Request for 💞💞
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Sorry for the long wait, school has been busy😭😭(there's also bulimia in this)
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TRIGGER WARNING: anorexia, throwing up
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You were really nervous because James was coming over and he wanted to make homemade pizza with you. You've only been together for 2 months and he has no idea that you have anorexia. He never questioned why you always wore hoodies and baggy jeans, or why you felt so skinny after a hug, maybe he was too polite.
You had already turned down multiple dinners and lunch dates with him so you wouldn't have to eat but you fear he was getting suspicious, so you had no choice but to accept this pizza making date. You put on the biggest and thickest hoodie you had and your usual pair of baggy jeans, then turned your thermostat to the lowest temperature so you wouldn't over heat and would have an excuse to wear the thick hoodie.
Right when you finished, you heard the bell ring so you hopped down the stairs and opened the door to find a smiley James with two bags of ingredients in each hand. He put the bags down and pulled you into a bone crushing hug. He never lifted you up because you had said to him at the beginning that you hated it so he wouldn't question your weight.
He let you go, gave you a loving kiss on your nose and went to the kitchen to lay out the groceries. "Your house is always so cold Y/N, maybe if you turned up the temperature, you wouldn't have to wear the thick hoodie everywhere" he teased and ruffled your hair. "It's just more cozy like this" you lied and sat on the counter. "Whatever you say goes my queen" he winked and your heart fluttered.
You blushed and helped him lay out everything you needed. You gagged a bit when you saw how much food he brought for the pizza and toppings but composed yourself hoping that James hadn't seen you. He got out some premade pizza bases because you both agreed you would be too lazy to make it from scratch so you went straight on to topping it.
James started by drizzling tomato sauce on his then completely covering it in cheese. You swallowed the lump in your throat and focused on your own pizza. Your shaky hand drizzled tomato sauce on it, then you put on a few bits of mushrooms, oinions and bell peppers. If you are going to be forced to eat the pizza, at least it would be vegetables and not fatty cheese or meat you thought.
"Y/N, the pizza is supposed to be unhealthy love" James laughed making you blush and look away. His laugh was absolutely angelic and was like music to your ears. It almost made you feel guilty about starving yourself. Almost.
The two of you finished off your pizzas then put them in the oven, then you flopped onto the living room couch to wait. James came and sat next to you, with your legs in his lap, then turned on the TV. The two of you sat in comfortable silence when "You're beautiful you know that Y/N?" he said out of nowhere making your heart pick up the speed, sending a rush of blood to your cheeks.
"I could say the same about you Phelps" you chuckle and cuddle into his side. You guys watched the TV mindlessly then finally the oven alarm rang, signaling your pizza was ready. James bolted to the kitchen excitedly but the same couldn't be said for you. You trudged across the wooden floor dreading every step, the smell of the pizza making you feel nauseous as you imagined all the fat and grease on it...even though yours only consisted of vegetables.
You sat down and saw that James had already set out the pizzas and gave each of you a plate, he then placed down two cups of water and sat down opposite you. You watched him take the first bite and your palms began to sweat. If you didn't eat, he would be suspicious, but if you ate you thought you would be fat. You thought it through and came to the conclusion that if he was suspicious it was harder to get out of, whereas if you ate, you could throw it up later.
You shakily took your first bite and looked up to see James watching you intently. You mustered up a smile and he smiled back, taking your hand in his and continued eating. After you finished the first slice, the feeling of bile rising in your stomach got stronger and stronger.
"James, I'm going to the loo, had too much water earlier" you said standing up. "Okay lovely, hurry though cuz your pizza might not be here when you're back" he smiled and turned back to eating. You darted to the upstairs bedroom desperate to get the food out of your system, you were so desperate that you forgot to lock or even close the bathroom door.
You knelt down in front of the toilet bowl and shakily shoved two fingers down your throat forcing the contents of your stomach up. You slumped down against the wall to catch your breath and you wiped the sweat on your forehead away. "I knew it, you're not eating are you" James asked from the doorway and you jumped and sat there motionless.
Thoughts started to consume your mind, what if he thinks I'm a freak, or ugly, he's going to leave me...but your thoughts were interrupted as you felt two arms around you, pulling you into a tight but warm hug. James lifted your chin up and wiped away the tears you didn't even realize had fallen.
You wanted to cry but you couldn't, you just felt numb, so you just leaned into his warmth and clung onto him like your life depended on it. James flushed the toilet and carried you out to the bed, sat you on his lap and cradled you. "I don't need to know why, or what caused you to do this, you will tell me all of that when you're ready, I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere I'm always going to be here and I'm gonna help your through it my beautiful angel" he whispered softly against your hair.
You didn't know what to say so you just took in those words and sunk even further into his arms, breathing in his calming scent. You felt yourself being picked up and James carried you down to the kitchen. He sat at the table with you on his lap and cut the pizza into small pieces, then handed one to you. "I know you don't want to but you need it darling, you're too thin" he pleaded and the last thing you wanted was to hurt him even more. "Okay Jamie" was all you replied before slowly eating the pizza.
You managed to finish half the slice but that was a huge accomplishment for you. "I'm so proud of you angel, I know that was hard but you pulled through, congratulations my baby!" James exclaimed and covered your face in kisses. He then cleared the table and brought you up to your room.
"Do you want me to stay? Or go home" "Stay please Jamie, don't leave me" you whimpered and he cooed. "Of course my lovely" he said and climbed into bed next to you. Wrapping his arms around your torso, he kissed your cheek and held you close. "I'm always going to be here my darling Y/N, I love you so damn much, and I'm gonna protect you from everything, even yourself" "Thank you Jamie, for not abandoning me, I love you too, more than anything.