her body looked so good with it on. Then she was with Ally and I was talking to a nice guy, I don't remember his name but he seemed nice and definitely not local.
Everything about her was perfect and we were good for each other. I treated her nicely and she treated me the same, we always told each other everything and were big on consent about everything. She was the light in my black and white life, the colour to my life.
And now she's missing..so is a part of me. She could've been kidnapped and killed or worse things that I hate mentioning. I've been checking on her brothers who are out looking for her, her mom is having a hard time coping with this too.
We all have, Ally feels very guilty because she told me that she was at the bar getting a drink for one minute and her Ally went to the guy she was dancing with and looked back, she was gone, and Ally thought she had just gone home, or to the bathroom but when I left, I thought I'd find her at home but I didn't, Ally went home with some random guy and I fell asleep on the edge of the bed and when I woke up I doesn't the whole day calling her and everything and it wasn't until 48 hours later, she was reported as a missing person.
"I miss her, mom," I whisper, my mom looking at me. "I don't know how to cope without her," my voice breaks again. "Why hasn't she been found yet?"
"I don't know baby," she pouts. "Come here," she opens her arms and I fall into them on a hug which I so needed right now. "She'll be fine, she's strong, I know her,"
I nod, even if I don't really believe it. I know she's strong but if she was taken or worse, assaulted then she'd be terrified in a time like this, she'd break down and find herself in a worse place then she already is. And if she's dead...I don't know what I'd do.
"Will," I hear my dad which makes me pull away. "I just heard from her mom, and they're thinking she was kidnapped, and killed,"
I stare long and hard and my mom drops her head. "S—Shes not dead," I shake my head. "I know she's out there somewhere and no one else is going to find her, I will,"
"Son, the police told her this," he shakes his head. "Police don't lie,"
"Well police give up, and they don't give a fuck about London and I do," I refuse to believe she's been written off as dead.
He sighs. "Sarah..can I talk to you?" he says to my mom which she nods and stands up.
I sniff and wipe my eyes, looking at my phone. I open the messages between us and see that the last we messaged was the day she went missing.
London: i love you too xx
I smile at the words and another tear slips from my eye. I then go into out saved chats and see pictures of us. It was our first date, the two of us at the beach and I took a photo of us together, her eyes were closed and she had a glowing smile.
I scroll left and see a picture of her with her cat, her cat looking grumpy as hell but she made the whole photo glow with that smile of hers. I save the photo and set it as my background, getting rid of the normal background I usually have.
I close my eyes so tears spill, and I close my phone. I hear my parents talking and the more I listen, the more they're on call with someone. I wonder if she's okay, she probably needs someone with her right now, she probably wants a hug, she probably just wants to feel safe wherever she is.
"Will..." my mom says slowly, sitting next to me, my sister padding downstairs in worry as well as my dad sitting on the table in front of me. Emma, my sister, sits in the small gap next to me and hugs me, pulling me into her and all their surroundings make me get emotional again.
"They're planning a funeral..." my dad says softly and Emma holds me tighter against her. My heart breaks and I stare silently through my tears. "Okay...and they need your help to get it prepared, you'd know what she'd want,"
I stare at him, a tear sliding down my cheek. "She'd want us to keep fucking looking for her, why are you all just writing her off as dead?" I cry. "She's not dead!" I drop my head and cry.
My mom rubs my back and Emma rubs my arm but I only want London. If it was the other way around, I know she'd go to the ends of the earth to make sure I'm okay so that's what I'll be doing with her. "I'm not helping them plan a fucking funeral for a empty casket, okay? It's pointless,"
"This isn't up to us, her mom has decided," he says.
"Will honey.." my mom tries to soothe.
"Will, this is what London would have wanted, and as her boyfriend you should support her choices,"
My lip quivers as they say it in a row and all of this was to much for me. My heart hurt and it was heavy, my eyes stung and my head pounded. I haven't been able to sleep in forever because my mind is running in circles as to when I may have seen her last.
I stand up out of their grips and walk away, running upstairs and closing my door. I slide down my door and spread my propped knees, my head pounding. She's not dead, and I wanna be the one to prove it. I am gonna be the one to prove it.
I cry, call me a fucking wimp and loser, I don't care. I drop my head and everything I've been holding in just comes out to the point where I go to my bed and bury my face into it, white gripping the bed sheets that still smell like her perfume.
I muffle a scream into the pillow, before I start crying, full on. I miss her so much and I'm so unstable without her. I can't even tell her how much I miss her. It's like her phone has been turned off because I can't even call her at all, her mom can't, neither of her brothers, my sisters, my mom, dad, no one — and it seems to be effecting everyone but I've had it the hardest in my family. But I'm gonna find her and bring her home.
//
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