Some things in life can't be fixed, they can only be carried
-Megan Devine
*******
"APPA, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Kyunghee screamed at the top of her lungs but Mr. Do stood still in his spot.
"Appa, come back here. Please," Kyunghee begged, standing at one corner of the hospital's terrace.
"Don't come near me. I will jump if you come any close," Mr. Do admonished, panting and sweating profusely. He wasn't even sure what he was doing but all the day's events turned out to be a hot knife plunging into his heart.
He was a pathetic father and remorse rose against his veins, hitting every emotion in his soul, harder than ever before. He knew he was wrong but it was etching him to face the truth. It was etching him ever since he was confronted.
He put barricades in many aspects of his daughter's life but didn't know they would be the reason to ruin her life, his humanity, and their bond. Tears welled up his eyes like the dam brimmed with water, remembering the time he held his daughter for the first time in his hands.
The tender hands that made him cry for the whole day and the protectiveness that made him promise to stay all that day, cradling her to sleep. Her existence painted dreams in his life, motivated him to work harder so that he could make their tiny world happier than ever.
Everything was gone to rack and ruins as time passed by and he regrets everything now. He regrets treating her like a stranger when there was still a part of him that yearned to adore and caress his little daughter tenderly.
But nothing could be done now. Time could neither be reversed nor could the past be changed. Even repenting actions had a price and he could no longer afford it. He went beyond his limit and was the reason for his grandchild's death, knowingly or unknowingly.
Even taking a breath felt suffocating. He wasn't able to convince himself and reason his actions. Whatever he concludes, it would still be vain since he can't bring back his grandchild to life. From the despair and agony in Jungkook's eyes and the cries of his daughter while in the car, he knew how dear the child must have been to them, how excited they were till this day for their child to enter the world, how they were so ready to begin a new chapter in their life until he burnt all their hopes into ashes.
"Appa, please," Kyunghee pleaded and Taehyung appeared on the terrace. Mr. Do raised his hand and shook his head, warning them not to get near him. Analyzing the situation, Taehyung understood what was happening and started scurrying steps towards the elderly.
"DON'T," Mr. Do yelled and took a step behind, almost nearing the corner. Taehyung quickly stopped, afraid if the elderly being would make a wrong decision in haste.
"Where the hell was the security?" Kyunghee cried, finding no one at the place.
"I hurt everyone around me, didn't I? Why do you want me to live?" Mr. Do asked, covering his face with his palms, ashamed and guilty of what he had done to his daughter who strived all her life, fighting for his fatherly love and caress.
"Appa, we can talk this out. Eonnie will forgive you. Please don't do anything stupid," Kyunghee bellowed, her heart thumping loud in anxiety. She was getting terrified each second, anticipating the worst.
"Forgive me for what? Killing her child? Abandoning her when needed? Forcing her to marry someone she never loved? Disowning for this shit of reputation?" Mr. Do barked, taking a step further behind and Kyunghee screamed, holding her heart.
"Uncle, please no. That's not the right way. Think about Aunt, think about Kyunghee. They can't live without you. Do you think Hana would be happy if you take away your life? That's not what she wants, Uncle. Please step down. This is not a solution," Taehyung requested, trying to take steps ahead.
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME NEAR ME," Mr. Do let out a loud shriek and Taehyung had no option but to take a halt.
"It's not a solution, it's a punishment," Mr. Do retaliated and took two deep breaths, looking at the ground below the great height. The temptation to take away his own life seemed so appealing to him at the moment and not a single reason to keep up was able to convince him.
"Sir, please get down. You can't stand there," two security guards shouted as they appeared at the terrace and Kyunghee glared at them for being absent when the time they were needed the most. Had they been present and did their job properly, her father wouldn't be standing at the end of the terrace.
"Appa, please. Eonnie wouldn't want this, please don't leave us, Please," Kyunghee cried out loud but Mr. Do gave a deaf ear to his wailing daughter. Closing his eyes, he remembered all the memories of his daughters and their family, how he was blinded by his hunger for success and hurt his dear daughter, and a teardrop stream down his face.
