Athena's POV
I couldn't sleep last night, and I know why. I guess he knows why, too. But in case he doesn't, I also know why. He was too busy with her girlfriend last night having loud sex to care about other things, and he is probably still not over the night that thinking about it right now at a bar like I am right now with a glass of alcohol drink in his hand. I just hope he isn't here as I am, though. Don't want to meet up even here. Especially on the very next day from the day I heard him being loud.
It does make me hurt that he has moved on pretty quickly, while I'm still struggling with my mind. In this way, I guess I am the type of person who holds onto the past. When I see that he doesn't seem to care anymore, I start to get frustrated, knowing that I have to move on, but if I stay in this state of mind, things will probably just not work out again.
Back to the topic of Harry's new girlfriend, she was so beautiful. I never got to meet someone like her who fits the word perfect so perfectly. Including me, all girls would aspire to have her appearance. I'm sure I won't ever be able to forget about a girl who got everything perfect. In that perfection, no wonder Harry likes it.
I can't get them off my mind.
"Are you alright? You usually drink happily." I have Megan, who has been my best friend since high school, imbibing alcohol with me. She knows me being so stressed.
"I don't think I can handle this. Sharing the room with Harry. I guess we'll always fight. Just like enemies." It makes me feel so down when I think of him, even if he isn't here. But I couldn't help myself complaining about him.
My head is already full of it and nothing else comes in. Harry and I had already ended our relationship so I thought I would never see him again, but he came back to me. I've only seen this kind of development in romance novels, but what is different from those romance novels is that I don't see any good development at all. I just feel like everything is going to go bad.
"Harry is your new roommate, right?" Megan speaks out.
"Yes," I answer, looking down.
I forget how to forget someone in my head. Moreover, he is the one I don't like.
"You really do hate him, huh?" Megan sighs, exasperated. I don't think it is unreasonable for her to be appalled, but we both have never been in this situation before, which is why I hope she takes me more seriously and sympathizes with me. It is completely not her business, though.
"I don't know..." I finally make my head up and look at her confused. At the same time, I have the feeling that I am most in need of a real answer to her question.
Contemplating how much better it would be if people could erase their past, I'm shaking my head. There is no way for me to do it. I've tried to do it for an entire year, but I never succeeded. That's how human emotions are complicated, and I again recognize we have to reflect on our feelings regularly.
Megan takes her glass of spirit and drinks it up roughly. "It's already been a year, right?"
"Since what?" I know what she is talking about, but I just don't want to admit it that soon. I may not even be able to have a proper conversation anymore.
"Harry and your breakup."
I nod. "Um, yeah."
Megan sighs. "Can't you guys be normal friends?"
This time I sigh, trying to find a word to say. I drink the last glass of wine vigorously, quickly order another one, and finally speak again, "I wouldn't be struggling with this thing if we could be friends easily. It's always very awkward when I'm in my room with him. And..." but am cut off by Megan. But she still looks tiresome.
"Mhm, yeah. Just awkward? You don't even try to talk to him and be normal friends just because it's awkward?" Her exasperated tone becomes stronger.
"No, I didn't mean that," I deny. "And Megan, I hadn't finished yet and you just cut me off."
She finally turns her face to me now. "Oh sorry, babe. What did you wanna say?"
I can feel my sadness coming down through my eyes. It is easy to get high when alcohol is involved, but it is also easy to feel depressed. "He has a girlfriend now."
Megan blinks twice, then gets frozen for a while as I say what I said two seconds ago. This pause, until she speaks out, evokes a lot of emotions in me. "He has already moved on," she breathes out.
"A year has passed, so it wasn't a surprising thing for me." I smile weakly just like a fake smile.
But then she narrows her eyes. "Wait, he told you about his girlfriend?"
I shake my head.
Her brow wrinkles. "That's just you being paranoid, isn't it?" her calm voice speaks plainly. "What made you think that way? Maybe you should cool down a little."
Her words bring me back to myself. I suppose that's right, not everything we see is true. I should be using my brain more, but what I saw last night is just stuck in my head, seems like it never let go of me. "I accidentally saw him having sex with a girl."
She sighs, again. "I see. Are you upset?"
It is not good for our health to deny what our mind says, even if we don't want to admit it. Yet, I'm not anywhere near ready.
"No," I answer instead. "But it's just so... awkward? The stiff and awkward one, you know."
Hearing Megan sigh again, I feel kind of bad for her having to listen to me talk about my upsetting reunion with this unimportant ex-boyfriend of mine. I wanted something from her earlier, but now, I don't give a shit about needing to be listened to or advice anymore.
"Yeah." She nods not with the icy expression she showed me earlier, but with a soft expression. "I understand you, girl."
I finish drinking another glass of my wine, exhaling as if her sigh shifts. Why is this guy stuck in my head even if I'm away from him? I thought I was already all over him. Whatever, all I'm going to do right now is drink until my head gets empty. I need to make him get out of my mind.
・ ・ ・
Being here for some time, my mind gets fuzzy. My thinking stops, to begin with, but I really can't think about anything anymore. Only the hand holding the drink is moving. And the amount of alcohol I drink keeps increasing.
I also feel dizzy. All I know is that Megan is near me.
"You drank too much!" I hear her say.
I can barely respond, which is also a surprising thing to me. "Mhm..."
Alcohol is a horrible thing. It can lift people's spirits and make us feel good at parties, but if we drink it when we are depressed, we will feel even more depressed. And then they drink too much and can't move. I am in that state now. I suspect that I am one step away from being a cripple.
"Athena? Athena!" Megan keeps calling me, and I hear it, but I'm not capable of talking properly. Or even sit, because I'm now falling to the floor. My eyes are closed. I feel sick.
Megan runs to me and holds my body. "Athena!" My name in her voice rings my ear. I nod to tell her I'm still conscious.
My eyes are still not open, but I can tell by the sound of footsteps that someone is running toward me. I wonder if a stranger came because they cared. If so, I am sorry.
The second I hear another familiar voice, I can't help but open my eyes.
It is not a stranger.
"Athena? Reply to me!" Now the person is the one who is holding my body, rubbing my back. The roommate I was complaining about all the time, which made me consume too much alcohol and now I'm like this. Silly thing.
His green eyes enter my vision. They look beautiful like an emerald. "Har... ry..."
I say something. All I know is I'm saying something. But have no idea what I'm saying. Harry doesn't get it either, of course.
Megan titles her head. "Why are you here, Harry Styles?"
I have no clue if she's asking it because he is whom I least want to meet or she is just curious why he is here. Either way, I don't think it's the right time to ask questions.
"I was... drinking," he replies.
Perhaps he was drinking as I was: to forget his complicated feelings when he found out that I, his ex-girlfriend, was his roommate.
I'm closing my eyes again because it does make me feel better, at least in an emotional way. Harry and Megan are speaking, but I don't listen to any of it. I simply fall into Harry's arms as the energy in my body is already empty. His firm, strong arms, but also warm, supportive, and somehow calming.
The last words I hear in this dubious consciousness of mine are uttered by Megan. "Keep her safe, Harry Styles."
Then she just walks away. She is leaving me and Harry alone.
I don't hear Harry saying a word, but I do know he is removing his arm from me. What he is going to do is the most needed thing for me right now.
Now I am on his back and being carried around. I slowly extend my arms and wrap them around his muscular body. Him carrying me home, calling it the most comfortable cab.