Donghyuck
Jaemin
"Jaemin. I can't do this," Donghyuck whined, pressing his phone closer to his ear as he got closer and closer to Mark's apartment building.
"Yes you can! You need to talk to him hyuckie!" Jaemin sighed into the phone. "You'll feel better if you finally get it off your chest."
"But I've already told you! Plus Renjun and Chenle already know! I've gotten it off my chest already," Donghyuck exclaimed trying to convince himself more than Jaemin on why he should just turn around and go home.
Actually that sounded like a great idea. Donghyuck closed the door and was about to turn around when he heard Jaemin speak again.
"You know that's not what I meant," Jaemin sighed deeply before trying again. "If-Hey!"
"Donghyuck! Don't you dare turn around right now. If I just wasted gas on your ass then I'm gonna be super peeved," Renjuns voice yelled out from the phone. "So open that damn door and get in there."
"Renjun? How- Nana I was on speaker phone! And how did you know I closed the door?" Donghyuck yelled into his phone, probably looking like a nutcase.
"Haha, uh well..." Jaemin laughed nervously. "We uhm...kinda promised Mark that would you go and uh..."
"I swear to god...please dont tell me that is your car up the street," Donghyuck closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Ok we're sorry but look just go inside and if something goes bad then just come out and we'll take you home," Jaemin reasoned. Donghyuck could see Jaemin giving him a thumbs up through the windshield.
He was about to reply when his phone buzzed.
Morklee:
U almost here?
ImyourFullsun:
Yeah im here
"Good luck bby!"
"Good luck hyuckie."
"Mhmm. love you too hoes," Donghyuck shook his head before hanging up and shutting off his phone.
Here goes nothing.
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"Yo."
Is the first thing Donghyuck says when Mark opens the door and he wants to smack his against the doorframe.
Great way to start.
"Uh hey," Mark rubs the back of his neck before welcoming him in. "I'll be out in a minute. I got something in the kitchen."
Donghyuck snorts: "You? Cooking?"
"I'm not that bad!" Mark yelled from the kitchen.
Mark's apartment wasn't usually very neat, it wasn't messy either. Mark just had a lot of clutter because he was a songwriter. Papers on every desk or table space. Pens could be found in any room. Random sticky notes placed everywhere and most of his stuff was usually left out because of his random spurts of inspiration. Donghyuck always thought it was cute. But one look at the living room made him want to cry.
There were no papers in the living room. No pens, no sticky notes and no random books or cases.
He sort of had things he claimed as 'his' in Marks house or he had left some of his things here for himself. For example, he had his own purple toothbrush in Marks bathroom. Right next the Marks blue one. He had his own fluffy towels that he left for when he slept over. Some of his own clothes stuffed in a bag in Marks closet. He left some of his favorite cooking utensils in Marks kitchen. He had claimed Marks kitchen as his own because Mark barely used it anyway.
On Mark's brown U-Shaped couch was his favorite grey fluffy blanket that Mark owned. The one Mark barely let him use because the older loved it too. His favorite pillows were laid out, along with more blankets and he could see his favorite bear slippers he had left there (because he could never stand stepping on random pens.) sitting infront of the couch.
His favorite snacks were laid out all over the coffee table. His favorite candies, chocolates, chips and he could even see two bottles of his favorite pop sitting there too. Netflix was open on the TV to Donghyucks favorite comfort movie that he has made Mark watch hundreds of times. The one that he would watch to make himself feel better, it was a romantic comedy that made him laugh and feel loved at the same time. Of course Mark knows what cheers him up.
That was their thing together, movie nights. Where they would sit on the couch and watch all new and their favorite movies together before passing out at some ridiculous time. But it was never like this. If anybody else saw this, it would look like a date.
But that's the thing...
It's not a date.
"Here," Mark came out of the kitchen with a large bowl of popcorn. He set it on the coffee table before turning to Donghyuck, who was still standing behind the couch. "You gonna come sit?"
Donghyuck nodded before slowly walking over to the couch and sitting on the edge of it, scared that he was going to mess up the masterpiece.
"Relax hyuck. I know it looks great but we have to talk first," Mark tried to joke, trying to make Donghyuck relax.
"I know," Donghyuck just breathed out. He has never been more afraid in his life than right now. He felt like today was going to be the day that everything exploded. His life was going to end. His heart was going to be broken and his mind in shambles.
"Was...was that the first time?" Mark started, he wanted to get to the bottom of what had made Donghyuck want to do that to himself. Was that the first time? Had someone forced him to do it? So many questions he didn't know the answers to.
Donghyuck shook his head. It wasn't even close to his first time forcing himself to throw up. He'd been doing it everyday after dinner for months. But that was the first time like that, like a monster unwilling to stop. "No, it wasn't."
"Why...why did you do it?" Mark asked carefully, looking closely at the boy who had his head down and was playing with his fingers.
"Why do you think I did it hyung?" Donghyuck lifted his head up, a pained look on his face.
"I- I dont know hyuck," Mark was taken back by the question. "I have no clue why you would do that to yourself."
"To be better," Donghyuck shrugged. "That's why I did it."
"I still don't get it," Mark tilted his head to one side. "Why would you-"
"You are so stupid hyung," Donghyuck finally yelled. The volume of his voice taking them both suprise.
"Hyuck thats not fair. Im not-" Mark furrowed his brows as he was cut off again.
