A/N:
dear cass,
stop making me cry with all the larry edits and stuff on duplicity thanks.
yours sincerely, lauren
also! because i forgot last time🙄 this chapter is also dedicated to emohands
LOL K:
TW// talks of alcohol addictions, EDs, suicide and self harm.
this may or may not be a heavy chapter:/
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his phone rang and rang until he finally picked it up, the bright light beaming on him. 3:39 am the time read, liams contact showing up on whether or not to answer.
after what happened on the plane, he very quickly answered the boy.
"hello?" he tired voice managed to get out.
"herayyy" the voice ok the other end slurred "i- 'm
looost and 'm-"
"are you drunk again?" he sat up in his childhood bed getting more worried by the second.
"i- no drin... 'esterd'y 'nd 'eeded to l'e goo"
"fuck liam where are you?" he jumped out of bed pulling some joggers and a shirt on before walking into the main area of his house.
gemma was sat in the living room sipping tea, most likely no able to sleep. " 'he sig... says 'the yarnfei-d pub' "
"yarnfeild? christ how did you end up forty minutes away from your house?"
liam hiccuped "busses"
"stay where you are. i will be there in thirty minutes" with that he sighed but liam had already hung up on him.
gemma gave him an odd look "you can take my car if needed, keys are by the front door"
"youre letting be use your car?" he seemed wary of the offer. his sister sighed "you sounded worried baby bro, just take it"
"thanks" he hugged her before running out and starting the car.
how did he end up there for christ sakes? forty minutes away from his house? it been two days since weve been back home...
he needs help.
harry found the drive to yarnfeild quite nice. it was quieting and comforting, being able to drive with his own mind- well being able to clear his mind is nice.
although as much as it was comforting he still had the worried feeling on him like a blanket about his friend.
where is he?
he looked around areas near the pub until he saw the outline of his shadow in the tinted window. looking into the rear view mirror he saw how much of a mess he was but he didnt care at this point.
"listen mate i know who you are! and im so happy you chose this pub to drink at but you have had way too much to drink im sorry" the bartender spoke.
harrys eyes darting to exactly where he heard the voice. "c'mon! 'ne more yeah?"
"im sorry, you could get into serious trouble"
the curly one stepped in before things got bad. "liam" he called, the sitting boy spun around in his chair
" 'arrehhh!" the bandmate slurred stumbling over to him from the bar. " 'ou madeee it"
"christ li, lets get you home" he sighed wrapping his arms around liam, hopefully no one would take pictures of this. "thanks for taking care of him!"
the bartender looks up and smiles "welcome!"
although its just past four in the morning...
the stumbled back to the car, after buckling the drunk in to the passengers seat he got in the drivers and drove towards wolverhampton.
liam broke down into tears once more when they were half way there. " 'm s- sorry... you didnt-" he stopped his sentence letting his emotions flow out again.
"listen i know how hard this industry can be, how bad it can get... we all know but-" harry was cut off.
"he s got and eating disorder harry- its started to get worse too..."
zayn
"did he tell you this?" his voice was soft when asking the emotional boy this question.
liam shook his head "i walked in on him throwing up his dinner... a few months back- before t-tour" harry remained silent as he friend cried out. yet he was still holding back his own tears.
"i promised- not too... he-" breaking down even more "its getting- b'ad 'e need' h-help" his voice was sobering, but still crushed from crying.
it was silent as they pulled into liams childhood home. "right im getting you into bed and heading back yeah?"
"please dont leave- im... scared on be-ing alone..."
harry agreed texting his mum letting her know where he was. she quickly responded as she was already up for work.
mummy: hope he's alright. see you in the afternoon, love you xx
they sat in the kitchen at just passed five. liam with water, harry with nothing but his tired self. "i tried to commit..."
the room was heavier after that comment. harry felt tears from before come back, all he could get out into the air was "when?"
"last night... it wasnt- the first time..." the slightly smaller brunette sighed "i saw my mums medication and just went for it... when i woke up this morning i tried to hide everything then went out drinking"
only liam was talking at this point "alcohol makes it all go away h, just for a little bit at least."
"how long li? how long have you depended on it?"
tears crossed the two sets of eyes in the kitchen, the dim light made them glisten ever so slightly "when i created the drink"
thats right... hes the one who introduced it to us harry remembered before speaking again "that was two years ago..."
liam just ramble on and on... it seemed as if every thought of his that he has held back just came out verbally.
like someone finally cared...