I have committed enough sin in this life
I can't do this anymore
"APPA"
#####
"Hana, you woke up?" a familiar voice greeted Hana as she shuttered her eyes open.
"Yoongi?" Hana asked as Yoongi managed to curve up a smile. She then turned to see Hoseok with his lips pressed into a thin line. She moved a bit and a slight sting coursed through her lower abdomen. Yoongi quickly helped her to sit up on the hospital bed
She then realized where she was. The white bathed walls and the familiar smell of medicine and tonic gushed through her nose. Memories of her being carried to the hospital on a stretcher while she was bleeding flashed in her mind, reality hitting her like an over-sped truck.
"My baby," she gasped and turned to Yoongi and Hoseok who lowered their heads. They were prepared to stay strong and reveal the truth to her but when she asked with her eyes filled with hope and anxiety, no words slipped out of their mouths. Convincing a mother that their child is gone without even entering the world would make her insanely traumatic.
"Yoongi, what happened to my baby? My baby is alive, right?" Hana asked, her eyes glistening and her heart pounding fast, desperate to hear the answer she wanted. She held Yoongi's hand and shook them, trying to make him speak.
"Why are you not speaking anything? Where is Jungkook? Hobi, you tell me. What happened to my baby?" Hana cried, vigorously wiggling while Hobi held her. They could understand her frustration but it was tearing their heart to disclose the truth to the girl in front of them.
"Where is Eomma? Speak something, please," Hana begged, sobbing loud and Yoongi pulled her into a tight embrace. She kept wailing and he caressed her hair, not ready to shatter the girl's hopes and heart into innumerable pieces. Only he knew how excited she was for her first baby every time they video called.
"Hana," Hoseok started, fighting hard against his emotions and Hana pulled out of the hug, expecting an answer from him.
"Your baby," Hoseok paused, turning away, wiping the tears brimming in his eyes and Hana looked at Yoongi to continue.
"What happened? Please tell me that my baby is fine. Please tell that" Hana cried, holding Yoongi who broke down, hearing her words. Hana was already dying from inside and their silence is only adding up to her agitation and anxiety.
"Hana," Yoongi muttered and shook his head in negation. He let out whimpers as tears trailed down his cheeks. Hana looked petrified, eyes reddening and throat dried, unable to accept what Yoongi gestured.
"No, it can't be. It can't be. You are lying, right? If it's a prank, yes I am fooled. I accept that. Tell me it's a lie, Yoongi," Hana screamed and Yoongi bobbed his sideways, bursting out in tears while Hoseok dropped down on his knees, unable to face the distraught girl.
"Please tell me it's a lie," Hana wailed but Yoongi was silent, resulting in Hana concluding that she was no longer a mother. Guilt washed across her face for not protecting her child. She wished she never went to her mother's house. She wished the day never happened and prayed for a millionth time for all of this to turn into a dream.
But none of her wishes turned true. She still couldn't believe the reality she was stuck in. She wasn't prepared for this and it almost felt surreal to have her baby gone in one day. Till yesterday, they celebrated and were happy expecting parents but all she could feel at the moment was a void, both in her stomach and heart.
"Why? Why should it be my baby?" Hana cried, flinging her arms rigorously. Yoongi wanted to stop her but he knew she had to vent it out. He couldn't expect her to be calm and resilient in a situation like that. He couldn't bring the dead back so he had to let her be, at least until she completely accepts the truth.
"Why did no one save my baby? Eomma told it will be fine. How is it fine when my baby is gone?" Hana bawled her eyes out, her throat hurting and her breath shortening. Hoseok finally got a grip on himself and stood up to support his dear friend.
"Where is Jungkook?" Hana questioned, sounding lifeless and devoid of any emotion. She looked straight at nobody, her eyes blanked in gloom and turned into a stone after an intense wailing. She was unable to decipher anything now and needed to know how her husband was. She began to blame herself for being a major disappointment in Jungkook's life, like always.
"Where is he? I want him here," Hana demanded and the duo looked at each other's face. They were more than just terrified at the moment at how Hana would react to knowing another shocking news. All that happened that day only led to cripple Hana's happiness.
