*three years earlier*
Harry's POV
I want to get closer to Athena.
That's all I've been thinking about lately.
We've only known each other for a month, but we are now good friends our everyday studying together in the library after school. I still have no idea what she thinks about me, though.
But I want more than that. More than just friends.
I hate that Athena and I are not in the same class, except for math, since it always kills me when she smiles at or talks to other boys while I'm not there with her.
"What's our lesson for today, Ms. Scott?" I say, looking at her beautiful face. I can stare at it all the time.
"Math," she responds happily. "Math is my favorite."
"Math is my favorite, too."
"Oh is it? That's great."
Math is my favorite because my math class is with you, Miss. I love the class, not the subject.
"So let's get started. Do you know what differential is?"
I tilt my head. "No."
She opens the textbook and shows it to me. "The derivative of a function can often be used to approximate certain function values with a surprising degree of accuracy."
"Okay," I say, still understanding nothing.
She looks me in the eyes. "Harry, you didn't get anything, right?"
You're right, ma'am.
"How did you know?" I ask, acting surprised.
"Your face tells everything." She smirks with those beautiful eyes and when a laugh comes out from her mouth, our time stops. My eyes are locked on her.
Stop looking at me that way, please.
I'm falling.
I'm falling.
I'm falling.
I'm falling.
I'm falling.
I think I'm losing myself.
I'm getting lost.
And will be found by this angel.
I think I'm falling for you, Athena.
I know we just met a month ago but I think I'm already into you.
No, Harry. Now is studying time, focus on your studies.
I push my thoughts and look back at the book.
"If Δx is small, then Δy ≈ f′(x0)Δx. For example, to approximate f(17) for f(x) = Square root of√x, first note that its derivative f′(x) is equal to (x−1/2)/2." She starts to speak.
Oh, well, okay.
"Sorry Harry, I know this is so difficult but I'll try my best to explain so please try to understand it."
Of course, ma'am. I'll listen to you.
She explains a lot in her beautiful voice. Her explanation is very clear as usual even when the contents are exceedingly difficult. I didn't understand anything earlier, but thanks to her, now I know much more.
You're great, Athena.
"Does it make sense?" she asks, nervously.
There's no way you have to be nervous.
"Yeah, I understand a lot now," I say instead.
She smiles with relief. "You're a good student."
Wha-
Did she just say I'm a good student?
I've never been praised this way before. She complimented me.
She suddenly puts her hands on my cheeks. "You're blushing."
What, am I?
Well...
It's obvious that because of what you said, angel.
I push those thoughts away, trying not to think about them again.
"No," I quickly deny instead.
She is looking at me now with a teasing face. I literally have no idea what she's thinking, but I still know my heartbeat is racing like hell that it's about to rip out.
"You're so cute," she says. "Your face is still red."
I look down to avoid facing her, otherwise, I'll get more nervous, and my face will turn much redder. "Don't say I'm cute. I'm a boy, and I'm three years older than you."
"Okay, sorry." She laughs.
I make a sulky face, but I can't say anything, because all she says is right, and I know it. I turn to her again and notice that she's staring at me.
That gaze.
"Is there... anything?" I nervously ask.
She seems to come to her senses. "No, nothing... I just-" she stutters. "Didn't you say you were three years older than me?"
I nod.
"So you're eighteen?"
I nod again. "Three years age gap isn't any big thing, is it?"
"I don't care much about age gaps," she starts in a relaxing tone. "Just thought you were a bit different from others from the first time I met you. I mean, you look a little more mature than the other, and... I don't know, attractive?"
Um,
did she say the word 'attractive' to me?
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
The brain stops thinking for a while.
Then the brain starts working again.
I go back to my study and try to solve one of the differential mathematics problems. That's what we do here. We're here to study, not grow love.
Oh dear, this looks so difficult. I'm completely lost about this math thing. I'm just jealous of Athena as I find her slogging through it. We're trying to solve the same question, but how can she solve it instantly? She is a genius, after all.
And such a pretty girl is still very popular because there is another voice calling her. "Hey, Athena!"
It's Brad.
"Hi, Brad. What are you doing here?" She greets him.
I wonder if they had become friends without my knowledge. They seem to be closer than the last time I saw them talking.
"I knew that you two were studying here, so I came to join you," he says.
"Of course, you can join us. Come here and sit next to me." She is totally on board and pulls out a chair for him to sit in.
Wait, what?
NO.
No, Athena. I don't want him in.
I want to study just the two of us.
But I don't tell her. I just stay silent, disappointed.
"We're studying math," Athena speaks to Brad, smiling.
She. looks. happy.
"Great, I'm really good at it," he tells her.
Not me being mad as he winked at her after saying his words.
・ ・ ・
We've started to study together.
But I'm not actually focusing on it, because all I see is Brad and Athena looking so happy talking with each other, about something I don't even know.
Leave, Brad.
Please leave here.
Because I want to be just the two of me and Athena so fucking much to get closer to her. I want her to explain the studies just for me. I want her to show her smile just for me. I want to own her.
What are you saying, Harry Styles?
Are you into her? —Yes, I am.
Are you crazy about her? —Yes, I am.
Do you think she feels the same? —Absolutely no.
Maybe she is not even remotely curious about me but just wants to be my teacher and help me to get my grade higher.
What if she was really only being with me for those studies?
It hurts.
A lot.
I'm still watching them laughing and talking together. She seems to really enjoy being with him, furthermore, she looks so relaxed and enchanted.
"Did you finish doing your work, Harry?" Her face turns to me suddenly. I'm astonished by this moment.
Wait, I haven't finished anything yet...
My mind has been occupied with those other things earlier on, and studying was not even in the corner of it. I need to stop doing it as long as it influences the level of my concentration, still, I do not like to take my eyes off Brad and Athena while there seems something to happen.
"Harry? Is everything okay?"
All I do is close my notebook straight away so as not to let her see nothing is written in it.
"I... I think I gotta go. My mom probably needs me."
I quickly leave the place. I don't even say goodbye to either of them.