march 1983
"and i want my own like little zoo. ya know, because i love animals!" michael dreamily said as we looked out over the ocean from the rocks near my house that looked over the ocean. i smiled at him "you already have a little zoo now at hayvenhurst" i giggled at him.
"yeah i know," he smiled brightly "i want it to be bigger this time though. i'll have more room for it, meaning more animals"
"god you're not thinking about getting more of those awful snakes are you?!" i asked him quickly making him cackle loudly "why? i was thinking about it yeah." he nodded
"god sake michael!" i sighed out loud
"why?!" he laughed even more at me. "you know i hate those ugly things!" i told him laughing, but i was oh so serious.
"they're not ugly" he laughed nudging me, trying to fake being offended. "michael, they're ugly." i tell him seriously.
"mr muscles is not ugly!" he declared shaking his head "he's so amazing, he's intelligent."
"so intelligent equates to beauty now, does it??" i laughed raising a brow at him. he looked in my eyes and a small smile tugged at his lips "you're intelligent aren't you?" he asked me softly.
"umm.. i'd like to think so?" i told him "you are intelligent." he nodded at me, he glanced back out to the ocean "intelligence is attractive. i love a girl who has intelligence, whit too!" he said truthfully as he looked back at me
"i find you breathtaking" michael breathed out shakily looking into my eyes "i've held this in for so long, so long that i just can't hold onto it anymore... i really like you. like really, really like you. i have done for a while, a while being years." he told me quickly. my heart was beating so fast. i was so confused. so scared. i was happy?? nervous. i felt every sort of emotion.
"i think you're so beautiful, intelligent, sarcastic, whitty.. funny... i could go on all day. but those are just some of the things i l-love about you." he told me seriously, stuttering through his meaningful words.
"i know you don't feel the same. i just wanted you to know, you deserved to know. mother thought i should tell you before it too late and you-"
he was talking too much. i leant in and kissed his lips softly. he didn't kiss back at first, but seconds later his lips pressed against mine. he shuffled a little closer and reached up so he could caress my cheek softly with his hand.
i pulled away slowly and smiled "i feel the same." i whisper to him, but loud enough so he can hear me over the crashing noises of the ocean against the rocks. "you do??!" he exclaimed with a grin
"of course?!" i laughed widening my eyes and leaning back "didn't i just show you that??" i asked him
he grinned and bit his lip "i think i forgot.. can you show me again?"
i laughed softly "you goofball" i whispered and leant in to kiss him. he kissed me back with such passion that never felt before.
"veah... be my girl. i don't want to wait any longer. i know we can have something so special, why wait? when we both clearly feel the same."
"of course michael, i'll always be your girl." i smiled shyly at him as butterflies erupted in my stomach. his eyes glistened as the sun and the ocean reflected on his brown orbes.
"hey.. you're coming to the motown 25th anniversary aren't you?? watch us all perform." he looked me in the eyes. i tapped his leg "of course i am. wouldn't miss seeing my favourite boys in the whole wide world perform.. defiantly not going to miss your debut performance of billie jean either. can't let that happen." i told him making him giggle loudly "i'm glad... i'm excited. i've been rehearsing so much." he shook his head softly as he looked back out to the ocean "i know. i've seen you coming out of the dance studio quite a lot looking all sweaty and warn out"
"it's going to be so amazing. no ones ever going to forget this performance. i just know it!" he says so happily making my heart warm "you're special michael, you always have been special and you always will be. your name will never be forgotten." i tell him softly, passionately.
"you think??" he asked me weakly. i smiled softly at him as i stroke his leg "of course i think so, i'd be a pretty shit girlfriend-" i tried finishing my sentence but he slapped his hand over my mouth with his eyes wide as he giggled "don't say that word out loud."
"makabamahi kajs aaka sg" i mumble under his hand "what?? i can't hear you." he giggled mischievously making me scoff. such a michael thing to do and say. i slapped his hand away from my mouth playfully and said "if you didn't have your big ass hand over my mouth you'd of heard me, smart arse." i fired back. he laughed out loud shaking his head. "you and your language, you're going to hell." he told me as he laughed "i'm already there baby" i winked at him
he laughed at me shaking his head "what am i gonna do with you? huh?" he joked. i playfully said "oh i don't know, love me, feed me... never leave me." i look out to the ocean.
"i can do all those things. especially love you and never leave you." he told me. i could feel his eyes on my face. i smiled and looked back at him. he immediately smiles and his eyes light up.
"what if i say randy is a better singer than you??" i said cheekily.
"i may have to rethink what i just said then." he joked back making me laugh out loud then slap my hand over my mouth. his initial reaction was to cackle at me
"how's rehearsals going for the movie??" he asked me "you and ralph getting on okay??" he wondered. i smiled and nodded "yeah he's amazing, i feel like i've known him forever ya know?? i haven't met any of the other cast members yet though, i'll probably just end up meeting them on set. ralph has met them though, he has more scenes with them than i do." i told him and he listened carefully.
"i've never really had friends... obviously i've always had you and the boys, as well as janet. but i've never had friends outside the jackson circle. i've always been pretty lonely...." i squeak out, i know he feels the same. i know he feels lonely too.
"ralph kind of cleanses that part of my life for me. when i'm with you.. when i'm with the rest of your family i feel on top of the world. but i always still feel lonely, there's always been something missing... when i met ralph, i realised he was what was missing." i told michael, i looked at him to see him looking down at his hands "you shouldn't feel that way... you always have us" he told me
"that's the thing. i know that. i've always felt like i could never make friends outside the jackson family in case they just use me to get to you, to get to the rest of your family." i tell him honestly as i watch his face drop with guilt, sorrow and sadness "when i met ralph, he never bombarded me with questions about you, about your family, he knows the basics and doesn't ask for anything else. he's a fan. but he's my friend, i know he isn't trying to use me because of you or your family. he's my co-star so we met through that, i know his intentions are completely all about wanting to make the best movie with me and create the best possible friendship." i tell michael honestly.
"i'm sorry if me and my family ever made you feel trapped." he said softly, with sadness.
"no," i shook my head panicking "no no no no!!" i said quickly "none of you are to blame. it's me. i don't trust anyone. i wanted a friend who wasn't in the business. who wasn't famous. but i knew i couldn't trust them as far as i could throw them. i am my own problem. i'm the reason i have no friends except from your family. i'm not complaining, i love you all so fucking much." i said passionately.
he sighed because i swore, i giggled making him laugh "i'm sorry michael, you know i can't help it." i told him honestly "you'll have to get used to it." i kissed his cheek "and anyway," i laughed slightly "i've heard you say a fair few swear words in the past"
"only when i'm angry" he points a finger at me "ok," i shrug "i only do it when i'm passionate and angry." i lie.
he laughs shaking his head "you're such a liar. every sentence you ever say has some form of swear word. i'm used to it, i have been for years. doesn't mean i like it." he said softly "awww mikey boo!" i pinch his cheeks "give over" he slapped my hand away from his cheek as he laughed, slightly turning a shade of red from blushing.
"the colour red suits you michael" i told him, mischievously. like i guessed, he looked straight down at his shirt "you think?? it's my favourite colour.. it's yours too isn't it?? i didn't think i looked particularly good in it though." he told me honestly stroking his shirt
"i'm not on about your shirt michael. i'm on about your red rosy cheeks." i smirked at him. he let out a puff of air in embarrassment and blushed even harder.
"oh boy, i feel so embarrassed." he said softly as he looked away nervously making me giggle. "so adorable" i smile shaking my head at my boyfriend.