"Hana," the door opened, revealing Jungkook in all black and Hana started crying again. Seeing him had another wave of sorrow kick her harder than before.
"Shh, darling! We will be fine. You did no mistake," Jungkook rushed to his wife, pulling her into an assuring hug. He wanted her to know she did no mistake for he knew how sensitive his wife was at comprehending situations.
"I couldn't save the baby, our baby. I am a bad mama," she sobbed and the strong man, clenched his fists, fighting the tears. If he turned weak, there would be no one to support his grieving wife. He also had to disclose another traumatizing truth so, there was no way he could break down.
"Hana, you did nothing wrong, baby. It was an accident and you are not the one to be blamed. We just got rotten luck on our heads and I am very sorry I couldn't do anything," Jungkook tried his best to pacify his wife though he knew nothing could help the agony of a mother who lost her unborn child.
"I am so sorry," Hana whimpered and Jungkook pulled out of the hug, leaning down to reach her level. Cupping her face delicately, he shook his head in negation as a tear rolled down his face. Caressing her cheeks, he planted a soft peck on her forehead.
"Don't be sorry, baby. It's not your fault. You tried the best to fight and I appreciate your bravery to handle the pain all along during the surgery. You are the strongest girl I have seen and you gave your best to save the child. It's just that the fate wasn't in our favor," Jungkook consoled her, tousling her hair with love and affection beaming in his eyes.
Pulling her into another hug, he stroked her hair softly while she continued to sob on his chest. He stayed like that for long as he knew she needed him the most at the moment. He couldn't wash away her despair but he could stay with her and share the pain.
Jungkook glanced at Yoongi and Hoseok and nodded. The duo nodded back and quickly left the room. The couple still stayed in the same position and after a few minutes, a nurse walked in with a wheelchair.
"Thank you," Jungkook muttered as he split away from his wife who looked at him, perplexed. The nurse bowed and left the room after a moment.
"I really don't want you to suffer more but I don't want you to regret anything in the future," Jungkook spoke and Hana was still unable to understand what he was implying. Slowly picking her up with his arms, he placed her on the wheelchair, not forgetting the saline bottle and infusion stand.
"Jungkook, where are we going?" Hana asked, feeling very uneasy with all that happened till that moment. Taking a deep breath, Jungkook dropped to his knees, kneeling in front of his wife. Taking her hand in his, he tenderly caressed her palms.
"Promise me, you will be strong no matter what," he asked and Hana's nervousness started to escalate at a rampant speed. She was still not over with accepting her baby's demise and it was not easy for her to be ready for whatever tragic situation ahead.
"Please lean on me, this once. Completely and confidently," Jungkook asked and Hana nodded, skeptical of what was waiting for her. Leaving a tender peck on her hair, Jungkook stood up straight. Turning his heart into a stone, he held the push handles of the wheelchair to stride out of the room.
Entering a room full of loud wails and whimpers, Hana looked at Jungkook and closed her ears. She started panicking and noticed all her friends were wearing black, so did Jungkook.
"Did something happen to someone?" Hana asked, her palms sweating profusely in jitteriness. She scanned for her mother and sister in the funeral hall but didn't find them.
"Jungkook, where are Eomma and Kyunghee?" she asked and Jungkook just nodded. The friends looked at the devastated girl with heavy hearts and empty faces. Ara clung to Jin and Soo Ah and Yuri were hugging each other, unable to walk out of the shock the day has given.
Before Hana could speak something, Jungkook moved the wheelchair ahead, cutting through the crowd. On finding her mother and sister, she thought she could be relieved but seeing them wailing loud stabbed her heart sharply.
It just took seconds for her to look straight and realize why everyone's in blues. Hana's eyes widened and let out a loud scream on finding her father's photo inclined to the wall, adorned in flowers.
"No, no, this can't be. NO" Hana screamed, shedding tears and realizing that everyone was mourning her father's death. She tried to get up out of impulse but tripped on the ground, unable to contain her emotions and compose herself.
"Hana," Jungkook held his wife who was drowning deeper into misery. It was excruciatingly painful for her to lose two of her loved ones on the same day. Everyone in the hall looked at the couple but all they could do was throw stares of sympathy and helplessness.
