May sixteenth
"sigh Matt..of course, it's me-i don't..i don't know how long i can take this anymore..it's so painful. i honestly can't believe it's been four months...i miss you both so dearly and i don't know if this treatment will ever be up but i hope so..i hate being away from you both. i hate that things turned the way they did, i always wonder about you and Alex, i don't know what id do without you both. i sometimes lay here and ask myself what would have happened if things had been different. would it have still happened..? sighs, i have to go but please again, tell our baby girl i love her..see you soon."