"You're right! It's not fair! Because you are right hyung. You aren't stupid, you are the complete opposite of stupid. You are sweet and lovely and funny and....just perfect! It's not fair that I have to see you being amazing all day long and its not fair that you are all I think of all the damn time. It's not fair that I have to sit and watch all these drop dead gorgeous girls and guys drool all over you all day long and try to pretend that I don't care," Donghyuck ranted, his breathing getting harsher the more he yelled.
"Haechan, what?-"
"I am sick of feeling like I'm not good enough but I know in reality that it's true. I'm not good enough for you and I probably never will be. You are the kind of guy people want to be and the guy that everybody wishes they had. I'm the guy they don't know the name of and they wouldn't care to learn it anyway. I know that someday you are going to settle down with some beautiful girl who is thinner than me and more kind than I could ever think to be. I've tried so hard to live up to those expectations but I apparently couldn't keep it up because you caught me in the act of trying. I kept trying to change your mind. It hurts to know that even your improvement efforts could never compare to what somebody truly wants. If you want to know the truth, I've been in love with you since the day I met you," Donghyuck finally finished, letting a tear roll down his cheek in frustration.
Mark was sitting on the couch, looking up at Donghyuck with his mouth wide open.
"Don't act all surprised hyung," Donghyuck rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. "You should have seen it by now."
"I...I don't..."Mark shook his head, still staring up at Donghyuck.
"I know you don't," Donghyuck smiled, his eyes full of broken hearted emotion. He saw it coming but it still hurts when it actually gets said. "This was a mistake. I shouldn't be here. I'm going to go."
"No! Haechan-"
Donghyuck quickly grabbed his coat from the hanger and slipped it on. He pulled the door open, only for it to be slammed shut by a hand behind him. An arm slipped around his middle, lifting him and pulling him away from the door.
"Mark, let me go!" Donghyuck squirmed against him, throwing his hands out towards to the door but the next thing he knew, he was being pinned against it. Marks hands on either side of his head, successfully keeping him in his spot.
"We aren't done talking hyuck," Mark's brows furrowed, he looked completely frustrated. What was the point of continuing if he was already this irritated.
"We just did," Donghyuck put his palms against Marks chest, trying to push him away but Mark stood his ground.
"No you did," Mark looked into his eyes. "It's my turn-"
"There isn't a point Markie. I dont need you to reject me in words, I already kn-"
"Let me finish!" Mark banged his fist on the door next to Donghyucks head. Making him shut his mouth immediately after he flinched away from the fist.
"Sorry," Mark softened, caressing his thumb against the shell of his ear as an apology before putting it back in place. "Just listen to me, please?"
Donghyuck did nothing but nod, a little afraid but his heart knew that it was only Mark. Mark would never purposely hurt him.
"I don't know how I feel. I'll be honest with you."
The words made Donghyuck turn his head away. There was no way he could look Mark in the eyes during his rejection.
Mark lightly grabbed Donghyuck's chin and turned his face back to him. "But I'm willing to try it out."
They stared at eachother before Donghyuck finally processed what Mark said. He shoved Mark as hard as he could but Mark still didn't move. He could see it hurt though by the grimace on his face.
"Do you think this is a joke?" Donghyucks eyes started to well up. What was Mark playing at? "Am I a joke to you? Are my feelings a joke? If it is then it's not funny. It's really not funny Mark Lee."
"It's not a joke. I've had a crush on you for a while, I know that. I only realized I was attracted to you after you cut your finger and-"
"Yeah cuz that was my sexiest moment-"
"-you had tears rolling down your face, blood all over your hand and when you went to wipe your face you got a little bit of blood on your face too. I hated seeing you like that. I felt so protective, like I don't know, responsible I guess? Then when we were watching Mulan, you were all smiley as you sung along to make a man out of you and I thought you were the cutest thing...Look I don't know how deep my feelings are but I'm willing to try it," Mark looked into Donghyucks eyes again, trying to convince him that he was being genuine.
"...try what exactly?" Donghyuck whispered out.
"Be my boyfriend," Mark whispered back.
"...we can try," Donghyuck looked down again, feeling extremely shy over the fact his lifetime crush wants to try going out with him.
"You have to make me a promise," Mark grabbed his hand. "You can't hurt yourself like that again. You have no idea how much you scared me. I walked in to see you throwing up and when I tried to help you. It was like you were totally gone...I hated seeing you so out of yourself. You could barely hear me and you wouldn't stop crying. It felt like my heart had been run over hyuck...it really did."
Donghyuck didn't say anything for a while, he only played with Marks fingers before looking up.
"I promise."
Mark smiled before tugging on his hand, dragging him back to the couch.
"Now sunshine, snuggle up with the grey blanket and put your slippers on while I shut the lights off," Mark said as he picked Donghyuck up and threw him onto the couch, making Donghyuck giggle as he plopped onto the blanket filled couch.
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Mini.Nana:
How's everything going?
ImyourFullsun:
I'm good. You two can go home now
Mini.Nana:
Does that mean? 👀
ImyourFullsun:
Shut up, I'll tell you everything tomorrow.
Mini.Nana:
*inhumane squeals*
ImyourFullsun:
Nana?
Mini.Nana:
Ye
ImyourFullsun:
Thank you for everything.
ImyourFullsun:
I luv u❤
Mini.Nana:
Aww bby ill always be here for you!
Mini.Nana:
I luv you too <3