"No, he can't do this to me," Hana wailed in Jungkook's arms who was gritting his teeth, controlling himself from breaking down. Tears welled up his eyes and he closed them, letting the fresh tears roll out.
"Hana, dear. You can't be like this. It will hurt you," Mrs. Do helped her daughter who was wiggling to leave her be. She couldn't absorb the harsh reality slapping her stronger than an electric shock wave. The pain after the surgery was her least concern with the agonizing truths right in front of her.
"He committed suicide. The doctors tried their best but couldn't save him," Jungkook informed and Hana collapsed into her mother's arms, cracking up. It was too much to take in and too hard to be normal.
"Eonnie, Appa left us," Kyunghee cried, hugging her sister on the wheelchair while bursting into tears. Taehyung stood behind, dissolving into tears, looking at the three women heartbroken and crumbled at their family member's death.
"I tried everything I could but..." Baekhyun paused, gulping down a sob
"It's not always in your hands. Don't blame yourself," Jungkook comforted and Baekhyun nodded, hugging his best friend.
Everyone acquainted with Mr. Do, all the famous business, media partners, employees, and friends arrived at the funeral hall and offered their condolences to the mourning family. Jin and Yoongi took care of the arrangements and Namjoon helped with the medical formalities.
Taehyung and Baekhyun took care of the visitors while the girls offered their support to their dear friends and their mother. Jimin and Hoseok took care of the police and the reporters who were curious about Mr. Do's unexpected suicide. Jungkook was all the time with the three women, heeding to their necessities and being their shoulder to rely on.
The cremation was done and Jungkook arrived back first to the hospital to check on his wife. She was not allowed to go out as it could affect her body with the surgery done just a few hours ago. He opened the door to find her fiddling with her fingers.
Her face, looking pale and damped, showed how dead and empty she was. Jungkook sauntered towards her and she raised her head to meet his gaze. Not uttering a word, she moved to one side of the bed and he understood what she wanted.
Slowly scooting beside her on the hospital bed, he settled beside her, delicately pulling the fragile woman into his embrace. Hana snuggled into Jungkook's chest, burying her face in his upper frame, only to let out hot fresh tears.
She tried, she tried her best to control but she couldn't. It was killing her that she was unable to see her father for the last time and that he was gone right after they had a huge verbal argument. Though it wasn't her fault, a part of her felt guilty for confronting him and resenting him all along.
"You know what your Appa spoke before his last breath?" Jungkook started and Hana didn't dare to meet his gaze.
"He took a promise to take care of you well. He told me not to hurt you," Jungkook uttered, caressing his wife's soft locks while she whimpered more in his chest.
"He told me to tell you this," Jungkook paused and took a break. Hana finally looked at him and he smiled painfully.
"He told me to tell you that...."
"He loves you"
*******
Author's note: Hola peeps! Please don't kill me for this delay, I was stuck up with a heavy schedule and distressing situations. I am trying my best to heal and make time for writing and I promise, I will not leave my works midway. Please ignore the grammatical mistakes as this was written in haste and it's almost 3:30 AM in the morning. RIP my 8AM class!
Also, this is the last part of Imperfectly Perfect Love. I wouldn't call it an abrupt ending because, in the end, all that Hana wanted in her life was being loved by her dad. I will have a longer note about this at the story's end.
There's a lot ahead and an epilogue will be posted soon. That would look more like an ending than this and I hope you will like it. I might post some after stories or a few bonus parts, not just about Hana and Jungkook but the other pairs as well.
I have started another book, a spin-off of this work, namely Awfully Amazing Love with Jin's story in highlight. Hope you support me there as well. Please check out my other works and look forward to the epilogue of the story.
Also, I am not active here so please don't be disappointed if I don't reply to your comments, messages, or posts on the message board. I will make sure to take time and reply to each one once I make it through whatever's going on in my life.
Please take care, everyone. Stay healthy and do whatever makes you happy. Create a comfort zone for yourself and prioritize your wellness before anything. Thank you all for being there in this journey.
With Love,
Hana