"i knew it was difficult, we all did. we all knew what we were getting into. i thought i would get used to all the pressure. yet with the band getting bigger... there was more and more expectations.
seeing the hate comments telling me im the most forgettable or giving me shit for singing too much on the first album. at first i understood people would send hate, i knew that. i expected it...
i just uhm... the death threats, management pushing me to be the responsible one and taking on the parental role it was all so much. i felt as if i let my guard down and let my emotions show everyone would leave...
i started to self harm because if it, at first it helped. watching the blood drip down my thighs. the scars it would leave behind, the sting i would get from the blade swinging across my skin... it felt good, it was satisfying.
but eventually it stopped working...
so i turned to alcohol.
at first i wouldnt drink a lot... just the four shots with redbull, it would make me happier going out on stage. even then we didnt drink that every night. but at some point i just drank and drank and drank-
the numb feeling washes over me and all seems okay again... you know?
christ im drunk before ten in the morning... i dont think theres ever a moment where im sober anymore harry... i thought i was the only one receiving the death threats.
the day i found zayn purging, he let everything out... i know i promised i wouldnt say anything but its getting so bad now.
hes received just the same amount of threats at me, on top of people saying he was fat and management not allowing him to eat at certain points in the day.
then last night i saw the opportunity and took it... it didnt fucking work... is it bad i got mad when it didnt work? like i got mad that i woke up... so i went out tonight and drank so much-
i just want it all to end harry... god i really do"
his voice was shaky the entire time, quiet as well for his parents not to wake up.
"im not leaving you, neither are the boys... fuck i wish i knew this earlier bef-"
"before i tried to kill louis on the plane" the 'drunk' tried laughing, wiping his tears away.
they hugged, a long and very needed bear hug.
"yeah... im glad you told me though" he reassures his poor, tired bandmate. as a response he got a nod.
it was now quarter to six, both boys exhausted from this night. one definitely more than the other... "i have an extra mattress under my bed you can sleep on"
harry nodded, a guilty feeling lining his chest as they headed up to the other boys childhood bedroom. quickly they pulled out the extra mattress getting blankets and pillows out.
"li?" harry called from the floor. 'mhm' was enough of a response for him. "i love you yeah?"
"i love you too harry, thank you"
"goodnight"
there was no further response liam was already out.
***
harry was back at home, after a heavy conversation with liam and a decent amount of sleep he was sitting in front of his telly flicking through channels.
"why dont you go back to bed?" gemma asked sitting down next to him. "you look exhausted"
she moved his head under her lap starting to braid his long curls. "gem, its half passed two in the afternoon. i only woke up just before one."
"and you went to bed at?"
"just gone six"
she hums while she took the remote out if his hands and putting on 'coronation street'. harry rolled his eyes at the soap opera.
but still doesnt admit its a good series.
although in spite of him trying to stay up he fell a sleep on the couch with gemma still braiding his hair.
screw being tired!
harry woke to another phone call, head still in his sisters lap as she scrolled through her phone. "oh your up, he has called you like five times"
louis:) popped up on his phone, he sat up and answered.
"HARRY!" some voices screamed through the phone, his sister looked at him with a smile knowing exactly who was on the other end.
"hi girls, how are you?" he decided to place thencall on speaker phone for his sister to talk as well.
"im good! .... so am i!!!" the tomlinson twins- daisy and phoebe- spoke.
"hi girls" gemma chimed into the call.
"hi gemma!" they gasped at her voice. suddenly babies started crying and footsteps were running around.
"deakin twins back at it again?" he asked, this time another sister answered the phone "when do they not?"
"youre right, hi fizzy"
more cries and footsteps were heard before some muffled talking was being said and a very familiar and angelic voice came through the speaker. "what do i owe the pleasure to this phone call curly?"
"hi lewis" gemma snickered
"tell your sister i hate her very much" harry sighed getting up off the couch and moving down the hall to his room, to lay down on the bed
taking the boys off speaker phone he places it to his ear. "your sisters woke me up from my very well needed nap"
"hows payno? he called me today"
"yarnfeild lou... yarnfeild" he sighed again. "he spilled everything last night and zayn... hes worse than i thought."
"do we talk to them? like as a band?"
"yeah its best as a band, niall hasnt got a clue what's happened the past two days"
"alright, i got to help mum and dan with the new borns. see you tomorrow?"
"definitely, say hi to her for me" the line went dead.a smile fell across his face remembering the last time he saw jay.
it was more a sympathetic smile if anything.
the words she last spoke a few years back have stuck with him, but his own crazy mind twisted them in such an evil way.
"god will always love you"
its like somehow knowing what happened in the room, but nevertheless theyve stuck with him.
as they were not meant in the way he thinks, hes still grateful for those words as he tells himself its not what he thinks they mean.
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A/N:
yuh i went into detail
cass im sorry lolz😍
okay have a nice day/night
all the love -L
(omg so quirky🥰^)
PFFT BYE