summary: after the incident with remus and janus, logan forgives them but can't figure out why he still feels terrible about it. his new friends, virgil and patton, help him out with that.
word count: 1067
okay so part 2 to "didn't mean it" bc i didn't like the way i ended it, so i wrote this fkhdksfj i want virgil and patton from this one in my life djhfskfj also, today's prom, and idk how it's gonna go, i'm nervous T-T
tw/cw// sad logan, unsympathetic remus and janus, slight crying, mention of friendship breakup
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Logan loved his friends; he did. The incident from a few months ago when his only friends expressed their grievances with Logan to get back at each other was way behind him. If someone asked, he would claim he definitely didn't spend many sleepless nights thinking about their words and many school days analyzing his behavior, reevaluating how he responded to others' behavior.
He would claim he barely even thought about it, hoping to convince himself as well.
Distracting him from his insecure thoughts were two boys in his math class, Patton Baker and Virgil Black. Since middle school, the two had been friends, so Logan often felt like he was intruding, no matter how much they assured him they enjoyed his company.
Patton and Virgil acted like they had no idea what to do in school, but, from what he'd seen, they were incredibly intelligent, rivaling even Logan's intelligence. The only difference was that they had more developed social skills and interests/hobbies that weren't entirely academic.
After being friends with the boys for a few months and becoming friends with them shortly after the incident, he felt confident that they were his best friends, in addition to Janus and Remus. He hung out with Virgil and Patton outside of school more than Janus and Remus, though, and had even begun eating lunch with them every other day.
As much as he hated emotions and talking about them, he had confided in Virgil and Patton about many emotionally-conflicting situations, something he'd never done with Janus and Remus before. Even if the issues were practically laughable, the boys would treat them with as much seriousness and concern as Logan.
So, Logan decided it would be beneficial to ask for their opinion on a personal problem, something that's been on his mind for months now.
"You good, Lo?" Virgil asked with a quirked brow.
As he barely noticed the scowling expression on his face and let it fall, Logan blinked in surprise. "Oh. Um, I'm alright. I have a...dilemma that I need some help with." Virgil and Patton nodded, calmly waiting for Logan to explain.
"A few months ago, at the beginning of the school year, Janus and Remus got into an argument. They said some unsavory things about me, expressing their grievances, and it made me feel bad. They apologized later that day, and I accepted, of course. I thought everything would get better from there, but it didn't. All I've been able to think about for the past few months is how bad they made me feel. It's incredibly frustrating that I can't talk to them without thinking about it, and I'm unsure what I can do."
"What did they say exactly?" Patton asked curiously.
Logan thought to himself, his best friends' words echoing in his head.
'Remus frequently talks about you behind your back and complains about almost everything you do.'
'Janus hates it when you butt into conversations and try to act like you're better than us.'
'I'm not the one constantly going around you to make plans with the intention of excluding you.'
'You are the one who says, 'don't tell Logan' every time you want to talk about something, Janus.'
"They said stuff about being annoyed by me and keeping stuff from me intentionally."
The two teens shared a concerned look before looking back at Logan. "They said they're annoyed by you specifically?" Virgil asked softly.
Logan sighed, "They said that they complain about the things I do and that I try to act like I'm better than them." He clarified.
Noticing their silence, Logan quickly backtracked. "Not to say that they were trying to be malicious. They were trying to get back at each other, and they used me as a pawn. It was incredibly upsetting, but I'm over it, truly."
Virgil frowned and scooted his chair closer to Logan's. "It's okay not to be okay, Lo. That sounds like a super shitty situation, and you shouldn't have accepted their apologies that easily."
"You never try to act better than others; if anything, you like being able to share what you know with someone because that's who you are. We see how your eyes light up any time we ask you a question. You're incredibly kind, and it's crazy how smart you are." Patton added with a soft smile.
"Maybe," Virgil paused as he thought over his words. "Maybe you're still feeling bad because you never got over it. What they said probably hurt you so badly, it cut you deep, and that's a wound that needs healing. But since you're you, you never let it fully heal; you just moved on because you didn't see the point in dealing with it anymore. You need to deal with it and let yourself heal before moving on."
"How do I do that exactly?"
Patton hummed thoughtfully, "Well, that depends on you. Think of anything that will help you think about it in its entirety, how it made you feel, how it wasn't okay, and how you deserve better. Something that'll help you visualize the full picture and move on."
Logan blinked away the tears before Virgil and Patton could see them before nodding.
~~~~
Logan laughed as Patton and Virgil joked with each other. He spotted Remus and Janus across the cafeteria laughing with each other as well. Once they stopped laughing, they seemed to notice Logan staring. They stared back with sad smiles and small waves, which the nerd returned.
His smile faltered a bit as he fidgeted with his stim bracelet, the ghost of a pang going through his heart. It hurt a little bit to see his former best friends having more fun together than they ever did with him, even though it's been months.
Janus and Remus were his childhood best friends, ages 7 to 17. He wouldn't trade it for the world, and at one point, he did wish he could keep the friendship forever. However, he knew it was time to grow apart. Their friendship didn't work for any of the parties anymore, and he knew it was for the best, despite the slight pain he'd always feel.
As he looked at his current best friends, he felt content with his choices. They weren't easy, but they were necessary for his mental health. Patton and Virgil helped him realize that, and he'll be forever grateful for that.
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fksdjlf so this happened :)) i've really been feeling like writing logan lately (when am i not tho XD) and that's just bc i love him so much, he's relatable for a reason skdjfk anywho, hope you all enjoyed, love you all, stay safe, buh bye!!
4/2/22