summary: patton loves his boyfriend, but he notices that he acts strange when they're in public.
word count: 1020
plz, be aware of how race, ethnicity, and nationality (as well as religion) affect people! i'm not saying to join the next blm protest near you; just be aware, don't be ignorant, and remain educated on all sides of an issue :)) and ik i usually do more light-hearted stuff than this, but this is an important subject, and i just really felt on projecting onto roman rn skjhfksjd
tw/cw// xenophobia/racism, homophobia, sad roman, some crying, anxious roman
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Patton entered his shared apartment with his boyfriend and shut the door behind him. He continued with his story but paused when he noticed his boyfriend quickly locking all of the locks on the door. "Ro, what's wrong?" Roman gave him a strange look. "I was locking the door." Roman spoke slowly as if it were obvious.
Patton frowned, now confused. "Why? We live in a gated community with security." "That doesn't matter. Someone could still rob us or break-in; it's just better to be safe, okay?" Patton sighed and watched as his boyfriend escaped into their bedroom to change. Roman usually got like this after going out in public; Patton never understood why. Around close friends or just Patton, Roman was an eccentric and loud person; someone Patton quickly fell for. But the moment he was in a crowd of strangers in public, he seemed very reserved and nervous.
Patton figured it was a personal issue, but he wanted to talk it out with his boyfriend if there was anything he could do to help. As soon as Roman emerged from the bedroom, though, back to his usual self, Patton let it go and sat down to binge Disney movies with his boyfriend.
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Patton gasped at the bakery across the street and tugged on Roman's sleeve. "Can we go there?" Roman softly smiled at Patton before nodding. Patton rushed to the crosswalk and practically dragged Roman across the street to the bakery.
Once they entered, Patton excitedly scanned the different muffins and asked Roman what he should get. Roman still acted weird in public, but Patton noticed that Roman would loosen up when Patton took the reigns, which is exactly why he dramatically led them to the bakery.
Roman chuckled. "It's whatever you want, mi- I mean, Pat." Patton turned to Roman and tilted his head in confusion. "Why'd you stop yourself? Are you okay?" Roman looked around nervously and nodded, forcing a weary smile that didn't convince Patton in the slightest.
Suddenly a police officer came up to the two and looked at Patton. "Excuse me, sir, is this thug bothering you?" Patton scrunched his face in confusion. "'Thug'? No, he's not bothering me." "You don't have to cover up, sir. You know their kind isn't very friendly; the moment you let your guard down, they'll attack." Roman squeezed his arms around his stomach and looked down self-consciously.
Patton looked between the two, the issue finally clicking in his head. "I'm sorry, officer, and what kind is that?" "The boy's a no-good Mexican and a homosexual; take your pick." Patton nodded slowly. "Right, okay, I'm sorry, officer. We'll take our leave now." Patton grabbed Roman's hand and exited the store, pulling him to the car they'd left parked close-by.
Once they got in, Patton immediately apologized. "I'm so sorry, Ro. I didn't know that's what he was talking about. This is usually such an accepting city; I don't see how that guy got into protecting the public when he discriminates like that-" "Patton," Roman spoke softly; Patton stopped talking and turned to his boyfriend, who looked defeated.
"It's not just him. I don't think you get it. You've never had to worry about anyone because you grew up in a White family, in a White neighborhood, where everyone was as rich and White as you were. I'm sure that when you were growing up, you were taught that the police were your friend, that the chances of people being homophobic, xenophobic, or racist were one in a trillion. But I didn't have that luxury, and I didn't get to lead an ignorant childhood. One of the first things I learned was to keep my head down and don't challenge authority because one wrong move and you're dead. I couldn't go outside by myself until I moved out of the house because my parents were scared that someone would get the wrong idea and I'd get hurt. I'm treated differently because my skin is a little darker, because I have a different native language, because my culture and upbringing aren't like other people's.
"You lived an accepting life, a privileged life; I didn't get that. You are the first person who I came out to, the first person I let into my life like this, that's because I trust you. But I don't trust everyone else, not the way you do. I'm sorry, Pat, but life isn't as black and white as you think."
Now it all made sense. Roman never showed affection in public, he never spoke Spanish in public, he never acted eccentric in public, he was never his true self. "B-But, Ro, I've seen it. There are good cops in the world, and there are good people in the world; you don't have to be scared." "When you're me, Patton, you can't take that chance. I can't take that chance." Patton stared down at his lap for a moment before nodding. "Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know about this, and I didn't know it was this bad. But," Patton sighed and turned to Roman with a soft smile. "I want to learn. Like, how can I help you? Would you like it if we went out less? Or maybe if I acted less affectionate around you in public? Whatever you need, I'll be there, right by your side."
Roman glanced at Patton and giggled; Patton's heart clenched when he noticed how red Roman's eyes were. Roman sniffed and smiled. "Well, I don't need you to act carefully around me or to protect me; I don't need a white savior. But if it's okay with you, I'd like to save our relationship for just our friends and family, and when we're alone, of course. And try to be more aware of how being Latino affects me. I can't always do whatever I want; I'm still very cautious about getting in trouble."
Patton nodded and pulled his boyfriend into a side hug, kissing the top of his head. "I'll do my best. And Roman?" Roman hummed in response. "I love you." "I love you too, mi corazón."
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wow, me making commentary on how bipoc and lgbtq+ people have to live in fear of others? that's new 0-0. all joking aside, i wrote this about roman from a latinx pov bc that's the only experience i can write about, and roman/remus are the only sides that are the closest to being latinx, so yeah :)) but do be aware that white privilege is a thing, it's not always in the way that i made it in here (bc that was just for the story), but it does exist, and it affects all people of color. ik roman's issue with his sexuality took the backseat here, but that is just as important, and homophobia is just as harmful. so moral of the story, acab does not mean we want to get rid of every single cop, we just want to alter the system so it's more fair and equal, blm is important, immigrants aren't 'out to take jobs and hurt others', and (if you're christian/catholic) love thy neighbor is still a thing so yeah. anywho, hope you all enjoyed, sorry for the small rant, love you all, plz plz stay safe, buh bye!!
3/16/21