Attraction

47.

I sit up as I wince in pain from the throbbing in my head, when I look around at my surroundings I realize I'm in Paul's bedroom. The sting of pain fills my chest as the memories of this once being our room fills my mind—I wish there were a way I could forget all of these things.

When I pull the blanket off of my body I notice I'm wearing one of Paul's t-shirts, I frown realizing he carries me from the couch and changed me out of my dress. Normally I wouldn't mind, but we're not even together anymore. If he's going to act like a dick then he needs to stick to that instead of turning around and doing something like this. It's very confusing.

My legs slowly carry me to the living room as I look down at Paul who's sleeping on the couch, I take in his appearance as soft snores leave his lips. His hair is disorderly but it looks good on him, as I watch him I begin to feel my eyes water. Where did it all go wrong with us? I thought we had it all. He meant everything to me but I don't think he felt the same way about me.

As I blink away the tears, I get up and go to the kitchen. I open the fridge to find a few of the vegetables I bought where I left them—The bag of peaches unopened. But the pot of spaghetti is gone leaving the fridge with just vegetables and peaches. I look down at my bare feet remembering the night it all went to hell between the two of us after he came home from work.

"Hungry?" I hear a tired raspy voice come from behind me. I sharply gasp and turn around to see Paul standing at the dining room table—I close the fridge and turn around to face him.

"No." I respond shortly. Very.

I keep my voice soft as I avert my eyes to anywhere but his, I don't want to make eye contact with him. Especially not after our fight last night...

My stomach grumbles loudly as I mutter a curse word under my breath, Paul holds back the urge to chuckle.

"I think your stomach feels otherwise." He says coyly. I don't smile, instead I chew on my bottom lip.

"I'm fine." I reply keeping my voice soft.

Paul opens the cupboard and pulls out a box of cereal as he grabs a bowl and spoon. He fixes the cereal as he puts the spoon in and hands it to me.

"Eat." He commands with a sigh as my fingers wrap around the cold ceramic.

I look down at the bowl and examine my wrist which still has his bracelet he had given me for Christmas. It hurts looking at it. As I take a seat at the table, again with the nice act. If he's going to be a dick then he should stick to it, otherwise this is just messing with my head.

He opens the fridge as he fills a glass with ice and then pours water in it, he sets the glass down at the table as he leaves the room. I begin eating as he leaves the room, when returns he gives me two ibuprofen as he sets them on the table beside the water—These small acts of kindness hurt.

They remind me how things used to be between the two of us. I wish he would just stop. I eat my bowl on cereal in silence as Paul leaves the room, once I finish eating, I take the ibuprofen and I wash my bowl putting it away like I used to. My eyes travel to where the coffee pot used to sit but it's gone, I notice there's no tub of coffee grounds sitting in their old place either. A frown forms on my face, where did the coffee pot go? I turn around to see Paul standing there with a sullen expression.

"Where's the coffee machine?" I ask keeping my voice soft, he hesitates before speaking.

"I threw it away." He awkwardly responds.

"Oh. Why?" I hear myself ask. Paul wets his lips by licking them briefly.

"Because I don't like reminders of the past." That actually really hurt to hear.